Chickpeas and Cookies during Corona!

It goes without saying that my thoughts get diverted, at times, towards the suffering caused by corona, but I keep telling myself, this too shall pass, and life goes on. We each have a story and go through various cycles at different times. Recently, the central part of the news has been based on a C-worded letter that has occupied all our time and energy with the madness surrounding it.

And my Corona story goes...

I travelled to Goa in India at the end of January 2020, as I have done for the past five years. After the health scares of earlier months, the Goa trip accelerated the healing process. Morning yoga classes with Jo, the afternoons lying under a pergola on the beach accompanied by sis Hala and friends we made on previous visits there, healthy delicious food, away from any stress and overthinking was everything the doctor advised. We still managed to dance under the stars at the Ecstatic Dance. On my last day, the 1st of March, I was introduced to Watsu, which is Shiatsu (a form of massage from Japan that supports the body's natural ability to self-heal); only Watsu takes place in water. 

Glowing with youth, with shoulder-length hair, big blue eyes, and a tender smile, Mitch, the therapist, awaited me on the beach. The sky was semi-cloudy, unlike other days. We sat on the calming warmth of the grey sand, and he explained the process of floating at sea while holding me from beneath. He spoke gently and mentioned the spirit of my father and mother, who have both passed. The tears began to fall uncontrollably. Laying face-up on the water in the Arabian Sea, Mitch moved my body, swaying like a boneless fish in the water. When he pulled me underwater and held me by the ankles, with eyes half-open, I could see the bubbles floating out of my mouth into the blue sea. It felt like being in the womb again. Not that I remember the first time. He had told me to completely let go. I recall holding him around the neck at some stage and sobbing. He was my mother and father, and I have been blessed with so much love. The tears were simply a sign of missing them on Earth.

The session ended with Mitch laying me on the sand with my eyes shut; he covered me top to toe with a thin cotton-white sheet. As he spoke or sang, I imagined a white light all around. When I finally opened my eyes, his angelic face with the sweetest smile shone above, in front of a cloudy sky in the background. I said surprisingly with a cheeky smile: 

"Goodness! Are you Jesus?!"

Returning to London on the 2nd of March was the beginning of Covid for me. Keeping away from the media in Goa was easy, so I continued with a similar vibration in the city. The world had shut down, and it was clearly time for reflection. I was blessed with a roof over my head and enough means to carry on without worry. Online slow flow and kundalini yoga classes, a month of dancing daily with friends on Zoom to Bob Sinclar playing on Facebook, going for walks in parks, social distancing with a couple of friends and taking up cookery again kept me relatively sane. I did have a go at baking but decided to avoid that department as I have a sweet tooth, and sugar is the worst legal drug in almost everything we eat. Yet, no one warns us of the health hazards it actually causes. 

Burning sage around my apartment in the invitation to joy and positive vibes while shooing away any negativity. I read happy articles and avoided watching the news as I have done for almost two decades now. Fear is not healthy. The summer of 2020 in London was kind to us weatherwise. So, I partook in gardening, prepared healthy lunches of varied salads, and sat in the garden to eat them under the shade of the olive trees. They may not produce much olive in this climate, but they look good all year round. Keeping a positive mind, I talked to friends and found subjects to laugh about. There is always much to be grateful for if we look in the right direction.

In looking inside the soul, there were, of course, moments of loneliness. Missing that human touch and the face-to-face chats with loved ones. As it happens, the Universe sent a lover to my door. Haha. The two weeks of lust and fun were great for what it was. But often, after passion comes the comedown. Lust is like a drug; once you feel it, you want more. Yet, I knew from the start it was not going anywhere and that this would pass in time. Or, another one has gone to dust. C'est la vie! 

When the daily, smiley one-hour dance sessions gradually ended, again, there was a void where the intense joy had turned into the silence of another day passing by. I wanted to dance again. 

I found joy in gardening and trying out different recipes. One thing I learned to make at home was hummus—chickpeas and tahini, basically! But boy, was it messy! The dried chickpeas took forever to cook in boiling water. Phew. Humus made by supermarkets is good enough, I decided. The hash cookies, however, turned out pretty good. 

We are so obsessed with learning, knowledge, and news that it constantly occupies our whole being. Sometimes, it is good not to learn. It is okay not to be okay. For peace of mind, get writing. Pick up a pen and paper.

