Serious matters.

I drove to visit my sick friend who had the over-friendly flu which has got a large percentage of the population ill in this city and everywhere. Don't these viruses get worse and stronger every year?

"I've something to tell you Haldita.  Please close the door." Gina whispered. "I'm pregnant!"
The sudden news of Gina's pregnancy came as a shock.
"Whattttt?" Was my immediate response.  "Are you sure darling?"
What a question to ask! No, she is just kiddin'. So to tell you a little about Gina; she is another one of my many twenty-something-year-old friends who is bright, holds a good job, has a good family and is well-travelled.

Of the more sensible questions, I asked: "Does George know? How is he by the way?"
"Oh!  We broke up the week before." Gina said with an expression of open eyes, slightly biting her lower lip on one side, bending her head to the other and pulling her shoulders up as in 'what to do'.
I looked at Albert across the room, who in turn shook his head in confirmation.
"Were you feeling sick at all?" I felt the need to ask the appropriate questions.
"Just a little,"  Gina replied.
"Have you talked to George since? Are you gonna tell him?" Couldn't stop the questions following.
Gina replied: "No.  We broke up and no, I shan't tell him. Not now anyway. Perhaps in years to come if we decided to stay friends."
"You know," I continued. "I always wondered how I'd react, had I got pregnant from someone I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with. What's the right thing to do? What rights has the 'father' towards the decision of keeping the child?"
"Yes, I know what you mean," were Gina's words. "Had we been together, I'd felt obliged to tell him.  But since we have broken up, there's no point.  I'm not ready for a child."

Albert who had been there discussing the matter with Gina before I arrived, had a say: "If you wanted to keep the child, I'd say go ahead and have it. But since you don't, abortion is the only way."
Gina turned to me and asked: "Haldita, what's your opinion on abortion? Do you think it's wrong?"
"No way Darling.  It's like taking out a tooth." I said.
"But... there's a lot of emotion involved,"  we said simultaneously.
"Yes, but it's a hard one." Gina was in deep thought.
"It's as hard as you make it out to be. As in everything else in life." That was my input.

I continued: "The times I was growing up, this was a major issue. Most girls would have to hide any news of pregnancy and some got up to dangerous ways of getting rid of their offspring. In some countries, the fact of losing one's virginity was a major family disgrace, let alone being pregnant with a bastard!"
"Nowadays, with women having stronger roles and say in society, they also have a choice. And why would one bring a child into this world with a doubt in their mind? The world's hard enough as it is. I personally have no problem with abortion. Even if only one of the parents isn't ready." I rested my case knowing that I still have no idea how I would have reacted, had the situation arisen.

Albert then said: "We were watching a program on teenage pregnancy before you arrived, Haldita. It was sadly hysterical. These young girls 13, 14, and 15 years of age were pregnant and they showed the fathers who were present. One 22-year-old couch potato in one instance, who laid around, jobless and clueless!"
"And this was just one of them," Gina picked up. "The girls were from middle-class families, who went to college and had plans for their future, only too young for motherhood. But the guys were a disaster! They were clearly not ready for what was to come."

My last words on this... Don't keep an unwanted child. The wanted ones have enough issues growing up. And this is just my opinion. You are absolutely entitled to yours and would love to hear them if anyone cared to comment here!

My mother would say:
"What's abortion for if you've issues about bringing them onto this troubled world?"
As she believes: "What's divorce for if two people don't get on! Should they destroy each other for a mistake they made earlier in life?"
And: "What's marriage for, except for a damn signature to help make two people miserable in the belief of possessing one another?!"
I Guess Mum gets her points across well but I like being a romantic and believing in the reverie of love and romance; even if as a childlike fantasy. I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

I did however, tell my kids in later years, perhaps around 10 years old, not to believe in the stories of Cinderella and Snow White etc and 'The Prince Charming' riding on a horse... as they were only 'fiction'. The fact that marriage is a 'happily ever after' thing... Is just a story, it doesn't quite happen that way in real life! But for the 'very' few. Be prepared for reality!

