Life on the 'b' Lane! Mmm...

Oh My! Oh My!  
On top of my head, there is...  Every blessing possible to be grateful for.  
It is not even hard work any longer to learn the path of acceptance and an automated understanding of the messages which come my way. My lesson of realisation now has been practising patience and being in the moment. God knows I thought patience was my second name, living under tyranny for a life sentence of twenty years with someone who is an extraordinary man in many ways, but basically, we were not meant for each other. Yet, how can I say that when my reason for being here is open to a world created by living a life of purpose and love? Unless we grew together to separate in peace and harmony, a state few couples can reach? It takes two to tango, and only God knows I wish Everyone happiness because the world has no shortage of indifference flying all around, meaningless relationships based on what looks right, not what feels good.

Let's face it: The rock bottom of my emotional ups and downs has been, believe it or not, not being able to drive! Now that I have my four wheels outside the door, life is yet again moving in the fast lane. Did I say fast?! Well, there are no cameras in the back streets, which I am very familiar with. Haha.

My conscience speaking to God:
God, in you I love, and in your love, I find joy on many levels. I talk to people randomly about allowing their accurate search to be for happiness within.  
I am a God lover, and no one will ever be able to stain the purity in which he exists in my mind or in my life. I trust in him and give wholeheartedly with total awareness of being a solution-finder, rising above issues, and simply going with the flow. 

Now ...  Haldita has a b.b.b.b.boyfriend! Hence, Oh My!
The 'b' word is a new one that has been added to my dictionary in the past few weeks. Well, I did mention a Maximo in my last blog who has sometimes made me rest my elbow on the table, index finger on the mouth, wrist bent, eyes rolling up and think... Really?!
My life is so wonderfully perfect; don't let that word fool you into thinking perfect is one hundred per cent all around. Not at all! Ouuufff! Who are we kidding? I do not wish for that; life has taught me that in challenges, I thrive. Been watching videos on ninety-something-year-old ladies; one a yoga and dance teacher and others where you admire how they can boogie those arses off, which others would think 'should' be sitting on a sofa in front of a TV knitting. Some acts take great courage to overcome, such as letting go of fear and making changes.  

Did my thoughts run away again? Or is that a question?!  
Yes, back to Maximo. Well, what can I tell you? He tickles my fancy quite a lot!  
Been advised to let it flow...  
And who knows after?  
I may get to glow!  
Finally, a man who knows what he wants and can show it. Boy, did I doubt and question whether I am ready for this! Hell girl, I thought to myself, you have been single for twelve years! Apart from the 7/8 months period, I dated someone 'sensible'! But everyone he or I knew was aware that we could not have been more unsuited! Now, Even openly confessing my naughty past to Maximo, he did not seem threatened, and there was trust between us. It looks like a proper adult match, with talk of possibly more.  

Meaning is what I asked the universe for, and it is flowing in my life,
Every way I look, every time I raise my hands to the Almighty,
Friends appear as raindrops to nourish this naked, dry soul,
As the colourful autumn leaves fall through a light breeze, 
Dancing under the last of summer heat, feeling the air of a new season; 
A new beginning. 

The new woman in my life is the girl who has started helping me around my place; Otgoo. I have always been small on house duties! She is an absolute delight and caring. Of course, I miss Nolita, who has gone to build her new life in Sri Lanka, but we each have a path, and when they cross, may it be pleasant and goodbyes, only a temporary separation till we meet again. Otgoo's father only passed away a couple of nights ago, back in her homeland, but she asked to come to work today. She is here with her husband and young child and away from her dad. Since she had commented a few times on how she enjoys the House Chill-out music selection I play, I put on some music, and between my chores, we talked of the importance of realising your loved ones never actually leave your side. In fact, they are there every time you think of them and let them support you morally to get over life's hurdles. We are not here alone. I talk to God often and laugh with him when I think of the mad moments of my life. I sure ain't lost the plot! I have found myself and the God within. 

