Bombarded with Love...

A life... Full and Filled!
Filled with Lovely people and knowing everything is as it ought to be.  

The weeks are passing by fast, and there has yet to be any kind of property deal, which is what I am seeking at present. But I finally came to realise that I should stop worrying. Think of solutions and realise everything will happen at the right time, in the right direction. It is fine except for the ones we create for ourselves.  

On that note, I worked hard all week and partied even harder all weekend!  
Going around Chelsea Harbour and re-visiting the interior design shops has been fun, bringing back great memories of my working days. The weather in London has been most desirable; as it is hot and mainly sunny, which makes me not go away for now, it is pure bliss. The streets are empty as everyone has disappeared to their summer retreats of packed beaches. Driving around the city with the roof down and excellent music playing is nothing less than a joyous summer. There is nowhere else I would rather be now. Nitya's garden party by the pool on a mild Friday evening, mixed with an international crowd of jet setters, making new friends and seeing familiar faces while the rosé champagne flowed around, was another evening not to be forgotten.

On Saturday, the 13th of July, my plan to stay in and save my energy for the following birthday weekend could have gone better! What a surprise again. At about 1:00am, I got ready and drove to Fabric; no wonder they call it my second home. Spent most of my time either dancing in the DJ booth or getting more familiar with faces whose paths we had crossed before. The decision to leave at 5:00am did not happen, so after more dancing and following Judes from room to room in the club, I finally managed to go at a decent hour of 9:30am, had breakfast alone at Paul's and then drove back in full sunshine with the roof down again. The sun energised me, and I didn't want to sleep, so I texted Aisha, who had woken up and asked me to join her for Turkish coffee on her balcony with Kristel. Soon after, Risha arrived. Lazing in the heat and enjoying each other's company left us hungry by 2:30pm, so we headed to Thomas Cubitt pub for a gastro meal, which nourished every taste bud, and finally, by 6:00pm, I was ready to hit the pillow.

So many often ask me:
"Haldita, where do you get your energy?"
Energy must be a state of the mind; when you let go of troublesome thoughts and make peace with yourself, you have peace with the world and everything around you. Conquering unnecessary imaginations of anything negative and replacing them with good deeds and constructive ideas everyone can benefit from is authentic living. When remarks have headed my way as:
"Haldita, some of us have to live in the real world."
Well, my world is as accurate as I make it out to be, and I choose to see the bright side of it all, the good rather than the bad and the beauty rather than anything unpleasant.  

Another highlight of last week was an engagement party at Notting Hill with Jane and Russ. Unlike the 8:00pm start of the party, I managed to get there before 23:00 hour, fashionably late as usual! Great to see Donna there and catch up with the news while we sat outside the open space and then to get into a deep conversation with Gloria, who sang beautifully at one of my parties and hear her latest spiritual development, not dissimilar to mine, each in their own way magical. She agreed to join my house party the following evening.

What happened on the following Saturday was my birthday. The day began at lunch with my girl and boy, who had invited me to a gastro meal in Mayfair; I could not have been more proud of God's special blessings. Afterwards, we drove around London, and after dropping them to their destinations, I got home to answer the many sweet messages of great wishes. The wicked had no rest as I got my flat ready for the night party at 22:00 hour. Kim came over to give me a hand with the preparations, and it all kicked off as the guests flew in through the door with music and laughter. The plan was for those who wanted to join Fabric later to either attend the party at my place or meet at Fabric later at 1:30/2:00am. There was such a high energy of loveliness floating in the air that it did not allow me to sit down for a minute but mingle with the adoring friends who had turned up. Somehow, the living room always gets filled up, and I need to find out exactly who will come and who won't.  

By 1:00am, many had already backed off from the idea of clubbing and went their way as the seven of us made it to Fabric at my favourite table, and others followed suit from other destinations. DJ Dan Ghenacia ended the night, or the morning, with a big bang. We danced our feet off till the closing time of 8:00am, then went on to drive with Kim and Troy to have breakfast at 9am in Aubaine. Shame they did not serve champagne! All I recall is having love all around me and great music. A genuinely mind-blowing night.  

