Oh My! Oh My!
On top of my head, there is... Every blessing possible to be grateful for.
It is not even hard work any longer to learn the path of acceptance and an automated understanding of the messages which come my way. My lesson of realisation now has been practising patience and being in the moment. God knows I thought patience was my second name, living under tyranny for a life sentence of twenty years with someone who is an extraordinary man in many ways, but basically, we were not meant for each other. Yet, how can I say that when my reason for being here is open to a world created by living a life of purpose and love? Unless we grew together to separate in peace and harmony, a state few couples can reach? It takes two to tango, and only God knows I wish Everyone happiness because the world has no shortage of indifference flying all around, meaningless relationships based on what looks right, not what feels good.
Let's face it: The rock bottom of my emotional ups and downs has been, believe it or not, not being able to drive! Now that I have my four wheels outside the door, life is yet again moving in the fast lane. Did I say fast?! Well, there are no cameras in the back streets, which I am very familiar with. Haha.
My conscience speaking to God:
God, in you I love, and in your love, I find joy on many levels. I talk to people randomly about allowing their accurate search to be for happiness within.
I am a God lover, and no one will ever be able to stain the purity in which he exists in my mind or in my life. I trust in him and give wholeheartedly with total awareness of being a solution-finder, rising above issues, and simply going with the flow.
Now ... Haldita has a b.b.b.b.boyfriend! Hence, Oh My!
The 'b' word is a new one that has been added to my dictionary in the past few weeks. Well, I did mention a Maximo in my last blog who has sometimes made me rest my elbow on the table, index finger on the mouth, wrist bent, eyes rolling up and think... Really?!
My life is so wonderfully perfect; don't let that word fool you into thinking perfect is one hundred per cent all around. Not at all! Ouuufff! Who are we kidding? I do not wish for that; life has taught me that in challenges, I thrive. Been watching videos on ninety-something-year-old ladies; one a yoga and dance teacher and others where you admire how they can boogie those arses off, which others would think 'should' be sitting on a sofa in front of a TV knitting. Some acts take great courage to overcome, such as letting go of fear and making changes.
Did my thoughts run away again? Or is that a question?!
Yes, back to Maximo. Well, what can I tell you? He tickles my fancy quite a lot!
Been advised to let it flow...
And who knows after?
I may get to glow!
Finally, a man who knows what he wants and can show it. Boy, did I doubt and question whether I am ready for this! Hell girl, I thought to myself, you have been single for twelve years! Apart from the 7/8 months period, I dated someone 'sensible'! But everyone he or I knew was aware that we could not have been more unsuited! Now, Even openly confessing my naughty past to Maximo, he did not seem threatened, and there was trust between us. It looks like a proper adult match, with talk of possibly more.
Meaning is what I asked the universe for, and it is flowing in my life,
Every way I look, every time I raise my hands to the Almighty,
Friends appear as raindrops to nourish this naked, dry soul,
As the colourful autumn leaves fall through a light breeze,
Dancing under the last of summer heat, feeling the air of a new season;
A new beginning.
The new woman in my life is the girl who has started helping me around my place; Otgoo. I have always been small on house duties! She is an absolute delight and caring. Of course, I miss Nolita, who has gone to build her new life in Sri Lanka, but we each have a path, and when they cross, may it be pleasant and goodbyes, only a temporary separation till we meet again. Otgoo's father only passed away a couple of nights ago, back in her homeland, but she asked to come to work today. She is here with her husband and young child and away from her dad. Since she had commented a few times on how she enjoys the House Chill-out music selection I play, I put on some music, and between my chores, we talked of the importance of realising your loved ones never actually leave your side. In fact, they are there every time you think of them and let them support you morally to get over life's hurdles. We are not here alone. I talk to God often and laugh with him when I think of the mad moments of my life. I sure ain't lost the plot! I have found myself and the God within.
Last Saturday, I just had to go to Fabric (Club) to dance again; my second home, as many call it! Brilliant!