Last Saturday, I just had to go to Fabric (Club) to dance again; my second home, as many call it! Brilliant!
That is my escape, where I get well greeted and welcomed with warm hugs. Decided to be sensible and take a cab to get there by 1:30am and stay in DJ booths with the lovely Lady Judes. I was standing behind a stage wall, watching the crowd below in a happy trance to the music of Thomas Paulsen while Judes chatted to the DJs from FUTURE to go next live on stage. No matter what state of mind, I am always aware of how blessed I am to live a life far beyond my wildest fantasies ever! If only you had any idea how helpless I felt in certain times of my life, how low and worthless I was, then realise what changes I had to make to get into this state of humble gratefulness.
For those who tell me, 'Haldita, it's easy for you to say/do', no honey bunches, I have had to learn, and as hard as it was adopting to boarding school and every part of my life that followed, I reached a state where feeling pain was no longer an option. There had to be another side to life. Change of path, change of plans.

The week has had its moments again. My sister Hala is in town, and for the first time since I separated twelve years ago, she is not staying with me at my place but with the lovely Lady Diba. It would be unfair if I said 'we' have not been in touch because Hala has; however, I am not in' reconciliation mode' until I feel a difference in her actions and words. By not disclosing any reasoning, it may sound selfish on my part. Actions speak louder than words, so I keep quiet and respectfully away for now. The reason for mentioning this is to go back to the complications that arise in relationships of any sort or kind. It is about two people; both parties must feel compatible on many levels. If it becomes a chore or hard work, it is best to detach oneself and see if the other party is willing to make any changes to drive the wheel of the relationship to a higher, more joyful all-around level. Otherwise, what is the use of living in an unhappy environment when it hurts or makes one question it all, where no one judges the other but enjoys the company of one another?

However, we did have a very pleasant evening out in the company of Lady Diba and Hala at a lavish dinner in one of London's finest eateries, followed by a hand at roulette. We met up over breakfast at our dear family friend's place, but we simply need to live separate lives for now. Time is all we need for revelations.

Anyway, in Fabric last Saturday, when we entered the DJ booths where Thomas Paulsen was playing great techno sounds, as I danced next to the lovely blond girl behind him (whom I gathered must be his girlfriend, Speil), we smiled at each other. She put her arms around my waist and visa versa while we danced. Special hugged me, and we began conversing under the loudspeakers above us! As we further bonded in the smoking area afterwards, Bergen was where Thomas was from; it was the only place in Norway I had visited. In fact, it was at Troy's invitation, and Hala and I went there. We had an unforgettable time in the company of Troy, staying at Vidar and Hanne's and being taken by boat to their holiday island home under cold, wet conditions at the end of August, being fed gourmet meals and getting better acquainted. Anyway, I invited Speil to accompany her man for an early evening visit to my place on Monday, and the couple accepted. Awesome!
They arrived to a sunny afternoon in the garden, sitting under the sun with Troy and his new puppy, Gin, along with Charlotte, who had offered to bring us her home cooking of delicious rice and broad beans mixed with dill weed and a melting lamb dish in a red sauce. Troy prepared a whole lot of starters from all the food already in my fridge!
A delightful evening of food, bonding and listening to music.

At Fabric, after dancing and mingling with a few, I also met three lovely guys from Poland and Israel; while joining them, sitting on the large ashtray in the form of an outdoor stoney ground full of cigarette ends and talked to them, again about anything and everything! Then, bumping into another adorable young buddy with a big hug on the dance floor. Life is what we make it out to be. Make sure you make the most of your moments, who knows what's round the corner? Right? When the early hours of the morning came in view through the lightening of the sky from indigo to different shades of blue and then grey on that occasion, after the closing hour of 8:00am, Judes asked me to join her for breakfast at Hotel Mal Maison round the corner, with three of the lively DJs from the night before. Detroit was the city most had flown in from.

Ok, I need to get packed; the hour reads 23:00 already!  
It's Haldita and her boyfriend off to Tuscany next! An intriguing experience, no doubt.
Keep smiling loved ones, you look so much more gorgeous that way. (Repeat!)