Bedtime was before midday as Kalina had fallen asleep and missed the party; she texted to organise a meeting at 3:00pm at my place to drive to the Lovebox festival in Hackney. We had not seen each other since January, so spending a whole afternoon with more fabulous music in a sunny London park was best for us to spend together. The VIP tickets were courtesy of Labella, who had couriered them to me on Friday. Judes happened to be there too, and we managed to find each other at the vast Red Bull tent where DJ Harvey was playing in London after ten years of immigrating to the US. Wow!

Lovebox Festival - Hackney

DJ Harvey

I have learned that life is truly an illusion of our mind.
Nothing is quite what it seems to be.
There are twists and turns to every story. It is always complex.
People will judge you according to what they feel inside. It is not your problem.
Positive thinking brings joy into life; we deserve to be happy.
Spread the love around, smile and show the world you are content and no one can touch you.
Meditation has been the best discovery of self and how the universe can work my way.
Embarrass those who are unkind with your goodness.
You will never know who may rescue you at different stages of life, so be kind to everyone who passes your path and let go of those who do not appreciate you.
Only I am responsible for my actions and how I feel.
The secret of looking young is feeling young. Never lose touch with the child in you.

And now, I'm 54, and boy, I want more!
Wishing you ALL Love and Peace.

We Live What We Believe!

Do you know why my life will always be wild... Or mad?
Coz it's got me in it! Haha

Last night was an inspiring dinner of words and an orgasmic sense of the pallet with Donna at the new Five Fields' Chelsea restaurant. A calming decor of earthy colours, charming waiters at hand and the luxurious indulgence in gastronomy make this restaurant one of my top favourites. After a gratifying eight-course meal, I can safely say: "I felt like a stuffed Turkey!"  Over the three-hour dinner, Donna and I returned to discussing the latest spiritual developments in our lives. If you are wondering what this could imply, it is about the messages we receive through words that come to mind. It is a matter of recognising between good and bad thoughts, separating them and understanding when inspiring thoughts and deeds arise to fulfil our lives. When the higher voices speak, the chitter chatter of nonsense leaves the way for the good to appear in our minds, followed by the need for action. Life has a new meaning, and fear slowly disappears in the background. There are moments of downs in all our lives, but is positive thinking and being a part of our genes? This only came to mind when a lovely lady, who may seem 'a hard woman' to some, was once again complaining of her depression, mentioning that this was in her genes and that her family are all manic depressives!  
"Really?!" I thought.
It then made me think of my therapist, François, who had taught me about ancestral patterns and how important it was to recognise them and make the necessary changes. After all, our life is in our own hands. We can make it, we can break it. It is all about the choices we make. To some, and even to myself, at times, I live in a bubble of happiness which no needle or even screw could possibly burst.  

The reason I have not been writing my blog regularly is all the time I spend daily on the computer flat hunting and then calling the various estate agents to view them. One day, I returned home exhausted mentally and somewhat physically, feeling down and unloved! That was on Friday after looking at more flats that did not fit my criteria of the image I had created in mind of my new place.  
An apartment that had taken my fancy was next to development in Earl's Court's demolition of the vast exhibition centre, close to the underground, which apparently ran under the flat. It was somewhat disappointing, but one day, feeling a little down is only natural and will make the good to follow so much more appreciative. By Saturday, everything had returned to normal, full of beautiful surprises.

Saturday began with breakfast at Aubaine's Kensington branch with Sophie (one of my oldest friends) and a proper catch-up of the past months. It reminded me how one got trapped into creating gossip merely out of discussing someone else's life, in my eyes, quite harmlessly. All the years have passed, and now, our exchanges have taken on a more fulfilling turn, not about talking of anyone but journeys of enlightenment and forever trying to find happiness within. The two hours passed as fast as twenty minutes, and it was time to move on to our next rendezvous. Mine was a meeting with Gina for a drive, deep house music blasting through the breeze out of the open roof towards the private Shoreditch House in the East End. We had one and a half hours to kill before our 3:00 pm lunch with Nitya at the club, so walking around Brick Lane, struck by a mild smell of curry which rose from the Indian restaurants, was the best alternative! The sun shone in full force with a gentle breeze, and I even managed a little shopping for a loose white top and a funky tracksuit bottom. Phew! Gina explained how she once walked around the area checking out the street art. 