Firstly, WHAT is making me ANXIOUS?

Secondly, WHAT has caused me pain and HOW?

Thirdly, what excites me?

These Covid times have had an effect on everyone. The youth are concerned with their future, and the elders are lonely, being told this is for their benefit. What is life about? It is to be lived, not imprisoned in our homes, and to be away from any human interaction. Who makes these rules? I question our leaders and their actions constantly. Politics seems like a dirty business that is far from the good of mankind. My most significant learning after forgiveness and self-love has been letting go of fear. Liberating my mind of expectations, accepting whatever life throws my way, and patiently waiting for any outcome. 

I travelled to Portugal with Sis at the beginning of November and attended Jade's engagement, an intimate gathering of her close friends in the mountains. The theme was Alice in Wonderland! The four-day event was simply out of this world. The Mad Hatters Tea Party began at 16:00 hour and ended at six in the morning. Need I say more? The music played by several DJs gave way to hours of dancing and socialising. It was so good to be amongst like-minded people who were just as pleased to be interacting with one another. I spent a week with my Girl and her friends in the Algarve, Southern Portugal, and when I returned to London, the loneliness of the past few months was cured. 

Another travel awaits. I'm going to a destination that is home to me yet dangerous to most worldly travellers. Keep safe, everyone. 

Love 

Haldita

 

The white heron and the white bull - Goa

Life is a school we attend throughout our physical time on Earth. 

From what I have learned, we are here in this physical form by choice. And although it's often hard to believe, considering all the trials and heartaches we endure, the question arises... 'Seriously? I chose this?' Yet, life is a school, and the faster we learn its lessons - especially the art of letting go of pain and heartache, the better our journey becomes. It's challenging, no doubt, but we have a choice: to rise and grow or to sink under the weight of it all.

Once more, I escaped the London winter blues last February and travelled to India to join Sis Hala for some sun and fun. Our yoga teacher, Joe, could not make it over this time, and the search for a replacement led us to Raj, a serene man whose daily practice unfolded in a large tent draped with see-through orange and green netting. One morning, as I prepared for our session, my eyes drifted to a lush green field ahead where something magical caught my attention.

(and noticed a white heron elegantly posing on the neck of a white bull. The site resembled a surreal painting enlivened with the melody of the birds and the gentle sound of the leaves swaying swiftly to the breeze. It was as though the two were deep in conversation, not by any sound but by flowing energies.) 

There, under the open sky, stood a majestic white bull and perched gracefully on its neck was a white heron. The scene before me seemed like something from a dream, almost too surreal to be real. The melody of the birds filled the air, and the breeze gently stirred the leaves. The two animals stood still, as if locked in a conversation, not through words or sounds but through an invisible exchange of energy, a silent communication. 

As I moved through the yoga poses, I couldn't take my eyes off them. The bull, with its strong, grounding presence, barely moved the entire session and the heron remained poised, a figure of grace and balance. The questions that surfaced in my mind were endless. Was this a form of companionshipt? Could two such different creatures form a bond? What could they be sharing in their stillness? Weather gossip, perhaps, or something far deeper - an understanding of the world that transcends words? The only thing that made sense was the profound peace they embodied. That moment, witnessing the bull and the heron together, felt like an invitation to recognise the quiet beauty in simply being present. No noise, no distractions, just existing side by side, as if teaching me that sometimes, connection doesn't need words at all. It made me reflect - aren't we too, nature's creatures, seeking that same peace in our connections, whether with others or within ourselves?

On other days, the heron would stand beside the bull, sometimes on a rock, facing each other. They would remain like that for hours, the heron flying off briefly only to return to its silent companion. Their relationship fascinated me. The bull, a symbol of strength and stability, seemed content to share its space with the heron, a creature of lightness and flight. Together, they created a balance that I found hard to look away from, so much so that I often struggled to focus on my downward dog. 

Now, back in London, as I sit wrapped in a soft blanket, listening to the rain tap agains the glass, I can't help but long for that warmth again - not just the heat of the Indian sun but the warmth of connection, of being held against another body. The longing for the embrace of a man flickers in my mind, but it comes with too much baggage, so I let the thought drift away, focusing instead on the sunshine. 