Lori just sent me a video taken now, out and about in Marbella, with a message from her new friend; the mature lady holding a glass of wine in one hand says:
"Special people meet Special people". 




  

Free... Is all I wanna be!

Sitting in my living room, looking outside onto the garden, which has brought me much joy and happiness since I moved here; the constant pouring rain is doing my job of watering the lavish green shrubs, the pink flowers I planted, olive trees and an underdeveloped fig tree. Sadly, the excitement of picking figs from my garden did not come to fruition this year, but there will be next year to look forward to. It is August, for goodness sake! Yet the sky, with its dark clouds and a drop in temperature, gave way to an immature autumn descending upon us here in London.  
I could have been at the Notting Hill Carnival instead! Oh well, once again, there is always next year!  

And in hope, I live.
The best news last week was Jade's arrival on the same day my driving license showed up in the post! Yay. After a six-month ban, I am now off the hook and looking for a new mode of transport. Never did get much used to the metro, but Uber taxis... I strongly recommend it, mainly since they operate in many major cities. The impact of not having a car had on my mood was such that I actually purchased a packet of St John's Wort, which is a traditional herbal medicine to help relieve low mood and anxiety (basically an anti-depressant); this is not one advised to be taken for sunbathers, a last measure in case my low mood did not take a turn. However, things have a way of working out. I put the packet aside when my friend Phillip offered to accompany me to the Car Giant garages and check out all the hundreds of great second-hand cars on display there. We went on a midweek afternoon when the indoor and outdoor spaces were filled with nothing but automobiles and barely a buyer in sight. Awesome! My car was standing there waiting for my arrival. It was love at first sight: 'he' had to be mine. My car is always a 'he' because, boy, I will ride it!
Here I am on wheels again! Yay! I will have to write a thousand times (in my mind, I left school too long ago!) 'Thou shalt not speed, nor jump the lights again'.

Jade's unexpected visit and stay over the Notting Hill Carnival Bank Holiday was full of cheer. We met up with her cousins and had a girls' night out at the much talked about Chiltern Firehouse, a hotel, restaurant and bar known for its fair share of celebrity visits, especially to the bar area. We were greeted amicably by their close contact, the Maître D', and after a drink at the bar, proceeded to dinner, which was not much to write home about, but the ambience was fab. We returned to the bar afterwards only to see the gorgeous face of Russell Brand, the much-discussed comedian and activist amongst many other talents, standing close to Noel Gallagher. We, the four girls, flaunted ourselves upon Russell to express how we admired his notoriety and bright outlook in areas few dared expose. He appreciated and accepted the girls' offer to join us for a drink... Of water, I may add.
"In a moment." Russell Brand added as he left off briefly.

The bar at Chiltern Firehouse (which happens to be just that, an old firehouse transformed) is decorated like a living room with sofas and armchairs. We took our seats and ordered those yummy Espresso Martinis and a bottle of water for our friend. Russell Brand, sure enough, kept to his word and came over. He knelt beside me, drank his water, chatted with us lightly about world affairs, and put his arm around me doing it! Awww. How cute. So, I reciprocated the gesture, put my arm around him, held him close, and told him... God knows what I said! He was charming and lovely, and his words were actual; he made sense. I will vote for him at any time.
'The world is not made of atoms, it's made of stories'. Interesting man.

Jade was in town on a Saturday evening, and our minds were set on hitting the dance floor at Fabric. Beforehand, however, we joined friends at a Soho dinner and cabaret spot called Bob Bob Ricard with a show of a man in a bowler hat who juggled it away like Fred Astaire, a cane in the other hand under a dimmed blue light. Everyone left after dinner, so Jade and I went to our favourite nightclub. Lady Judes was there to welcome us in a warm hug; her words are always heartwarming; she said:
"Where have you been, Haldita? I missed your vibes here."