As for the controversy against gay couples adopting babies, I had to give the matter some thought when it made the headlines.
To think in 'real' terms, it came to my attention that through observation of gay couple friends, they have been kind, over-friendly, live well, look after themselves, and most of them quite articulate. And they absolutely get attached to their pets. All this puts them in a 'caring' category of parenthood as to some straight parents. I did say some. And if it is the sexual worry of gay men with younger boys... It seems this could happen in the church and I am only being truthful from what I keep hearing through distasteful jokes etc over the years. It also happens within families, where the uncle or the stepfather etc disturbingly continues years of sexual abuse and hidden encounters with the young children in the family. These situations sadly happen everywhere but they are tabooed... Not many, still at this age, care to bring them up.

Last but not least, why do parents behave so irrationally at times? As do children?
What effect do the mother and father's constant quarrels have on children growing up?
Why do we put ourselves and our youngsters through torment? What makes 'rappers' so angry as to want to shout in aggression about family abuse, beating of the mother, and constant rows with words of hatred from parent and child alike? And what... But what can be done to help?

I shall get back to the subject of parenthood and children. How we could work on those relationships.

Here are further major subjects which I feel are neglected and tabooed by society and especially governments all over, which I would love to bring to your attention.

Shall we discuss Sex,

Drugs,

And Rock & Roll?

Mental illness,

Pharmaceuticals

How have governments messed up our planet so hopelessly?

Menopause.

The subjects are endless.

Words... from the heart

I sat in the writing course... (Oh!  Mustn't forget to mention that I was early and the first one to arrive for both Saturday and Sunday morning classes) and what a pleasure it was to spend two absolutely fulfilling days in the company of intelligent, witty writers with individuality in each of their skilled methods of wording.

I just have to thank our most gracious teacher; Victoria for making her classes such a pleasure to attend.  Never imagined classes can be so much fun!  Also for introducing a fellow powerful writer,  could we say 'writers'? We did say almost 'anything goes in writing'! Perhaps I am pushing it too far!  Just my character.
As for the inspirational meeting with Bernardine, your encouragement is much appreciated.

Salar and I were chatting online the night before the workshop and he wrote:
"What's your plan this weekend?"
"I'm so excited.  It's not Fabric.  Going to a writing course!" I said with a big smile on my face.
"I'm reading your blog. You don't need lessons. Just write." Salar is so cute.
"Lessons are precious. If you can add to your knowledge, learn the lesson... And learn it well." I said this as I try to overcome my obstacles of... Well, actually, I don't do obstacles. If my heart is there, I follow my dreams... As and when.
And thank you Salar for your kind words. You are adorable.

My first poem tonight, since I last wrote at the age of sweet 16.

You said I love you
I rushed to the streets
The walled room would have prevented me from flying

The Magic in Nature...

Ok... Where are my glasses? Oh! On top of my head. Good start.

I experienced an extraordinary site yesterday from my bedroom 'to floor' window which opens to a balcony that I can only describe as the 'Romeo and Juliet balcony'... Alas, my Romeo has not arrived...  Yet! It is necessary to live with high hopes.

These were my feelings at the time.
My goodness, it is absolutely pissing down with rain here on this autumn, picturesque London afternoon.
I opened the windows to watch the rain, pouring down buckets or better still as though an ocean has opened from the grey cloudy sky above.  The auburn, yellow, orange and some still green leaves which are left on the branches, are fighting for their last days of life on the trees before being absorbed into the muddy grass.  The rain was so strong with a gust of wind blowing the leaves straight to the ground from the force of the pouring heavenly waters.

My thoughts diverted to the poor souls out there in this weather ...  The cyclists, the mothers picking up their springs at school, anyone out there who had to walk under this heavy storm.
"But Dear Lord,"  I asked, looking up at the grey sky, in the cosiness and warmth of my boudoir.  "How are these people coping with such an unpredictable blast?"
Sometimes there are no satisfying answers to the questions we wonder about and ask.

We get mad ...  We shout and behave at times 'totally out of character' ...  Oh yes ...  We all do.
Perhaps nature has a human temperament, as do animals, and behaves accordingly.  It is a pattern that obviously differs from nature to human to animal but the explanation of nature going mad as we do, makes sense.  It does to me anyway.

As my wandering mind was enjoying the sight of the falling rain, I looked further left and ...  To my total astonishment... Patches of blue, but I mean very blue sky appeared through the light, white clouds.
Absolute magic.
The sun is out.
The clouds are fast disappearing in front of my wide-open eyes.
The birds are singing.
The sirens of police cars and ambulances are fast disappearing as the clouds did.
Oops! Wait a minute... There is one other siren being heard in a far distance. Well, life does go on and on.