That is my escape, where I get well greeted and welcomed with warm hugs. Decided to be sensible and take a cab to get there by 1:30am and stay in DJ booths with the lovely Lady Judes. I was standing behind a stage wall, watching the crowd below in a happy trance to the music of Thomas Paulsen while Judes chatted to the DJs from FUTURE to go next live on stage. No matter what state of mind, I am always aware of how blessed I am to live a life far beyond my wildest fantasies ever! If only you had any idea how helpless I felt in certain times of my life, how low and worthless I was, then realise what changes I had to make to get into this state of humble gratefulness.
For those who tell me, 'Haldita, it's easy for you to say/do', no honey bunches, I have had to learn, and as hard as it was adopting to boarding school and every part of my life that followed, I reached a state where feeling pain was no longer an option. There had to be another side to life. Change of path, change of plans.
The week has had its moments again. My sister Hala is in town, and for the first time since I separated twelve years ago, she is not staying with me at my place but with the lovely Lady Diba. It would be unfair if I said 'we' have not been in touch because Hala has; however, I am not in' reconciliation mode' until I feel a difference in her actions and words. By not disclosing any reasoning, it may sound selfish on my part. Actions speak louder than words, so I keep quiet and respectfully away for now. The reason for mentioning this is to go back to the complications that arise in relationships of any sort or kind. It is about two people; both parties must feel compatible on many levels. If it becomes a chore or hard work, it is best to detach oneself and see if the other party is willing to make any changes to drive the wheel of the relationship to a higher, more joyful all-around level. Otherwise, what is the use of living in an unhappy environment when it hurts or makes one question it all, where no one judges the other but enjoys the company of one another?
However, we did have a very pleasant evening out in the company of Lady Diba and Hala at a lavish dinner in one of London's finest eateries, followed by a hand at roulette. We met up over breakfast at our dear family friend's place, but we simply need to live separate lives for now. Time is all we need for revelations.
Anyway, in Fabric last Saturday, when we entered the DJ booths where Thomas Paulsen was playing great techno sounds, as I danced next to the lovely blond girl behind him (whom I gathered must be his girlfriend, Speil), we smiled at each other. She put her arms around my waist and visa versa while we danced. Special hugged me, and we began conversing under the loudspeakers above us! As we further bonded in the smoking area afterwards, Bergen was where Thomas was from; it was the only place in Norway I had visited. In fact, it was at Troy's invitation, and Hala and I went there. We had an unforgettable time in the company of Troy, staying at Vidar and Hanne's and being taken by boat to their holiday island home under cold, wet conditions at the end of August, being fed gourmet meals and getting better acquainted. Anyway, I invited Speil to accompany her man for an early evening visit to my place on Monday, and the couple accepted. Awesome!
They arrived to a sunny afternoon in the garden, sitting under the sun with Troy and his new puppy, Gin, along with Charlotte, who had offered to bring us her home cooking of delicious rice and broad beans mixed with dill weed and a melting lamb dish in a red sauce. Troy prepared a whole lot of starters from all the food already in my fridge!
A delightful evening of food, bonding and listening to music.
At Fabric, after dancing and mingling with a few, I also met three lovely guys from Poland and Israel; while joining them, sitting on the large ashtray in the form of an outdoor stoney ground full of cigarette ends and talked to them, again about anything and everything! Then, bumping into another adorable young buddy with a big hug on the dance floor. Life is what we make it out to be. Make sure you make the most of your moments, who knows what's round the corner? Right? When the early hours of the morning came in view through the lightening of the sky from indigo to different shades of blue and then grey on that occasion, after the closing hour of 8:00am, Judes asked me to join her for breakfast at Hotel Mal Maison round the corner, with three of the lively DJs from the night before. Detroit was the city most had flown in from.
Ok, I need to get packed; the hour reads 23:00 already!
It's Haldita and her boyfriend off to Tuscany next! An intriguing experience, no doubt.
Keep smiling loved ones, you look so much more gorgeous that way. (Repeat!)
Lori just sent me a video taken now, out and about in Marbella, with a message from her new friend; the mature lady holding a glass of wine in one hand says:
"Special people meet Special people".