It's funny how moments like that, of stillness, of simplicity, remain with you long after they pass. They teach us that peace isn't something we have to chase. Sometimes, it's found in simply existing alongside another without needing anything more. The bull and the heron showe me that. I wrote this blog last year and never posted it. Writer's block, like a travel ban, lifted from my mind today, and I feel free to share once again. 

Writing down your thoughts and feelings is therapeutic. I recommend it to everyone I meet. Stay as positive as you can, even when life feels heavy. This, too, shall pass. 

Holiday Blues, sometimes orange, other times a rainbow!

Finally, I have surpassed my writing block! You know, it comes and goes. Let's see.
Gosh. It has been too long since I was on here. But I have gathered enough experiences to be ready to share again. 

Here is a mild start...

So, after a series of miss-haps, in the name of a TIA or a mini-stroke and ear blockage, which resulted in me being carried by ambulance to the A&E for the second time, life presented a new meaning to me. A trip I was planning in November 2019 was delayed due to health issues, and the decision to stay home in London was inevitable. 

You know, when you are truly grateful as I am every second of the day, you manage to figure shit out! As John Lennon finely quoted: "Everything will be okay in the end; if it's not okay, it's not the end." And goodness, it was only months ago that I celebrated my 60th birthday at my favourite London spot, Fabric Club, at a rave. I couldn't wait to announce my new, delicious, ripened age to everyone by singing, "I'm sixty, and I know it!" If I can help it, I ain't going nowhere on a galaxy visit so soon. Haha

After numerous blood tests, from one doctor or specialist's visit to another, seeing a healer or two, an osteo craniosacral and ending up in an alternative clinic, the moral of the story I figured out was... my issue was not about Ecstasy or weed, I do know my limits, but it was bloody SUGAR! Can you believe it? It was sugar and any food that turns into sugar in the blood, as in white flour, fried food, sugar, of course, and alcohol, which I only drank socially and not often. I am usually the girl with a bottle or glass of water.

I saw a naturopath who presented me with a healthy diet and supplements, listened to the advice of my new friend, the craniosacral therapist, and took a five-week holiday to Goa, India, at the end of January. My sis Hala joined me at our favourite winter spot, and we spent four weeks together in harmony, gratitude and joy. I shut the world outside and all its noise off like a switch and concentrated on my well-being and observing beauty in the simplicity of life. It is as close a state as one can get to Bliss. 

Joined by friends, men and women from all corners of the world, our usual yearly gathering with friends we had made since we began going brought all the magic. This was our fifth year to go back and boost our physical and mental system in the unquestionable flow of life that happens in Goa. Let go and let it be. Fabulous. 

The five weeks are over, and I am back in London. I must add rain and grey London, which resembles the holiday blues. So, to cheer myself up, after my boxing session with the trainer, I drove to Richmond Park for a rendezvous in the restaurant set amongst the lush greenery with a slightly older, charming Englishman. Oh! And good-looking, too! We hit it off immediately and started chatting like two old friends in the busy restaurant. Our afternoon conversation was sweetened by some sophisticated flirting! Mmmm... Grey skies and the pouring rain soon turned into noticing the spring pink flowers planted under the sash window where our table sat. The day sure brightened up, or was it the date? 

Listen, if you don't brighten your day, no one else will do it for you. Stop listening to the news and reading about Corona and this and that. Politics sucks! Find something that makes you happy. Watch a comedy. Read an uplifting article. Make love. Make peace. And always be kind. 

I am back! And there will be loads of leanings and fabulous stories to share... soon.

Altered State

The way to a higher being is to experience life on many levels, to let go of all the troubles and the past aches, the ego, the self-pity, and, mostly, to let go of any fear that has haunted us. It is all perfect to work on one's state of mind and live a relatively happy life with a positive attitude. Still, there is no denying that certain recreational drugs enhance feelings and, to a certain extent, give us an out-of-body experience. 

Please let me be clear, I am not in any way promoting the notion or encouraging anyone to take drugs of any sort. But we live in a world where the consumption of cannabis, for example, has been legalised to some extent for medical and recreational use, of course. Yet, psychiatric wards are filling up with young patients suffering from schizophrenia due to the consumption of skunk (a chemical method of growing marijuana).

The latest form of enjoying substances is called 'micro-dosing'. Essentially, it involves taking drugs in tiny quantities instead of abusing them, using the substance, literally, for recreational purposes, a buzz. Then again, the word abuse is questionable.