The message to me all day was... Despite sunshine or rain... Be thoughtful and smile.
I made a 'triste', sad (was showing off my French there! haha), rainy day into the sunshine and the sun literally shone upon us all.  I also made another pact with myself... don't let the weather rule your life!  Take charge and make the best of whatever nature throws at you... with grace.
And today, I walked under the rain; all prepared; in mind as clothing... and it was fun!

Through the self-development courses I did, there was one apparent factor as to how to obtain a state of being... As in how to keep the happiness going... Repetition.
If I keep repeating the words... Smile, Love, Laughter, Joy, Happiness. It is the most therapeutic way of releasing my emotions through words that could hopefully in return bring on the same feeling to anyone who wishes to read them.
No matter how many 'feel good' books we all read, there are never enough words to satisfy our thirst for finding that happiness we truly deserve.
My advice to you is... Never and I mean never give up!
Think well and think high... But think Good things.  Simple... Good or Great.

That's all folks! I just Love Buggs Bunny.
I'm gonna download some photos from my Rio trip now.
Tomorrow is another weekend of a writing course and a gathering on Saturday night with friends.  

Ciao for now

I go where the current flow of life takes me... Sintra, took my breath away!

My story is forever based on believing... and Hope.

It's been quiet moments after the family left. There is a void temporarily in my being which I cherish as much as the joy of being surrounded by loving family and friends.  Reality is reality, nothing can be done about it. Only to face it, accept it and let it go. We each have different paths to lead.

I have lived a life in the fast lane for so many years and still do, which I hope will go on for as long as I shall live, but for now it is the appreciation of the time I spent alone... Me, myself and I, reflect on all the past. Good and bad. Happy and sad. What have I learnt? It's like putting issues on a scale and weighing them up and down. And... Making the necessary changes. Solitude, walking in the streets, through the parks, is another form of meditation. I try to put matters in perspective and give credit when due. It is not my stubbornness that comes in the way, because I know there is a good trait in there! But I call upon the angels to help me with my decisions, in terms of thinking real and pure. Life takes its course. Some things are best left aside till further notice.

Now... Let me take you to one of the most romantic places I have been.
About two years ago, Heidi called to ask me if I would join her, Berto (her husband), Anna and a couple (their friends) on a trip to Lisbon.
"Baby, you've to come.  It's my birthday," she pleaded with persistence.
"I've never been to Portugal." And of course, I agreed to go.

We spent a splendid two days exploring the historical city of Lisbon.
The first sunny day, we took a taxi to Rossio; one of the city's main squares since the Middle Ages!

Walking through the pedestrianised shopping streets, we saw the 'Elevador de Santa Justa.  Constructed by 1902; originally powered by steam, then converted to electrical operation in 1907.

We walked up a hill to get to the Castle of Sao Jorge.
It became the Royal palace in 1255, renovated around 1300 by King Dinis I.
The castle's period of neglect then came to an end, after two major earthquakes in 1531 and 1788, when a well-needed extensive renovation was undertaken in the 1940's.

For such a small capital city, the sites to visit were endless.

One evening, dinner was at The Hard Rock Cafe, with a car hanging upside down, almost on the high ceiling!

After dinner, we visited the nightclub by the river called 'Luxe'.
Very elegantly decorated on two floors with different djs playing on each level.
Heidi and Berto being newly weds, were all smooched up. Anna and I wondered around until I found myself lost on the dance floor. Fine by me. I continued people watching and dancing.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted a table of about 8 men in a celebration of some sort. As I watched, one of the men spank the other on the left cheek bottom, they noticed me and  their stare turned my way, smiling at their action. So... I had to intervene.
I got closer and through a gesture of a slapping hand in the air, asked if I could do the same!
Ayayaya... They looked delighted by the idea and the good-looking trendy man in a white shirt and jeans offered the left cheek of his bottom by bending close to me. It was not to be missed.
I spanked him gently.
"Harder. Harder." Came the shout of his companions all gathered around, thrilled as 'school boys'.
So I hit harder.
"Now my turn." Offered the cheeky victim.
I gathered he meant, his turn to spank me! Oh dear, Haldita. What situations do I get myself into?!
Guess fair is fair. Had to pay my dues.
The same man then came closer and offering his body said: "You can do anything you want to me now."
With all the ideas going through my naughty mind, I put my right hand under his loose white shirt and tickled his stomach, going up to his chest.
His mates were all clapping with excitement!