Brazilian artist

Brick Lane

Time had flown by again, and we made our way to Shoreditch House, where we met up with Nitya, whom I knew from various meetings at parties and clubs but only got to properly chat after. The pleasant lunch on the rooftop, watching the GG crowd of gays and girls covering every inch of the poolside in swimwear, was fun. 

Nitya left after the meal, and Gina accompanied me on the drive home. After another fun drive, my friend went as I had to prepare for an exceptional visit by the sexy Christofer! A perfect way to ...  Not entirely end but continue on an extraordinary day already. Sipping on rosé champagne and catching up on where we had left off gave me even more energy to text Kim immediately after my lover parted at midnight. As Cinderella was on her way home, I got ready to drive and pick Kim up for a drive to Fabric. My second home, some might say!


Goodness, did we have a great time again? Seeing Judes, which is nothing short of pure pleasure, listening and dancing away to Terry Francis blasting room 3 with his tunes, mingling amongst the crowd of clubbers and seeing more familiar faces, Malik's warm hug and sweet smile, all accompanied by a dear friend was the ultimate joy anyone could possibly experience. We left the club with Kim at a decent 8:00 am to nourish our hunger with breakfast at the Chelsea branch of Aubaine.  
So, my weekend began with breakfast at Aubaine on Saturday and almost ended with the same on Sunday morning—nonstop! Time for sleep had finally arrived.
However, the men's Wimbledon tennis championship was taking place that Sunday afternoon. After a four-hour morning sleep, I woke up before 2:00 pm to watch The Brit Murray beat Djokovic in a super game with some of the best rallies in tennis. Finally, after 77 years, Britain had a winner! Fab.

Charming speech by Djokovic.
True Sportsmanship.

Andy Murray... It's all yours, Hun!

And look who we have here!

Last Wednesday, on a school night (for those who go to school), Lawrence invited me to dinner at Bob Bob Ricard's trendy Soho restaurant. It was great seeing him, as always, with his utter charm and sensibility. Afterwards, his friend Luigi, accompanied by Sobha, was introduced to me at the bar of the eatery, and we decided to join the boys for a boogie at the Room Service club, walking distance to where I had parked my car. One thing is for sure: in a gay club, the music is bound to be good, and it was that, but the tiny basement was filling up fast, and Sobha and I bid the boys farewell, and each went our separate ways. It was another midnight hour, and my car had vanished from sight as I wandered through the back streets of Soho. My shoulders were in pain; miraculously, a Chinese massage parlour appeared in front of my naked eyes! Very decent, with special leather seats showing through the glass window. At a mere £10, I walked in and had a fantastic fifteen-minute back and neck massage, easing discomfort. Walking out of the place and realising I was somewhat lost, two distinguished-looking gentlemen in black tie escorted by an elegant lady passed me by. I stopped the single male pedestrian and asked if he knew where Regent Street was. He immediately brought out his iPhone and helped me walk with me while the four of us chatted along the way. 'How civilised!'  I thought as I drove off.

This week began by hosting Ricky and his partner Tim on Monday evening for a city tour in my car in the early evening, followed by a walk around Covent Garden, where we had dinner. They requested I close the roof of the vehicle, which was such a shame on such a pleasant evening and despite their special request of one being a vegetarian and the other's dislike of anything spicy or rich, it was quite a surprise when they chose a French restaurant in the area and ended up both having a coq au vin! I thought they did not drink alcohol, either. Oh well, everybody to themselves.
Talking of visitors in town, it was such a relief and joy to have Paulina cancel our lunch on Tuesday and instead pay me a visit at home for a special mint and ginger tea. Again, our enlightening conversation was positive and left me wishing we could meet more often. Who knows? Brazil is a country I would definitely go back to one day.

And my week's créme de la créme was tonight, meeting up with an old boarding school friend, Juliana, who had travelled to London with her young son. We met last in New York some twenty-eight years ago! And here she was at my doorstep after all this time. Nothing much had changed in us except the experience of all the decades that had passed, bringing us together now on a higher understanding of friendship and love. We only recently connected through Facebook, realising how important timing is in our lives.