I was holidaying on an island in the Persian Gulf with some girlfriends. There are sites on the island of Qeshm that reminded me of the Grand Canyon but in a sandy-coloured tone as opposed to red. There were salt caves and long beaches with no one in sight. The place had an air of magic, although we had yet to reach the main town and shopping area.

Instead, one day, we took a fifteen-minute ride in a motorboat, mostly owned by fishermen, to cross to the next smaller island. The sun shone in a literally unfiltered blue sky, and the winter temperatures were no higher than 24/25 degrees centigrade at midday. 

Huey instructed us to approach a stall on the beach and ask for directions where someone would pick us up and drive us to him. It was all confusing at the time, but it worked out well. I sat in the front seat, next to our friendly driver, while the girls sat at the back. The scenery was, again, something out of a Western movie; unreal. The driver pointed out the sparkles through the sand in some areas, which shone through to our hearts. 

After a short drive, he stopped, and Huey appeared from the middle of two rocks to greet us. His smile was pleasant and welcoming, the kind you can trust at first sight. We chit-chatted as we followed him to the campsite, where a fire was lit, surrounded by a girl and three other fellows. Everyone was super-friendly, and we felt their warmth as much as the fire, which was mainly used for cooking, just after midday. 

After an introductory chapter, the three of us girls, with Huey and his close friend, Bobby, decided to go on a long hike after taking a micro-dose of LSD. The walk, which, according to Huey, was meant to take fifteen minutes, lasted over an hour. But the scenery was mesmerising, and the company was great fun. We finally reached a rocky bay with a sandy beach in between and decided to go for a swim. The water of the Gulf was too chilly in January, so we partially set foot in the sea while my sense of humour was warming up. 

Our roars of laughter must have reached the angels in heaven above, as there was no other soul in sight. We felt hungry and thirsty in a short time, as we began to realise we had made the trip quite unprepared. We were in the middle of nowhere! As we discussed where to source refreshments, a figure appeared on the rock. It was a young man, rocking the look of a Red Indian, fit, tanned and with black straight shoulder-length hair.  
"Hello!" he said with a friendly smile. I could hear your laughter in the distance, so I came over to invite you all to our campsite for a bite to eat."

Totally gob-smacked, we stared at him in disbelief. So, I asked:

"Did you just fall from the sky?!"

He answered without hesitation: 

"No! I came from the back of that mountain," he said, Pointing to the mountain range in the distance. 

We all laughed. 

The green-eyed man then continued: "Please come join us. We'll be waiting for you."

And he walked back towards where he had pointed out earlier. 

We looked at each other, and as the crew was wondering what to do next, I intervened:
"C'mon, guys. Our host insisted we join them for lunch. I'm starving. Let's go. Quick!"

We soon made our way to the spot indicated to us and came across three guys who stood up in our presence to introduce themselves. Later on, we named them 'Jesus', 'Moses' and 'Ibrahim', simply because they might as well have been those characters. 

The boys sat on a rock and offered us, girls, a seat that I just have to describe: Two large, evenly cut rocks, one as a seat, like in a sofa, and the other as the back. They were covered by a sarong-like fabric with a stack of rocks in front, dressed with a piece of cloth as a table would be. When I asked innocently, "This setting is unbelievable! You don't happen to have any issues here. Do you?"

Guess what? One of the boys lifted the edge of the textile and brought out a box of tissues. Seriously?! 

A large pan of rice with soya was cooking on the fire next to the table. Jesus, the guy who had first approached us on the beach, had made it. He served the food on plates while chatting with us. 

Moses had light brown dreadlocks with hints of blonde; a very original face, like a character in a Hollywood Western, with haunting blue eyes; and, last, Ibrahim was a picture from a Persian miniature. Now I can't say whether it was merely the effect of the LSD but these guys were drop-dead gorgeous! In any state, they were also super-friendly, and we laughed well with them, though our appetite had disappeared due to much excitement. 

Although the girls insisted we should make our way back, I could not possibly agree with them: "Leave! Leave where? We're in heaven. Where else does one go after heaven?"

One of the girls then asked: "I hope we haven't died and gone to heaven!"

I replied, "It sure seems that way. But oh no! I've got to go back to Earth. There's much to do before I leave."