At this stage, I heard my name being called.
"Haldita... Haldita. What's happening? Let's go." Heidi was there to save me from further mischief.
It was time to go and I was dragged out of there, sulking as a child, leaving her playmates behind. 

On the last day of our visit, we drove to Sintra, half an hour from Lisbon. I had no idea of the state of reverie this place was going to take me! The magnificence of 'Quinta da Regaleira'.

The origins of this Quinta (palace and estate) date back to 1697, when Jose Leite purchased the tract of land at the old quarter of Sintra. Through the decades, it passed hand in hand.

At the beginning of this century, Carvalho Monteiro, a man of great culture with a law degree, invited Luigi Manini, a great Italian architect (1848-1936) to design and build the house at Regaleira.

A fabulous assemblage of styles and constructions of gardens, wells, towers, statues, mysterious grottoes with exceptional characteristics gave an air of magic to the whole surround.

The project was completed in 1910 by Manini.
The Quinta da Regaleira was purchased in March 1997 by the Sintra Town Council to be opened to visitors.

There was an element of surprise on every corner we turned. A memorable day, repeated ten months later with Sinalda. I had to go back and feel the magic of the place again.

Before I leave, the words of a friend touched me deeply today. He wrote to me...
'To combine passion with imagination and curiosity can be electric.'

RESPECT

I have nothing to hide behind... My shield is my love... It comes with respect. There are always boundaries; however large or small. Don't unduly step out of your boundary or I bite! How do I bite? I go silent and disappear as fast as I appeared.

Every situation or person is placed on our paths with a purpose. It may be to strengthen you, offer you an opportunity to resolve or forgive the past, give you an idea in the spare of the moment which could be life-changing, love you for who you are... and on and on. Concentrate on making your life purpose, your goal... Peace and Happiness. Bring on your own joy; live a life of satisfaction and fulfilment. It's not that difficult, I promise. At least... Try!
I went to my second fencing lesson last week with a different attitude.
'This is gonna be good.'
'I'll concentrate on having fun, no need to conquer. Learn technic and enjoy!' The only way forward.
And as it turned out, I did enjoy my class. Julianna the teacher asked if I had been practicing at home!
Sure... Not! Nevertheless, I am grateful she insisted that I join.

It is all about one's attitude. Having said that... There is a, however!

What is loyalty?  In this modern age, the good old values of human behaviour are fast being replaced by greed, more than ever.  It is easy to meet people and want to believe they come from a good place within. However, there are always those who are opportunists. They will be your friend when it suits them, only to sell that friendship at a drop of a hat to the next possible buyer. As though, the rules of the jungle have reversed. Animals are getting tamed and as for us humans... the law of the jungle rules!  I guess we are animals after all.

Money talks amongst most. It gives power and boosts the ego of those who constantly have a need to prove themselves to others. I have no agenda against wealth. Nor against capitalism.  Some of the most giving and generous people are amongst those well-to-do people. What I am getting at, is Respect with a capital R.

You know how it is, when you need a message, it comes to you through a page in a book or the words of a song? We went to Supperclub again on Friday with Connor and a dear friend we met through him; Shane. Shane had been away, on a long hike, visiting an orphanage in the Everest base camp.
"Can't wait to hear about your trip," I said impatiently.
"It was definitely enjoyable. The trek was challenging both physically and mentally and I did suffer from altitude sickness. But seeing the smile on those young faces, was most rewarding."  Answered Shane very modestly.
"That's why they chew those coca leaves in South America." Hala continued: "They brought us coca tea as soon as we sat to rest while trekking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. It helped me immensely with the altitude."

Life is not all about taking, we have to give something back.
Well done to you Shane.

We spent a pleasurable evening dancing and I kept bumping into friends unexpectedly. It was like having a party 'chez moi'! A big thanks to dear Jeremy who makes me feel so at home there.

Now to get back to my point... As the last song to end the evening, the DJ played Aretha Franklin's song; respect. 'All I want is a little respect'. Due to its popularity, in the 1970s, Franklin's version of the song came to exemplify the feminist movement.

