It goes without saying that my thoughts get diverted, at times, towards the suffering caused by corona, but I keep telling myself, this too shall pass, and life goes on. We each have a story and go through various cycles at different times. Recently, the central part of the news has been based on a C-worded letter that has occupied all our time and energy with the madness surrounding it.
And my Corona story goes...
I travelled to Goa in India at the end of January 2020, as I have done for the past five years. After the health scares of earlier months, the Goa trip accelerated the healing process. Morning yoga classes with Jo, the afternoons lying under a pergola on the beach accompanied by sis Hala and friends we made on previous visits there, healthy delicious food, away from any stress and overthinking was everything the doctor advised. We still managed to dance under the stars at the Ecstatic Dance. On my last day, the 1st of March, I was introduced to Watsu, which is Shiatsu (a form of massage from Japan that supports the body's natural ability to self-heal); only Watsu takes place in water.
Glowing with youth, with shoulder-length hair, big blue eyes, and a tender smile, Mitch, the therapist, awaited me on the beach. The sky was semi-cloudy, unlike other days. We sat on the calming warmth of the grey sand, and he explained the process of floating at sea while holding me from beneath. He spoke gently and mentioned the spirit of my father and mother, who have both passed. The tears began to fall uncontrollably. Laying face-up on the water in the Arabian Sea, Mitch moved my body, swaying like a boneless fish in the water. When he pulled me underwater and held me by the ankles, with eyes half-open, I could see the bubbles floating out of my mouth into the blue sea. It felt like being in the womb again. Not that I remember the first time. He had told me to completely let go. I recall holding him around the neck at some stage and sobbing. He was my mother and father, and I have been blessed with so much love. The tears were simply a sign of missing them on Earth.
The session ended with Mitch laying me on the sand with my eyes shut; he covered me top to toe with a thin cotton-white sheet. As he spoke or sang, I imagined a white light all around. When I finally opened my eyes, his angelic face with the sweetest smile shone above, in front of a cloudy sky in the background. I said surprisingly with a cheeky smile:
"Goodness! Are you Jesus?!"
Returning to London on the 2nd of March was the beginning of Covid for me. Keeping away from the media in Goa was easy, so I continued with a similar vibration in the city. The world had shut down, and it was clearly time for reflection. I was blessed with a roof over my head and enough means to carry on without worry. Online slow flow and kundalini yoga classes, a month of dancing daily with friends on Zoom to Bob Sinclar playing on Facebook, going for walks in parks, social distancing with a couple of friends and taking up cookery again kept me relatively sane. I did have a go at baking but decided to avoid that department as I have a sweet tooth, and sugar is the worst legal drug in almost everything we eat. Yet, no one warns us of the health hazards it actually causes.
Burning sage around my apartment in the invitation to joy and positive vibes while shooing away any negativity. I read happy articles and avoided watching the news as I have done for almost two decades now. Fear is not healthy. The summer of 2020 in London was kind to us weatherwise. So, I partook in gardening, prepared healthy lunches of varied salads, and sat in the garden to eat them under the shade of the olive trees. They may not produce much olive in this climate, but they look good all year round. Keeping a positive mind, I talked to friends and found subjects to laugh about. There is always much to be grateful for if we look in the right direction.
In looking inside the soul, there were, of course, moments of loneliness. Missing that human touch and the face-to-face chats with loved ones. As it happens, the Universe sent a lover to my door. Haha. The two weeks of lust and fun were great for what it was. But often, after passion comes the comedown. Lust is like a drug; once you feel it, you want more. Yet, I knew from the start it was not going anywhere and that this would pass in time. Or, another one has gone to dust. C'est la vie!
When the daily, smiley one-hour dance sessions gradually ended, again, there was a void where the intense joy had turned into the silence of another day passing by. I wanted to dance again.
I found joy in gardening and trying out different recipes. One thing I learned to make at home was hummus—chickpeas and tahini, basically! But boy, was it messy! The dried chickpeas took forever to cook in boiling water. Phew. Humus made by supermarkets is good enough, I decided. The hash cookies, however, turned out pretty good.
We are so obsessed with learning, knowledge, and news that it constantly occupies our whole being. Sometimes, it is good not to learn. It is okay not to be okay. For peace of mind, get writing. Pick up a pen and paper.
Firstly, WHAT is making me ANXIOUS?
Secondly, WHAT has caused me pain and HOW?
Thirdly, what excites me?
These Covid times have had an effect on everyone. The youth are concerned with their future, and the elders are lonely, being told this is for their benefit. What is life about? It is to be lived, not imprisoned in our homes, and to be away from any human interaction. Who makes these rules? I question our leaders and their actions constantly. Politics seems like a dirty business that is far from the good of mankind. My most significant learning after forgiveness and self-love has been letting go of fear. Liberating my mind of expectations, accepting whatever life throws my way, and patiently waiting for any outcome.
I travelled to Portugal with Sis at the beginning of November and attended Jade's engagement, an intimate gathering of her close friends in the mountains. The theme was Alice in Wonderland! The four-day event was simply out of this world. The Mad Hatters Tea Party began at 16:00 hour and ended at six in the morning. Need I say more? The music played by several DJs gave way to hours of dancing and socialising. It was so good to be amongst like-minded people who were just as pleased to be interacting with one another. I spent a week with my Girl and her friends in the Algarve, Southern Portugal, and when I returned to London, the loneliness of the past few months was cured.
Another travel awaits. I'm going to a destination that is home to me yet dangerous to most worldly travellers. Keep safe, everyone.
Love
Haldita
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