On top of my head, there is... Every blessing possible to be grateful for.
It is not even hard work any longer to learn the path of acceptance and an automated understanding of the messages which come my way. My lesson of realisation now has been practising patience and being in the moment. God knows I thought patience was my second name, living under tyranny for a life sentence of twenty years with someone who is an extraordinary man in many ways, but basically, we were not meant for each other. Yet, how can I say that when my reason for being here is open to a world created by living a life of purpose and love? Unless we grew together to separate in peace and harmony, a state few couples can reach? It takes two to tango, and only God knows I wish Everyone happiness because the world has no shortage of indifference flying all around, meaningless relationships based on what looks right, not what feels good.
Let's face it: The rock bottom of my emotional ups and downs has been, believe it or not, not being able to drive! Now that I have my four wheels outside the door, life is yet again moving in the fast lane. Did I say fast?! Well, there are no cameras in the back streets, which I am very familiar with. Haha.
My conscience speaking to God:
God, in you I love, and in your love, I find joy on many levels. I talk to people randomly about allowing their accurate search to be for happiness within.
I am a God lover, and no one will ever be able to stain the purity in which he exists in my mind or in my life. I trust in him and give wholeheartedly with total awareness of being a solution-finder, rising above issues, and simply going with the flow.
Now ... Haldita has a b.b.b.b.boyfriend! Hence, Oh My!
The 'b' word is a new one that has been added to my dictionary in the past few weeks. Well, I did mention a Maximo in my last blog who has sometimes made me rest my elbow on the table, index finger on the mouth, wrist bent, eyes rolling up and think... Really?!
My life is so wonderfully perfect; don't let that word fool you into thinking perfect is one hundred per cent all around. Not at all! Ouuufff! Who are we kidding? I do not wish for that; life has taught me that in challenges, I thrive. Been watching videos on ninety-something-year-old ladies; one a yoga and dance teacher and others where you admire how they can boogie those arses off, which others would think 'should' be sitting on a sofa in front of a TV knitting. Some acts take great courage to overcome, such as letting go of fear and making changes.
Did my thoughts run away again? Or is that a question?!
Yes, back to Maximo. Well, what can I tell you? He tickles my fancy quite a lot!
Been advised to let it flow...
And who knows after?
I may get to glow!
Finally, a man who knows what he wants and can show it. Boy, did I doubt and question whether I am ready for this! Hell girl, I thought to myself, you have been single for twelve years! Apart from the 7/8 months period, I dated someone 'sensible'! But everyone he or I knew was aware that we could not have been more unsuited! Now, Even openly confessing my naughty past to Maximo, he did not seem threatened, and there was trust between us. It looks like a proper adult match, with talk of possibly more.
Meaning is what I asked the universe for, and it is flowing in my life,
Every way I look, every time I raise my hands to the Almighty,
Friends appear as raindrops to nourish this naked, dry soul,
As the colourful autumn leaves fall through a light breeze,
Dancing under the last of summer heat, feeling the air of a new season;
A new beginning.
The new woman in my life is the girl who has started helping me around my place; Otgoo. I have always been small on house duties! She is an absolute delight and caring. Of course, I miss Nolita, who has gone to build her new life in Sri Lanka, but we each have a path, and when they cross, may it be pleasant and goodbyes, only a temporary separation till we meet again. Otgoo's father only passed away a couple of nights ago, back in her homeland, but she asked to come to work today. She is here with her husband and young child and away from her dad. Since she had commented a few times on how she enjoys the House Chill-out music selection I play, I put on some music, and between my chores, we talked of the importance of realising your loved ones never actually leave your side. In fact, they are there every time you think of them and let them support you morally to get over life's hurdles. We are not here alone. I talk to God often and laugh with him when I think of the mad moments of my life. I sure ain't lost the plot! I have found myself and the God within.
Last Saturday, I just had to go to Fabric (Club) to dance again; my second home, as many call it! Brilliant!