It is easy to wrong others for our shortcomings. But before you judge, gossip or make someone wrong, stop for a moment and think whether you yourself have not acted in a similar way, given the chance at some stage in your life? I got judged recently by a friend who made me wrong for something she does constantly... A very personal matter which is of no hurt to anyone, it puzzled and upset me. Then came on the song... 'Respect' and that is all I am asking... Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's all about Respect. Especially to our elders.

Saturday was fireworks at Battersea Park to celebrate Guy Fawkes Night which is an annual celebration held primarily around 5 November in Great Britain. A group of us gathered to watch the display across the Thames with thousands of spectators lining up all along. The traffic was at a standstill and the fireworks were splendid. Watching it always makes me feel like a happy child.

We came home for a rest before Hala and I headed to meet up with old and new friends, yet again, at our favourite club. What a special night with Luciano; the fabulous DJ blowing our minds with his music. The house DJs Terry Francis and Craig Richard were outstanding too.  Oh, what a night!

Angel, my mum and Hala were leaving on Sunday. I don't like saying goodbyes. We have spent a very precious time together.

It pays off to try and work out any family issues. It is my biggest reward in life, to be close to 'loved' ones.

A visit to sunny Israel...

How about taking you on an adventure, on a trip...

It was a few years ago in November that we were thinking of a destination to visit, to top up our tan and soak up more sun before winter hit us. Hala went holiday hunting and returned home with a smile and said: "Hey Sis, I've a great idea for our autumn sun and exercise with Club Med at their resort in Eilat."
"Hala, you mean Eilat as in Israel?" I questioned.
"Yes. As you can be fussy, Linda at Club Med reassured me that the place has been newly refurbished and it'll be still warm at this time of year to swim comfortably." Hala was persistent.
"Then, brilliant darling. Let's do it." My mind can be so easily set with fresh ideas.
But I was not quite settled into the idea as we did not know anyone there. So, I went online to check out the resort. While doing so, the naughtiness took the better of me and I drifted the mouse to an online dating site for Israel. Oh Oh!

Going through a few profiles and photos, I made a selection and contacted a couple of guys who in turn got back. One was Haim in Eilat and the other Yuri in Tel Aviv.
Haim seemed to be simple, straightforward and 'nice'. Not quite one to stimulate the mind but pleasant enough to perhaps meet.
Chatting to Yuri, on the other hand, was fun and exciting. He was sharp. Here is how.

Texting to and fro.
Yuri: "Can you send a recent photo?"
Me: "Is it my body or my face you are after?"
Yuri: "Neither... It's your wit I'm after!"
Me: "Baby... That's not gonna come out in a photo!"
Yuri: "It's in the eyes."

Mmmm... I thought. Now this is up my valley.
Before taking off, our ongoing texting continued.
Yuri: "Are you getting ready?"
Me: "If u mean for u...  No need to get... I am ready. But how do we meet when you are in Tel Aviv and I'm in Eilat?"
Yuri: "We'll sort something out."

Upon arrival at Ovda airport; a large warehouse-type of building, in the middle of the desert on the border with Egypt and Jordan, Hala and I were questioned by the customs for two and a half hours while other travellers made their way out. The same questions were asked over and over again by two big, tough young ladies followed by their chief, a harsh-looking older man with not a trace of a smile on his face, who came to us and said finally: "We were going to send you back but there are no more flights for today, so we shall let you in. We called you another taxi. But for now, you have to go and wait outside as we're closing the airport and all leaving now."
How gracious!
Grrrrreat... Thanks, buddy!
The sun was setting behind the hills. A mini-bus pulled outside the fenced area as we watched in disbelief, sitting on our suitcases in total bewilderment, as the staff left the vicinity. It was just Sis and I, on a hill, with miles of desertland around us and oh, with the border of Jordan in sight. 

"If only our friends could see us now! We're mad." Hala said.
"Think they'll flip if they were here. Guess we're adventurous!" I smiled back.
Our waiting came to an end before darkness set upon us, and the taxi arrived. Phew.

It was a week of sun, swimming and... not very friendly faces! The only people we really connected with were the sweet girl serving at meal times who took in our friendliness and smile with a kind gesture of looking after us so well. And the older French couple with whom we had a few laughs over supper.

