Chickpeas and Cookies during Corona!

It goes without saying that my thoughts get diverted, at times, towards the suffering caused by corona, but I keep telling myself, this too shall pass, and life goes on. We each have a story and go through various cycles at different times. Recently, the central part of the news has been based on a C-worded letter that has occupied all our time and energy with the madness surrounding it.

And my Corona story goes...

I travelled to Goa in India at the end of January 2020, as I have done for the past five years. After the health scares of earlier months, the Goa trip accelerated the healing process. Morning yoga classes with Jo, the afternoons lying under a pergola on the beach accompanied by sis Hala and friends we made on previous visits there, healthy delicious food, away from any stress and overthinking was everything the doctor advised. We still managed to dance under the stars at the Ecstatic Dance. On my last day, the 1st of March, I was introduced to Watsu, which is Shiatsu (a form of massage from Japan that supports the body's natural ability to self-heal); only Watsu takes place in water. 

Glowing with youth, with shoulder-length hair, big blue eyes, and a tender smile, Mitch, the therapist, awaited me on the beach. The sky was semi-cloudy, unlike other days. We sat on the calming warmth of the grey sand, and he explained the process of floating at sea while holding me from beneath. He spoke gently and mentioned the spirit of my father and mother, who have both passed. The tears began to fall uncontrollably. Laying face-up on the water in the Arabian Sea, Mitch moved my body, swaying like a boneless fish in the water. When he pulled me underwater and held me by the ankles, with eyes half-open, I could see the bubbles floating out of my mouth into the blue sea. It felt like being in the womb again. Not that I remember the first time. He had told me to completely let go. I recall holding him around the neck at some stage and sobbing. He was my mother and father, and I have been blessed with so much love. The tears were simply a sign of missing them on Earth.

The session ended with Mitch laying me on the sand with my eyes shut; he covered me top to toe with a thin cotton-white sheet. As he spoke or sang, I imagined a white light all around. When I finally opened my eyes, his angelic face with the sweetest smile shone above, in front of a cloudy sky in the background. I said surprisingly with a cheeky smile: 

"Goodness! Are you Jesus?!"

Returning to London on the 2nd of March was the beginning of Covid for me. Keeping away from the media in Goa was easy, so I continued with a similar vibration in the city. The world had shut down, and it was clearly time for reflection. I was blessed with a roof over my head and enough means to carry on without worry. Online slow flow and kundalini yoga classes, a month of dancing daily with friends on Zoom to Bob Sinclar playing on Facebook, going for walks in parks, social distancing with a couple of friends and taking up cookery again kept me relatively sane. I did have a go at baking but decided to avoid that department as I have a sweet tooth, and sugar is the worst legal drug in almost everything we eat. Yet, no one warns us of the health hazards it actually causes. 

Burning sage around my apartment in the invitation to joy and positive vibes while shooing away any negativity. I read happy articles and avoided watching the news as I have done for almost two decades now. Fear is not healthy. The summer of 2020 in London was kind to us weatherwise. So, I partook in gardening, prepared healthy lunches of varied salads, and sat in the garden to eat them under the shade of the olive trees. They may not produce much olive in this climate, but they look good all year round. Keeping a positive mind, I talked to friends and found subjects to laugh about. There is always much to be grateful for if we look in the right direction.

In looking inside the soul, there were, of course, moments of loneliness. Missing that human touch and the face-to-face chats with loved ones. As it happens, the Universe sent a lover to my door. Haha. The two weeks of lust and fun were great for what it was. But often, after passion comes the comedown. Lust is like a drug; once you feel it, you want more. Yet, I knew from the start it was not going anywhere and that this would pass in time. Or, another one has gone to dust. C'est la vie! 

When the daily, smiley one-hour dance sessions gradually ended, again, there was a void where the intense joy had turned into the silence of another day passing by. I wanted to dance again. 

I found joy in gardening and trying out different recipes. One thing I learned to make at home was hummus—chickpeas and tahini, basically! But boy, was it messy! The dried chickpeas took forever to cook in boiling water. Phew. Humus made by supermarkets is good enough, I decided. The hash cookies, however, turned out pretty good. 