After a gastronomic week of all senses; food, drinks, drives in the sunshine, friends, dancing and exchanging love, not necessarily in that order, the time has come to share an intimate thought (certainly no secret) with you readers, my virtual friends ...  
Age is not simply a concept; it's a fact of life; it is all the years of experience. So far, another year has passed for me, full of adventures, meetings, and significant changes taking place as I write. Celebrating every day with gratitude is a goal I aim to achieve till my last breath, with a higher understanding of love. It does not mean being a pushover or tolerating anything that upsets me, but looking at it more broadly and letting people around me know where they stand.

This year, it was 53 and Fancy-Free.
Soon, it will be 54... And I Want Moooore!

Tick... Tick... Tack! Tour of London

What would it be if you were to lean out of the window as far as your body could allow and shout absolutely anything from the bottom of your heart out into the world outside?
My words would come out from my lungs deep inside; shout out:
"God, I fuckin' Love YOU!"
 Think that sums it all up.

Been absent from my blog for almost three weeks now! So, time to catch up.
It's a sunny, warm and typical Sunday early evening here in London. A swirl of a breeze is flowing through the vast, open living room windows, into the corridor of light grey horizontal stripes with a slight shimmer of silver, channelling a loving spirit of many whose paths have crossed mine in the past, finally into my boudoir which is experiencing a certain feeling of emptiness already as I have decided to move on with my life, beginning with the sale of my apartment in Chelsea. Boy, thank goodness these walls 'don't' talk!!! My blog would be child's play if they did. Haha.
Also, I've been flat-hunting for a garden apartment. The patio, living room, and bedroom design is almost completed. Now, all I have to do is find the apartment. I was told how important it is to put your thoughts and ideas into the universe, and they will be granted. Let the angels take the role of a Genie, so let's see what the forces will throw my way. No doubt, I will keep you posted on that.  

As a result of all the changes to come, Kim joined me today at the Battersea car boot sale, which takes place every Sunday. Come rain, come shine. This was a first for us; the 28-degree heat was no joke. It happened in London, and we chatted to all sorts of people who passed by where we had laid the goods gathered from my worldly travels, mainly clothes, I must add. The roof of my car was half open, and Ibiza music compiled by my brother Soltan was playing. It helped me choose my next dance partner in Fabric, the cutest 2/3-year-old boy who could move from that young age. Kim was a natural at attracting buyers with her flair and charm, carrying a lace beige umbrella above her head; while I wore shorts and a cowboy hat, we made a few friends along the way.
The day was a total success, and it helped me get rid of a whole bunch of extras in my life. The rest will head to the charity shop tomorrow; I must always give something back.

Diversity is the name of the game!

Going back in time, last night was the wedding of family friends with our kids, the Ex with his new lady whom I had met once at the Pop Up store when he purchased four of my prints; she is charming and pretty. We decided there and then to keep in touch. Coooool.
In the surroundings of what was a proper blossoming English garden with a
It was somewhat overwhelming to connect with so many friends from the past; most married couples, we used to mingle with and be repeatedly asked if we would go back together since our relationship is so amazingly amicable. My answer was pure and simple... "Nope."
Sabi even asked: "Was your Ex the love of your life?"
Without a thought, I answered: "Yes."
He was indeed because now I see it clearly. How else would I have lasted those difficult years of learning as I did and still have so much respect and love for him? It's just a different sort of love. We spent over twenty years together; surely that counts a lot. He is an extraordinary man in my life and always will be.
At the dinner table, I sat next to Mimi on one side and the twin sister of a beautiful, gentle soul, Gemmy, who lost her life to a brain tumour. As, naturally, the conversation between the three of us was directed clearly towards Gemmy, it was only apparent that she was with us at that table, in spirit. The bride's mother, a very dear old friend Melody, who is full of love and kindness, and her husband had organised a night to be remembered by all. The touching, humorous speeches by all parties kept everyone smiling, and the two daughters, including the bride, were full of sweetness and joy.  