My first date was with Avi who arrived to pick us up at the ClubMed in a truck! Yep. 

I had mentioned that I shall be accompanied by my sister as a chaperone. 

He drove us to a bar in town and told us about his life in a Kibbutz. His life was based on agriculture. He had two kids with a partner but from what I gathered, they lived their lives individually as they pleased within the community. Interesting but certainly not my type. He drove us back to our domain and my goodbye felt more like, don't call me, I'll call you. 

During the next few days, Yuri and I talked and texted until he was intrigued enough to fly down to Eilat for the afternoon just to meet me. Cool.
The Sunday midday arrived and I went to greet him at the entrance of the club. As I stood in my bikini and a wrap, my eyes covered by dark sunglasses, I noticed a tall, dark stranger standing by the guard with a polo shirt, dark trousers and a briefcase, looking across at me. You would think he had come for an office meeting, only by the sea. Well, he had. Just a different kind of meeting. It was an interesting rendezvous, to say the least. 

At the end of the week, upon return home, at the Ovda airport, we were questioned yet again for two hours.
A younger girl who seemed sweeter than any other we had come in contact with in customs asked me: "How long have you lived in England?"
I answered with a smile: "Da'ling, I went there most probably long before you were born!"
She was becoming too friendly it seemed, so she was replaced by another girl for further questioning. Not enough... They kept asking whether we had met anyone or talked to anyone outside the ClubMed. Frankly, it was none of their business.

Finally, an older lady who must have been 'the chief' that day comes over to me, holding my British passport in her left hand, flicking it close to my face, she asks away:
"Have you been in touch with anyone here in Israel?" She asked abruptly.
As I caught Hala's stare, with a 'What are you gonna answer to this?' kind of look, without any hesitation, I answered:
"No."
"What were you doing in Lebanon six months ago?"  She then asked.
Oooops... Had not taken into account that the Lebanese stamp on our passport could have been a problem! But it was the umph time this was being asked of me by the customs. What the heck.
So I answered in all honesty: "I was partying every night till morning. It was so much fun!"
The woman in charge turned a different page, she then asked: "Do you know what's happening in Israel?"
I was surprised and asked accordingly: "Is there anything happening in Israel? I just spent a week here, sure didn't seem like anything was going on!" 
By now, the woman was looking at me with a look of 'Honey, you're not a blonde', (with all due respect to all the lovely blondes, just an expression), 'You're not 6 foot tall and neither are you skinny', so... 'what's wrong with you?'
So I continued: "Honestly... I don't watch the news, don't read newspapers, have no idea. I just love travelling."
Well, I made her smile as she handed me my passport and said: "It's ok. You can go."

Back in London, Yuri and I met a few other times on his business trips here.  We always got on well and had a good laugh.  On one trip, I went back to his room in one of London's top hotels and as we were getting cosy, I asked: "Now... Don't tell me you got a no-smoking room?!"
"Yes," he replied.
Then we got even cosier and I asked: "Do you happen to have any condoms?"
"No," he answered.
"So tell me, baby... Did they give you a special rate for a no-smoking, no-fucking room?" I said it.
That cracked Yuri up and we roared with laughter as I left the room.

Judge me all you want I say... I'm having a ball writing my memoirs. Thank you for the support of my amazing readers, friends and loving souls. When I get private mail from friends across the globe telling me how courageous I am writing so freely. I thank you for the depth of your understanding. Yes, my dear friends, it takes balls to be free.

Be Free.  

Be Happy.

Are you looking for obstacles... Instead of magic?

What a glorious weekend it has been.

It began with a dinner party at home on Friday. I have learnt to invite guests, more than the capacity of my living room allows as a quarter to half the people cancel last minute. That's fine.  We always have a good time with the ones who do turn up and miss the ones who don't... Well, kind of.

Let me talk to you about family.
Talking to many people over the years with an open heart, it has come to my attention how difficult it is to adjust to the behaviour of family members. Do you realise that the most difficult obstacles put our way through our dearest and the closest people to us? How many of you can honestly say that you never had a problem with your mother? Your sister or brother? Or your kids? Never mind, your partner!