Why can't most people be as kind and loving? I must keep reminding myself of the beautiful bubble I mostly live in; a bubble of love that will not stand for unkind injustice. The music in the Fabric and every room we went in must have been made in the heavens above - feeling high in the ecstasy of life, friendship, and the love of everyone I know there, making this place my favourite hangout. I just wish I could remember the names of these fantastic DJs whose music I enjoy hours dancing to! Haha. We left at a respectable hour of 7:45am to laze around at home on Sunday.

Any attempt to go to the Notting Hill Carnival on Monday went smoothly due to the heavy downpour of rain, which carried on non-stop throughout the day. So, we lay in front of the TV watching movies. By Tuesday, our time together on this occasion had ended, and Jade left while I got better acquainted with my new help around the flat, Otgou. With my help over the last fifteen years, Nolita decided to return to her country and build herself a life there. I could not be happier for her, yet she had been a dear friend to me over the years, and she will be missed, primarily as I had taught her all my cooking, and I now have to start doing it myself again! Every change is welcome in my life, and so far, Otgou is doing ok, and I eat out most of the time anyway.

As of last weekend, I decided to give Tinder a chance. So many friends are engaged on the dating site, and although online dating seems like a thing of the past, this is actually on-phone dating! Why not?! The first guy I met was only a few years older than me (for a change!), and although I knew Yoni was from Israel, he never asked me about my origins. So, we met at Sloane Square, and he asked me to choose a favourite place to dine in. Colbert was there, so we sat at a table in the bar area. As we settled in our seats, Yoni asked me with a puzzled expression:
"Where are you from?" 
He seemed shocked when I answered.  
"Really?" He went on. "Do you know where I come from?!"
"Yes," I confirmed. "You did tell me before."
"And are you ok with that?"  Yoni questioned in disbelief.
"Well, I obviously am." I continued: "Are you ok with it?"
He smiled and said it was absolutely fine. So, I told him:
"You see how we all get entangled into separating one another due to religion and land ownership? We're all one, and each of us has input into this life, so we could each make that difference in showing unity in the human race."

Although the dinner and chat were enjoyable, I told him of a visit with my sister Hala to Eilat, the Israeli holiday resort, and the interrogation we were put through in that airport in Ovda, a military base, 45 minutes outside Eilat. I was told to wait outside the grounds before sunset, in the middle of a deserted area bordering Egypt and Jordan. Thank goodness the taxi arrived before sunset, and I am here to tell the tale. Oh well, life is what it is, and experiences are there for us to learn from and widen our horizons. Yoni returned with a different view towards not judging after our brief encounter; it was just that; a dinner and a pleasant chat.

My next Tinder meet was on Saturday, under the clock in Waterloo station, where many romantic tales have been told over time. Just kidding about the clock! Maximo was waiting at the bar on a higher level, overlooking the trains below. He waved at me as I arrived on top of the escalators and walked straight into his starry blue-eyed gaze. I don't know how I reacted when we met. I was more focused, looking too overwhelmed by that fit body! Ayayaya. We had been messaging each other until late in the morning from the first night we connected on the phone, so I felt lost for words when we were meeting. Strange coming from me. The weather had taken a turn for the better, and we walked along the South Bank by the river Thames, visited a pizzeria over a bottle of red wine and got better acquainted. The afternoon continued on, getting more and more exciting by the hour ...

The weekend was absolutely enchanting as Sunday afternoon, I Ubered my way to the Cargiant showroom, where I met the charming car salesman who went through the paperwork as simple as buying a cake at the patisserie; it was all painless and pleasant, and I was handed the keys to my new toy and was told to find him in the garage outside the offices. I sat in the driver's seat, and as I was given wings again, I flew out onto the motorway roads, ensuring the speed limits were in control!  

