Detoxing... Something I honestly did not think much about till...
The summer is fast approaching, yet, with the sunny, unusually pleasant spring we have been experiencing here in London, I keep thinking summer is over with the slightest of a chill in the air! Then I have to pinch myself, as we did in boarding school on the first day of each month and smile, knowing actually summer has not even began.
It has been voyages of discovery; travelling to different parts of the world and finding out about various cultures. A pleasure which I pray shall continue for the rest of my life. I got busy over the weekend, planning my next few trips to some new places and others re-visited. It would be more exciting to wait and write about them as and when they take place. Although they have predicted the Icelandic volcano ash could head towards UK, I shall put my positive cap on and 'think of England' with clear blue skies for the following weekend to come.
For now, my focus has been on the changes which have occurred throughout the years. I cannot help remembering a day at home with my young kids, feeling so low that I prayed for the Lord to take away the miserable life I was leading at the time. Then I recall how few years later, still not feeling much better within, thinking if one day, I get out of this rut, it could only be a miracle. There was total doubt as to how could I find that happiness that I once felt as a child? The teenage years were so full of insecurities and criticism was so harsh to take. Trying to be so well-conducted and affected by everyone's judgement and analysis of how one should behave and how life should be did not make sense when everyone talks from their own experience and have no idea what truly goes on in another's world.
Instead, I went around throwing my tantrums on the road, sometimes to total strangers as I was feeling down and yet tried to smile and make the best of the situations as much as I possibly dared to. It was during the therapy sessions with François that I finally began to have a voice and seek help in someone who was wise and yet compassionate; who gave me the chance to prove myself worthy of the life I have been blessed with. It was his belief that I could perhaps one day help others to find the road to happiness as I worked hard to get here. Nothing came on a silver tray, it was pure hard work and dedication to finding a path which led to showing gratitude by learning the lessons, letting go of the past and finding new beginnings.
Looking back at those days, it brings tears of joy to my eyes, thinking how much I changed and yet, the learning is never over, may God give me the will to carry on. It is not an easy task, going through the ups and downs. So, every time any thoughts come to bring me down, I let go of them as swiftly as I would brush off an annoying fly and think of something that makes me happy instead. Don't ever underestimate the power of happiness in your lives. Treat others, as you would like to be treated yourself. As not everyone behaves the way you wish them to, it becomes a choice... Do I want to continue feeling bad or is it best to call it a day with certain people. Keep your friends close yet your enemies closer. What enemy? There are only those who are critical of you because of their own circumstances in life. You can only find 'your own light', we cannot change others. Expectations of them which they are incapable of rendering would only be a waste of time to both parties. Sometimes, we cannot win. If a friendship (family alike) can be saved with mutual communication, then by all means, do try.
Finally, on a happier note, I saw Aisha briefly at a fashion do held in one of the suites of Blakes hotel in the afternoon. She mentioned a dinner that evening with friends as it was Falak's last night in London.
"Come and join us if you are free tonight," said my friend.
"I don't think so... Not tonight." I told Aisha with a cheeky smile.
"Oh! So what are you up to then?" Aisha sounded intrigued.
"I'm having sex tonight." I answered laughing. "Finally!"
"Really? You lucky thing." She continued, "alright then. Enjoy."
As we finished our conversation, I noticed a young girl passing by, who turned around and by her surprised, questioning eyes, it was apparent she had overheard what was being said. Always glad to make someone smile!
As the night fell, my comedian lover rang the bell and I opened the door in my Prada pink stilletoes and matching attire. Much fun to be had.
The summer is fast approaching, yet, with the sunny, unusually pleasant spring we have been experiencing here in London, I keep thinking summer is over with the slightest of a chill in the air! Then I have to pinch myself, as we did in boarding school on the first day of each month and smile, knowing actually summer has not even began.
It has been voyages of discovery; travelling to different parts of the world and finding out about various cultures. A pleasure which I pray shall continue for the rest of my life. I got busy over the weekend, planning my next few trips to some new places and others re-visited. It would be more exciting to wait and write about them as and when they take place. Although they have predicted the Icelandic volcano ash could head towards UK, I shall put my positive cap on and 'think of England' with clear blue skies for the following weekend to come.
For now, my focus has been on the changes which have occurred throughout the years. I cannot help remembering a day at home with my young kids, feeling so low that I prayed for the Lord to take away the miserable life I was leading at the time. Then I recall how few years later, still not feeling much better within, thinking if one day, I get out of this rut, it could only be a miracle. There was total doubt as to how could I find that happiness that I once felt as a child? The teenage years were so full of insecurities and criticism was so harsh to take. Trying to be so well-conducted and affected by everyone's judgement and analysis of how one should behave and how life should be did not make sense when everyone talks from their own experience and have no idea what truly goes on in another's world.
Instead, I went around throwing my tantrums on the road, sometimes to total strangers as I was feeling down and yet tried to smile and make the best of the situations as much as I possibly dared to. It was during the therapy sessions with François that I finally began to have a voice and seek help in someone who was wise and yet compassionate; who gave me the chance to prove myself worthy of the life I have been blessed with. It was his belief that I could perhaps one day help others to find the road to happiness as I worked hard to get here. Nothing came on a silver tray, it was pure hard work and dedication to finding a path which led to showing gratitude by learning the lessons, letting go of the past and finding new beginnings.
Looking back at those days, it brings tears of joy to my eyes, thinking how much I changed and yet, the learning is never over, may God give me the will to carry on. It is not an easy task, going through the ups and downs. So, every time any thoughts come to bring me down, I let go of them as swiftly as I would brush off an annoying fly and think of something that makes me happy instead. Don't ever underestimate the power of happiness in your lives. Treat others, as you would like to be treated yourself. As not everyone behaves the way you wish them to, it becomes a choice... Do I want to continue feeling bad or is it best to call it a day with certain people. Keep your friends close yet your enemies closer. What enemy? There are only those who are critical of you because of their own circumstances in life. You can only find 'your own light', we cannot change others. Expectations of them which they are incapable of rendering would only be a waste of time to both parties. Sometimes, we cannot win. If a friendship (family alike) can be saved with mutual communication, then by all means, do try.
Finally, on a happier note, I saw Aisha briefly at a fashion do held in one of the suites of Blakes hotel in the afternoon. She mentioned a dinner that evening with friends as it was Falak's last night in London.
"Come and join us if you are free tonight," said my friend.
"I don't think so... Not tonight." I told Aisha with a cheeky smile.
"Oh! So what are you up to then?" Aisha sounded intrigued.
"I'm having sex tonight." I answered laughing. "Finally!"
"Really? You lucky thing." She continued, "alright then. Enjoy."
As we finished our conversation, I noticed a young girl passing by, who turned around and by her surprised, questioning eyes, it was apparent she had overheard what was being said. Always glad to make someone smile!
As the night fell, my comedian lover rang the bell and I opened the door in my Prada pink stilletoes and matching attire. Much fun to be had.
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