After an enjoyable time (no idea how long), we left the three heavenly creatures and followed Huey to another bay to watch the sunset. The smooth rocks on the sandy beach were covered with algae. They looked like deep green velvet seats to enjoy the magical sunset. Simply amazing!

Huey informed us of the time and said we had to return to their campsite and decide when to leave before the last boat ride. Walking back after an unbelievable journey, we mentioned how much we'd like a hot drink; some tea. As we climbed the rocks to get back, the girl in her army uniform outfit whom we'd met earlier surfaced with a flask!

She said: "I thought you'd be back around this time, so I got you a hot drink."

"Don't tell me you got us some tea?! Did you?" I inquired sceptically.

"No," was her answer immediately. "I got you some cappuccino!"

"Cappu-fucking-ccino?" I asked in disbelief.

Indeed, she had brought us just that, a cappuccino in a flask. We could not have felt luckier. 

We gathered around the campfire, which had been kept alive in our absence and was now glowing at full strength, and drank tea while discussing our return. I butted in as usual...

"I ain't going anywhere now! I'm certainly not ready to return to reality. We'll just have to camp here, I guess."

The girls were in agreement, although we had turned up in swimsuits covered with long cotton dresses and shawls. We were not in any way ready for a cold night of camping, which would have been a first for me. But what to do? 

As darkness fell, the stars twinkled with the glory I had never experienced. We kept singing 'Twinkle twinkle little star' just like contented children. Hunger struck again when another good-looking character appeared with a sack hanging from a branch on his shoulder. Sobhan was his name. The boys greeted him as he introduced himself and sat by the fire beside me, lying on the solid ground, my head supported by a beach bag. My gaze drifted from the stars to Sobhan's face, lit by fire, while he swiftly peeled potatoes with a Swiss knife. I literally had to pinch myself to know this was a reality. He fried the potatoes in onion and garlic and made another pan of rice on the other side of the fire with Turkish coffee coming to a boil next to the different pots. 

Before food was served, Huey suggested we walk to the beach to watch the plankton in the sea. Sobhan kindly held my arm as our tired legs stepped towards the Gulf—yet another unimaginable sight! 

Under the velvety indigo sky, 
The twinkle of the stars made me wanna fly.
A deep blue sea may as well have been dry,
By the plankton gleaming. Oh my!
Don't take me anywhere, don't even try,
'Coz it's here, I wanna die.

The air was getting colder by the hour, and Bobby, who had gallantly carried my heavy beach bag all day, offered us his thick jumpers and socks and their tent. While we all scattered around the fire and everyone fell asleep, at 03:17am, while I stared into the sky, a shooting star flew right above me, sparkling all the way. 

Magic follows you when you seek it. The experience confirmed that your every wish becomes a reality when you're in a good place. 
  

Forever Contradictions!

Is my mind playing with me? Or am I actually feeling sad?

Last week, I experienced a low feeling down, which I cannot recall letting slip into that level of rock bottom in some time. It is ok not to be ok. With all the answers to so many ways to keep a positive mind and all the explanations running in the back of my mind, there was no way of escaping this melancholy state. 

Looking back at friends who have suffered depression over the years, I questioned what could possibly get one to escape the world under a duvet for days on end? Couldn't they seek help instead of cutting out those who truly cared for them? It was a puzzle I could not quite figure out until I felt it only in small doses.

It seemed like a wire had cut loose in my system, and to reconnect, I had to just go with the feelings that followed. How could I calm a mind full of questions about my future? What am I going to do with my life? In reaching out to friends from different corners of the world and discussing this state of helplessness, I realised this seems to be the case all around. I am certainly not alone in feeling uncertain and dissatisfied. There is an epidemic of mental disorders generally developing across the globe. The pharmaceutical companies must be making a killing and selling a variety of anxiety pills such as Prozac. 

When I realised it was going through the dark, the lows, and the downs, I finally saw the light—boom! This morning, an epiphany and an idea came to mind. It was as bright as the sun shining in the blue sky. The white clouds around were the marks of questions, which were now productive thoughts. There is always an answer, but we have to be in the right state of mind to actually see, feel, and act upon it. 

Although a relatively temporary state personally, it was a revelation as to what those friends through depression must be going through, in a more extended period, reoccurring time after time. When the wire gets loose, the whole system shuts down, the light dims in our mind, the heart sinks, and there is no way out. Any word of consolation or advice not only does not help but also intimidates the person who is not feeling good about themselves already. 