Late again! I had texted Barton to inform him of my moves, as our host announced at the superb roast Lucia had prepared:
"We said 2:00pm as we knew Haldita would arrive by 4:00!"
And I did. The other guests at the table of six included Raul, Barton's old, young flatmate with a new addition to the household; Candice, a vibrant and generally happy, mature young girl plus the newly-weds; Colman and Emiko, who had met in the Far East and now lived in London.
It was one of those magical Sunday afternoons: great company, fabulous food, hearing the live band playing right outside the open windows onto Portobello Road, and the crowd buzzing below us.  
After a fun-filled meal and a great chat getting to know everyone, I was back on four wheels. Troy had adopted a new puppy named Gin, so a visit to say hello to my new niece was a necessity.  
What a superb end to an exciting weekend that was!

The week to follow was no less adventurous. It began with meeting Donna for a new business plan, and we were joined by someone to assist us with our ideas. Schlepping it along to the East End by underground was quite a chore, especially with another downpour of rain and the end-of-the-day rush hour, but it was exciting nonetheless.

Thursday evening was... Different as I joined Aisha and six other girls to visit a Shakespeare play, Titus Andronicus performed on the sixth floor of a parking lot in Peckham! I do not recall ever visiting Peckham in all the years of driving around London. Aisha even asked our cab driver: "Do we need a passport to go to Peckham?" Her email mentioned the dress code to be casual and comfortable, which the girls clearly had yet to take. We finally reached our destination an hour later and went on the rooftop of the empty car park on the seventh floor to an open bar area with people scattered around. Aisha met with other familiar faces as we were instructed to move to the sixth floor. We entered the secluded concrete area with low ceilings. The actors moved around the audience, and as the actress playing Lavinia offered her hand, appearing in a mist before me, I smiled and kissed her on the cheeks as I shook her hand back! Typical.
Although grotesquely violent, Shakespeare's most brutal and bloodiest play, based on revenge, was written in the late sixteenth century and bore a remarkable resemblance to the world we live in today.   

Sitting on the cold car park floor was not my idea of how I like to watch a play, but when in Rome! No one in our group seemed the least impressed with the play, and in fact, five of us left during the interval and the violent scenes; however, I really enjoyed the play. The energetic team of actors kept me on the edge of my wooden seat, which I had chosen for the show's last half.

The evil brothers in Titus

The second act of Titus Andronicus

 
























Friday came too soon. I decided to give cooking another go and invited Maximo to be the first to taste an exceptional rice and chicken dish made with yoghurt, egg and saffron. Accompanied by the Chateauneuf du Pape, courtesy of my guest, the dinner went down fabulously. Or so I thought! Haha. Maximo, who is of similar age to me, looks amazingly good for his years, and his behaviour proved to be the kind of gentleman one sees in old movies with his Italian charm and attention to what a woman loves to hear about her hair, her body and all the rest, is flattering to no end. He arrived just as I was about to lose faith that real men are extinct.  

Saturday was a sunny day at Portobello market, indulging in a thin oven-baked pizza and red wine and the purchase of a very special shawl (I should write my own diary of a shopaholic!) whereafter Maximo and I parted company, as I had to get ready for the night's adventure at Battersea Power Station, which is about to be remodelled and is pulled chiefly down and has been transformed into a Fire Garden. The invite came from Fauzi, whom I met recently with Isabella, along with his partner Lanzo, whom I had not met before, and their good friend Celeste. Rustic black flower pots hung in different shapes and forms filled the lawn amongst the visitors scattered all around; a chandelier-looking structure lit by fire went up next to the power station while a band played mellow folk music.

Just before the time of closure, we decided to visit the Tate Modern, which was to be open throughout the night, for the last viewing of Matisse's work. It was around midnight when we arrived; however, this Cinderella freaked out at the sight of the crowd at the exhibition at that time of night, and we all decided to grab a cappuccino and cake before heading home.

Watching the sunset while waiting.
Glorious! 

Battersea Power Station

 

Fire Garden

My mum's visit is impossible, so I got busy checking on my next destination before summer ends. I've been in London far too long.
My recent lessons... Take your time. Be aware of the signs and do your best.
Easy does it. 
More incredible things are to come... Live by that thought.