We are so obsessed with learning, knowledge, and news that it constantly occupies our whole being. Sometimes, it is good not to learn. It is okay not to be okay. For peace of mind, get writing. Pick up a pen and paper.

Firstly, WHAT is making me ANXIOUS?

Secondly, WHAT has caused me pain and HOW?

Thirdly, what excites me?

These Covid times have had an effect on everyone. The youth are concerned with their future, and the elders are lonely, being told this is for their benefit. What is life about? It is to be lived, not imprisoned in our homes, and to be away from any human interaction. Who makes these rules? I question our leaders and their actions constantly. Politics seems like a dirty business that is far from the good of mankind. My most significant learning after forgiveness and self-love has been letting go of fear. Liberating my mind of expectations, accepting whatever life throws my way, and patiently waiting for any outcome. 

I travelled to Portugal with Sis at the beginning of November and attended Jade's engagement, an intimate gathering of her close friends in the mountains. The theme was Alice in Wonderland! The four-day event was simply out of this world. The Mad Hatters Tea Party began at 16:00 hour and ended at six in the morning. Need I say more? The music played by several DJs gave way to hours of dancing and socialising. It was so good to be amongst like-minded people who were just as pleased to be interacting with one another. I spent a week with my Girl and her friends in the Algarve, Southern Portugal, and when I returned to London, the loneliness of the past few months was cured. 

Another travel awaits. I'm going to a destination that is home to me yet dangerous to most worldly travellers. Keep safe, everyone. 

Love 

Haldita

 

The white heron and the white bull - Goa

Life is a school we attend throughout our physical time on Earth. 

From what I have learned, we are here in this physical form by choice. And although it's often hard to believe, considering all the trials and heartaches we endure, the question arises... 'Seriously? I chose this?' Yet, life is a school, and the faster we learn its lessons - especially the art of letting go of pain and heartache, the better our journey becomes. It's challenging, no doubt, but we have a choice: to rise and grow or to sink under the weight of it all.

Once more, I escaped the London winter blues last February and travelled to India to join Sis Hala for some sun and fun. Our yoga teacher, Joe, could not make it over this time, and the search for a replacement led us to Raj, a serene man whose daily practice unfolded in a large tent draped with see-through orange and green netting. One morning, as I prepared for our session, my eyes drifted to a lush green field ahead where something magical caught my attention.

(and noticed a white heron elegantly posing on the neck of a white bull. The site resembled a surreal painting enlivened with the melody of the birds and the gentle sound of the leaves swaying swiftly to the breeze. It was as though the two were deep in conversation, not by any sound but by flowing energies.) 

There, under the open sky, stood a majestic white bull and perched gracefully on its neck was a white heron. The scene before me seemed like something from a dream, almost too surreal to be real. The melody of the birds filled the air, and the breeze gently stirred the leaves. The two animals stood still, as if locked in a conversation, not through words or sounds but through an invisible exchange of energy, a silent communication. 

As I moved through the yoga poses, I couldn't take my eyes off them. The bull, with its strong, grounding presence, barely moved the entire session and the heron remained poised, a figure of grace and balance. The questions that surfaced in my mind were endless. Was this a form of companionshipt? Could two such different creatures form a bond? What could they be sharing in their stillness? Weather gossip, perhaps, or something far deeper - an understanding of the world that transcends words? The only thing that made sense was the profound peace they embodied. That moment, witnessing the bull and the heron together, felt like an invitation to recognise the quiet beauty in simply being present. No noise, no distractions, just existing side by side, as if teaching me that sometimes, connection doesn't need words at all. It made me reflect - aren't we too, nature's creatures, seeking that same peace in our connections, whether with others or within ourselves?

On other days, the heron would stand beside the bull, sometimes on a rock, facing each other. They would remain like that for hours, the heron flying off briefly only to return to its silent companion. Their relationship fascinated me. The bull, a symbol of strength and stability, seemed content to share its space with the heron, a creature of lightness and flight. Together, they created a balance that I found hard to look away from, so much so that I often struggled to focus on my downward dog. 