I am lucky to be able to share my genuine emotions and reach out to those who were truly there for me, the friends I consider my family, who have shown their true love over the years. They do not judge, and I can confidently say their advice comes with compassion, understanding and experience. We must place importance on grief; the loss of a dear one, my mother, is still fresh. However, to have accepted it, the comfort of her existence and the chance to see her, feel, and hear her speak no longer exist. She is always here with me, but she is not. This sentiment feels quite different to how I handled my father's death over eight years ago. Somehow I sense she is more distant although I felt pretty close to her and loved her dearly. I cannot help the emotions I am experiencing. Every experience is different, as is every snowflake, as we each are. Time shall heal and perhaps in that, I shall find the answer.  

What happened to the world I grew up in? There is war everywhere, and if there isn't, governments work to solve it. Best to keep out of politics, which is certainly not helping our longing for peace, peace around us as well as within. We all hear and see enough crazy shit going on around the globe. And in hope, we must live. 
Meditation and keeping doing my best is the only way to calm my mind and ground myself. Best in being kinder and more considerate. 

Who said life was easy?! Said No one ever. 



  

What do I want in life?!

Good question we ask ourselves over and over.
Here I was in one blog saying, I'm done with online dating, only two blogs later to write I'm back on it! Haha

Why the fuck not?! It's my life, after all, and I allow myself to change my mind when and if. This does not imply a general flaky attitude, but we live and learn daily. If I was to allow what others think of me to affect the woman inside, the free soul my heart so passionately craves to be, then who am I? A soul roped by the rules of what others bring on to me? A prisoner of my own accord, according to another's rules and regulations?
But why? Why do we allow anyone else to make our rules unless there is a weakness in us, due to life, that drives us to abeyance? A sense of vulnerability. 

Honesty is a virtue I hold on to with all love. How can I feel it for any other if I am not kind to myself? If I do not love and accept myself as I am, then... Who do I expect to? And how can I feel tic, deep love for any other without letting it in first in my body and soul?
Confidence needs to be mastered by letting go of unnecessary thoughts that lead to sadness and depression. Staying focused on constant gratitude for all my blessings helps me stay focused on what really counts: my happiness.

Now, back to online dating ...
In the 'very picky' state I feel at present, there was a recent connection with a guy, half Italian, half American, good age (all relative), fit, naughty but thoughtful, playful with words and with a good understanding of humour, visiting London on his last night. A good connection, one would have thought. Considering all our chats were fun, with a naughty twist and lots of hahas, we arranged a drink in Soho. I make sure to write' no expectations' before the meeting.

However, before leaving the house, I got cold feet! I was long over this game and felt no joy inside. It was hard to explain to my date that I was not ready to venture out on a meeting that I felt would lead nowhere. Well, it was not taken too well, despite my apology for irrationally wanting to cancel the rendezvous. There was no question in my mind; hence, I left it at that. 

There was, however, some fellow with whom we had chatted so amicably. Almost everything the other wrote in the text was followed by a 'ditto' by the other! Anthony is a man full of pizzazz, humour, and old-school manners. He is all in touch with what a woman wants to hear. Mmmm ... The daily chats were going so well that I almost dismissed the chance of meeting. But then, after a while, it was evident we had to meet. 

It is incredible how old experiences can leave a bitter taste of mistrust in one. How many texts does one begin to write, only to delete sentences and rewrite new thoughts? Incidentally, this could change again before the send button is activated. Old scars never seem to go away entirely, no matter how hard one tries to nourish them with ointments; the complete understanding of forgiveness. We may forgive, but as soon as a similar picture comes into view, the hurt, even if momentarily, stains the memory. And that is fine. We are only human, after all. 

For this reason alone, I am taking things slow. One more time, I deleted my online dating profile and let the hands of the Universe direct me to whatever way it may have in store for me. 