I have been quite lucky as it has been an easy ride to have an understanding mother and great siblings who I have adored and loved dearly. A father who through time and my endless letters to him, came to understand and loved me with all my tantrums; the ones I could only throw at him and be forgiven for them. My father had reminded me many times how his father (my grandfather who had passed away years before I was born) had never kissed him. When I finally visited home years ago, after not seeing him for 8 years due to the political situation in our country, he was standing at the airport, crying. I would never forget his loving tears and the look in his eyes that could only express how much he loved and missed me.  This man had more love, understanding and feelings in him than life and family had allowed him to express. Could I forgive myself now, for the six months that I did not speak to him because he had made me mad with his 'what seemed at the time' non-understanding ways? Yes, I can. What has passed is past, guilt is the worst feeling to put on oneself. It does not serve any purpose. But our loving relationship continued on till I last saw him, a year ago.

Families are not easy to deal with. Just imagine we are born, even as twins, with different characters, different goals, and different feelings. Siblings don't have it easy. There is always a feeling of why did my parent do this for her/him and not me? Why do parents make differences between their children? Why is every member of your close family questioning your way and telling you what you should be doing as opposed to what you like to be doing? Can you see yourself acting in a way that you would not have normally done, despite what your mum or dad told you? Just imagine all the sagas of family life.
Then think of how to make that difference in your family.
'How much love and understanding can one have?' As much as one wishes. Are YOU ready to make those changes? Keep questioning your ways. You may surprise even yourself at the outcome of how changing your patterns to ones of more loving and caring can affect the whole picture.

Stop judging and making every decision members of your family make, wrong. Try and look at their views with more understanding of where they are coming from. Try to help each other through the obstacles and instead... Turn your relationship into magic with a loving heart.
Have I always had an easy ride with my family? No. But we have all been willing to learn from our mistakes and make more of an effort in having respect for our individuality and the paths we choose. It takes two to tango. So... sure, it is not just up to us, the other person has to be willing to make the necessary changes too. But we can begin by having more understanding and love.  The key word here is... Forgiveness.

Now to go back to the weekend.
Saturday was spent clearing up after the party with Hala and getting ready for the night out at Supper Club. It was Troy, our dear friend's farewell party which he had organised for a bed of twenty of his close friends, turning up for a fun evening. I say bed as there are no tables and chairs in Supper Club, but beds. To give you an idea, I took some photos of the acts performed while being served a four-course meal, almost lying on the beds.

Now this act... The actor removed his sleeves, stapling his arm which is bleeding in this photo.  Partially watching this act in disbelief, I had to hide behind Robby not to be further disturbed. Why? But why is it necessary to shock in this manner? I wonder how many people enjoyed watching this while chewing on the steak served for dinner?
'What is the world coming to?' Would be my mum asking.
In the above photo, he 'drank' or what other word could I use for someone taking a glass of liquid through a straw from his nose?!

Then came the next act. What Troy's brother, Tris called 'the biscuit'. Have a look. What would you call this?
Loved the shoes!

After dinner, in the tiny cage-like smoking area, I met the three boys dressed up for Halloween who kindly allowed me to take photos. I love the no-smoking ban. In fact, started smoking again since!  It is the best place to meet people. At least there is interaction amongst like-minded people.

Another impressive act was to follow.

The club got filled with new arrivals dancing to the great tunes of the fabulous DJ playing great dance music.  House, of course, is my favourite.  As Hala and I walked past the DJ who I had heard and seen there many times before, grabbed us each by our waist, in a friendly manner.  

He then took my hand to kiss and said: "It always makes me happy to see you here, you always smile."

Aaaahhh... How cute is that?  And this is not the first time I've been remembered for my smile.

When you smile... The world smiles back at you.

We all had to leave the club at 2 am as opposed to 3, as the clocks had changed every year at the last weekend of October. The energy around with the great vibe we were feeling was too high to end the night.  So... What next? The 'criminal sisters' with Troy and two other couples wanted more. The night was young... We continued on to our very favourite rave club till God's early morning light began to appear before we headed home for some sleep  A friend once said: "Sleep is overrated!"  

You will only get bored now if I told you we were invited out on Sunday night for a 10 pm dinner at Roko by a couple friends; Essy and his partner. Only to bump into Troy and Tris outside the restaurant and all came back to us for a nightcap.

"Where do you get your energy?" Charlotte asked as she called to get an update on the weekend.

"I get it from all the love I give and more so... All the love I get back." That was my straight answer.