Now, back in London, as I sit wrapped in a soft blanket, listening to the rain tap agains the glass, I can't help but long for that warmth again - not just the heat of the Indian sun but the warmth of connection, of being held against another body. The longing for the embrace of a man flickers in my mind, but it comes with too much baggage, so I let the thought drift away, focusing instead on the sunshine. 

It's funny how moments like that, of stillness, of simplicity, remain with you long after they pass. They teach us that peace isn't something we have to chase. Sometimes, it's found in simply existing alongside another without needing anything more. The bull and the heron showe me that. I wrote this blog last year and never posted it. Writer's block, like a travel ban, lifted from my mind today, and I feel free to share once again. 

Writing down your thoughts and feelings is therapeutic. I recommend it to everyone I meet. Stay as positive as you can, even when life feels heavy. This, too, shall pass. 

Holiday Blues, sometimes orange, other times a rainbow!

Finally, I have surpassed my writing block! You know, it comes and goes. Let's see.
Gosh. It has been too long since I was on here. But I have gathered enough experiences to be ready to share again. 

Here is a mild start...

So, after a series of miss-haps, in the name of a TIA or a mini-stroke and ear blockage, which resulted in me being carried by ambulance to the A&E for the second time, life presented a new meaning to me. A trip I was planning in November 2019 was delayed due to health issues, and the decision to stay home in London was inevitable. 

You know, when you are truly grateful as I am every second of the day, you manage to figure shit out! As John Lennon finely quoted: "Everything will be okay in the end; if it's not okay, it's not the end." And goodness, it was only months ago that I celebrated my 60th birthday at my favourite London spot, Fabric Club, at a rave. I couldn't wait to announce my new, delicious, ripened age to everyone by singing, "I'm sixty, and I know it!" If I can help it, I ain't going nowhere on a galaxy visit so soon. Haha

After numerous blood tests, from one doctor or specialist's visit to another, seeing a healer or two, an osteo craniosacral and ending up in an alternative clinic, the moral of the story I figured out was... my issue was not about Ecstasy or weed, I do know my limits, but it was bloody SUGAR! Can you believe it? It was sugar and any food that turns into sugar in the blood, as in white flour, fried food, sugar, of course, and alcohol, which I only drank socially and not often. I am usually the girl with a bottle or glass of water.

I saw a naturopath who presented me with a healthy diet and supplements, listened to the advice of my new friend, the craniosacral therapist, and took a five-week holiday to Goa, India, at the end of January. My sis Hala joined me at our favourite winter spot, and we spent four weeks together in harmony, gratitude and joy. I shut the world outside and all its noise off like a switch and concentrated on my well-being and observing beauty in the simplicity of life. It is as close a state as one can get to Bliss. 

Joined by friends, men and women from all corners of the world, our usual yearly gathering with friends we had made since we began going brought all the magic. This was our fifth year to go back and boost our physical and mental system in the unquestionable flow of life that happens in Goa. Let go and let it be. Fabulous. 

The five weeks are over, and I am back in London. I must add rain and grey London, which resembles the holiday blues. So, to cheer myself up, after my boxing session with the trainer, I drove to Richmond Park for a rendezvous in the restaurant set amongst the lush greenery with a slightly older, charming Englishman. Oh! And good-looking, too! We hit it off immediately and started chatting like two old friends in the busy restaurant. Our afternoon conversation was sweetened by some sophisticated flirting! Mmmm... Grey skies and the pouring rain soon turned into noticing the spring pink flowers planted under the sash window where our table sat. The day sure brightened up, or was it the date? 

Listen, if you don't brighten your day, no one else will do it for you. Stop listening to the news and reading about Corona and this and that. Politics sucks! Find something that makes you happy. Watch a comedy. Read an uplifting article. Make love. Make peace. And always be kind. 

I am back! And there will be loads of leanings and fabulous stories to share... soon.