On a funny note, Anthony would call. We would laugh at his imitation of me in a slight French accent, mainly when I panicked before our meeting, asking him all kinds of questions... Then, there was a ladies' lunch with friends a few days before where Sally advised me to see her Master (as she put it) for some well-needed acupuncture. Another situation to remember is that I have had numerous calls from landlines for a property search I had put out there. 
So, one morning, a landline number appeared on my mobile. I picked it up to hear the heavy Chinese accent of a man, and I could not make the head out of the tale of what he was saying. Listened to my name, Haldita, and then more Chin-glish is what I can best describe the accent as! The voice was manly, and for a minute, I thought it must be Anthony pulling my leg, so after trying hopelessly to understand the caller's words, I uttered the following while laughing hysterically:
"Anthony, you're so funny, stop!"
But when I heard the man's tone getting angry, thinking surely it could not be an estate agent with such a heavy accent; after all, the Chinese are well-invested in London. It was not until the name Sally popped out that I understood. Oh no! It was the Chinese doctor trying to set me up an appointment! Shoot. I could not have apologised enough while he continued severely and mentioned the word Wednesday. Hallelujah! The next mistake was to ask for his address. He might have spoken Chinese to me as I repeatedly asked again for his postcode. At this stage, the doctor had enough, and he cut me off. The phone went dead. 

Oh well, you win some, and you lose some. I could not bring myself to make another attempt at calling the medicine man and left it at that. Why do people get offended? Mind you, who can blame the man. 

Back to what I want in life. I want to feel love, joy, and peace, and it is up to me to make it happen. Of course, there are plans for the near future, but it is all in the hands of the Universe. 
'Do your best, keep a positive mind, and everything will fall into place as and when. No worries, no rush.' It is what it is. 

Why Waste Time?!

We all know our time is limited. Expand on your boundaries.
How old we are is irrelevant; we could be gone anytime! 

And on that note, I decided to go back to online dating! 
There is this thing 'getting older', and most women, especially past their menopause, get put off men altogether. Of course, this does not apply to all women, but many do.
Dating has taken on a whole new perspective in our new age. When I was growing up, and I still am on that discovery route, it was all about the meeting of the eyes, those flirtatious glances, and body language. Nowadays, everyone is online, especially with the numerous smartphone dating sites. I tried that, too. As of the countless times, my index finger flipped to the left; it went numb! Haha.

So, I soon gave that up. I had told myself to get off the sites and concentrate more on the flirting, but every time I was out, it seemed either people were in their own group or face down, fixed on their phone screens, lit up. 

I may have grown older, but it sure does not mean my libido has evaporated into thin air! For goodness sake, I am a woman with needs, which is normal. Certainly not ready to kill any desire in me and sit aside and watch this womanhood turn into dust or cobwebs as the case may be. Hence, on a hot summer's night (and we have experienced a few in London this year! miracle), the mind played tricks on me and decided to look into some light entertainment; a mix of curiosity and intrigue got the better of me. 

Opened Safari and joined a site, unlike other dating sites, with men carrying more baggage than could fit into a trail of locomotives but something more naughty, yet more genuine. I have learned all the tricks of the trade-in, applying words in a couple of short sentences to attract exactly what my mind desires. In no time, a trail of chats was opening up; some would put a cheeky smile on my lit-up face, and others called for immediate 'blocking'. Now, for a profile with no photo, barely much description, and two short sentences, the attention I got was exciting, to say the least. 

My frankness, without being rude or uncomplicated with genuine honesty, is what gets the right kind of attention. In all frankness, I feel like a woman again! At least I can flirt with words and chat with worldly-educated, open-minded men who appreciate a woman when they read one. Lol. So far, being rightfully picky, there have been no meetings. But there is light at the end of each tunnel. I will keep you posted.

During my summer here, I saw endless arrays of festivals around Europe. I am no expert in that subject, but the two I have attended regularly have been: first, a cosy, super friendly festival of just over a thousand people in Northern UK and the second one happened to be the 'Houghton Festival'. The latter only began last year, curated by Craig Richards, a true master of capturing dancers' souls to flow into his music. Almost every big name in the DJ world appears to play wholeheartedly through the most magnificent sound systems, scattered in a dozen most scenic layouts throughout the impressive green grounds of Houghton Hall in the East of England.

Sis, Hala and I were in our element, feeling the love and dancing to flawless sounds, a form of meditation for us. To leave my body and concentrate on my soul, driven to levels of gratitude and joy. We glamped in a tipi tent, hoping for some dark, tall, handsome, hot-blooded red Indian to attack! Haha. Just kidding. Bet that got your attention diverted. 

My message to you is to count your every second and stop moaning! 
Things can only get better. Make that your mantra.

Happy Haldita x