That is my escape, where I get well greeted and welcomed with warm hugs. Decided to be sensible and take a cab to get there by 1:30am and stay in DJ booths with the lovely Lady Judes. I was standing behind a stage wall, watching the crowd below in a happy trance to the music of Thomas Paulsen while Judes chatted to the DJs from FUTURE to go next live on stage. No matter what state of mind, I am always aware of how blessed I am to live a life far beyond my wildest fantasies ever! If only you had any idea how helpless I felt in certain times of my life, how low and worthless I was, then realise what changes I had to make to get into this state of humble gratefulness.
For those who tell me, 'Haldita, it's easy for you to say/do', no honey bunches, I have had to learn, and as hard as it was adopting to boarding school and every part of my life that followed, I reached a state where feeling pain was no longer an option. There had to be another side to life. Change of path, change of plans.
The week has had its moments again. My sister Hala is in town, and for the first time since I separated twelve years ago, she is not staying with me at my place but with the lovely Lady Diba. It would be unfair if I said 'we' have not been in touch because Hala has; however, I am not in' reconciliation mode' until I feel a difference in her actions and words. By not disclosing any reasoning, it may sound selfish on my part. Actions speak louder than words, so I keep quiet and respectfully away for now. The reason for mentioning this is to go back to the complications that arise in relationships of any sort or kind. It is about two people; both parties must feel compatible on many levels. If it becomes a chore or hard work, it is best to detach oneself and see if the other party is willing to make any changes to drive the wheel of the relationship to a higher, more joyful all-around level. Otherwise, what is the use of living in an unhappy environment when it hurts or makes one question it all, where no one judges the other but enjoys the company of one another?
However, we did have a very pleasant evening out in the company of Lady Diba and Hala at a lavish dinner in one of London's finest eateries, followed by a hand at roulette. We met up over breakfast at our dear family friend's place, but we simply need to live separate lives for now. Time is all we need for revelations.
Anyway, in Fabric last Saturday, when we entered the DJ booths where Thomas Paulsen was playing great techno sounds, as I danced next to the lovely blond girl behind him (whom I gathered must be his girlfriend, Speil), we smiled at each other. She put her arms around my waist and visa versa while we danced. Special hugged me, and we began conversing under the loudspeakers above us! As we further bonded in the smoking area afterwards, Bergen was where Thomas was from; it was the only place in Norway I had visited. In fact, it was at Troy's invitation, and Hala and I went there. We had an unforgettable time in the company of Troy, staying at Vidar and Hanne's and being taken by boat to their holiday island home under cold, wet conditions at the end of August, being fed gourmet meals and getting better acquainted. Anyway, I invited Speil to accompany her man for an early evening visit to my place on Monday, and the couple accepted. Awesome!
They arrived to a sunny afternoon in the garden, sitting under the sun with Troy and his new puppy, Gin, along with Charlotte, who had offered to bring us her home cooking of delicious rice and broad beans mixed with dill weed and a melting lamb dish in a red sauce. Troy prepared a whole lot of starters from all the food already in my fridge!
A delightful evening of food, bonding and listening to music.
At Fabric, after dancing and mingling with a few, I also met three lovely guys from Poland and Israel; while joining them, sitting on the large ashtray in the form of an outdoor stoney ground full of cigarette ends and talked to them, again about anything and everything! Then, bumping into another adorable young buddy with a big hug on the dance floor. Life is what we make it out to be. Make sure you make the most of your moments, who knows what's round the corner? Right? When the early hours of the morning came in view through the lightening of the sky from indigo to different shades of blue and then grey on that occasion, after the closing hour of 8:00am, Judes asked me to join her for breakfast at Hotel Mal Maison round the corner, with three of the lively DJs from the night before. Detroit was the city most had flown in from.
Ok, I need to get packed; the hour reads 23:00 already!
It's Haldita and her boyfriend off to Tuscany next! An intriguing experience, no doubt.
Keep smiling loved ones, you look so much more gorgeous that way. (Repeat!)
Lori just sent me a video taken now, out and about in Marbella, with a message from her new friend; the mature lady holding a glass of wine in one hand says:
"Special people meet Special people".
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