Saturday midday was spent with Labella, a new Fabric buddy, at the Borough Market, set in the city, introducing a rich culinary experience. I will say it repeatedly: nowhere beats London on a sunny summer's day in the world. We walked around the stalls of food vendors, from cheeses to olives, sourdough bread to fresh fruit and flowers, and chatted away while eating lunch purchased on the spot. It was the beginning of a great weekend.

Southwark Cathedral

Inside the market

Jumi Cheese
Jimmy Choos
Jumi Choos
Jimmy Cheese

To be devoured?!?











On a Friday evening, Aiden, the sex therapist I had met a year and a half ago, appeared in promising words on my iPhone out of the blue and suggested he pay me a visit. This all sounds soooo not what it was! Whether I needed to see a sex therapist at a time in my life (not long ago) or not is irrelevant. In fact, Aiden had mentioned I should be doing his job, but nah, I may mistakenly get them more addicted! Haha.  
Dinner at the Balthazar in Covent Garden with Shelley was a three-course meal. We started with a couple of their speciality, Aperol spritzes, my favourite summer drink. 

The week before passed, my brother Soltan and his lady Tuba paid a visit while Mum and Sis Hala were also over. On a Friday, we threw a party for family and close friends, with noticeable diversity in cultures, age and outlooks, but all lovingly adorable in their rights. The party was a joyful event that only made me feel even more blessed with everyone who enriched my life with their love.
On Thursday, Camden Market was calling. Hala suggested we visit as Soltan had not been for a while, and it was Tuba's first. It was a memorable cloudy but pleasant afternoon, rafting on the canal and listening to the live music played by the duo of young men and their female companions. I turned my iPhone music on, and we smiled at the passers-by on Little Venice.  

 

Camden

The Love Birds

The musicians on board the Little Venice Tour

Camden Market by the canal

We, en famille, also met up with Tony, a good friend of Soltan's, for a cocktail at the roof terrace of Radio Bar, followed by the club Project, showered by champagne by our host! Where I reconnected with a super couple, Theos and Rosemary. It was a pleasure meeting them properly at our party. Some people have an incredible aura simply because they live by the rules of kindness, and their smile shines through their whole being. Soltan's music rocked the party till the early morning hours, and bedtime was just after 6:30am when the last three guests left. Towards the night's end, Troy and Torsten arrived with Yass, who was the cake's topping.
The series of family visits ended last Tuesday, and life is back to somewhat normality—or another version of abnormality, as some may question.

I have been so good during the sales. I have only one top and hairband from Paul Ka to report, which is unbelievable. The only way is not to walk into any store or use super control to change the habits (good or bad) of a lifetime—look and no buy.  
The new hot dude in my life is away visiting Russia, which is not a good sign! Haha.  But again, it is all in the name of fun and laughter. I decided to enjoy my singlehood to the last drop long ago and keep to my word... So far.  

How do I feel right now?  
Everything is excellent under the sun or moonlight, shining bright. Love all the way...
Funny, the music I am listening to says... I wanna go to astronaut school; I wanna be an astronaut. Most appropriate, somehow!


 

Fulfilled... Happy... Way to go!

Life is joy.
Life is great.
It is, after all, what you make it out to be.

The reason behind my happiness is a full-on life awaiting major changes on the line. The day I decided that not only myself but no one was ever going to feel sorry for me was a big step towards taking full responsibility for my actions, and here is now, the time to prove just that.
Only a few weeks ago, I was in the wilderness with a group of yoga fanatics, surfers, hikers, and then me, a party animal of the past. Out of all life's experiences emerged a new chapter of a strong woman with goals so ready to take on.  

Life has been going fast on a roller coaster at the speed of light!  
The end of May was night after night of laughter, re-kindling with old buddies whose humour was more engaging than any comedy strip could offer. Troy had us in stitches at home one evening, with the presence of Hala, Dylan and Mama, who had cooked us a delicious meal. There was Aisha's superb bbq, where Shane joined Hala and me to have a night to remember in the company of the witty Ranna, who was adamant about getting married in 2014, although her boyfriend seemed unsure. She said, "I don't know who I'll be married to, but I'm definitely getting married next year!"
It was all in the name of good humour, but then,  a gentleman unknown to us stepped in and randomly said in a slightly drunken, happy mood:
"Now... Why don't we all have sex!"
You can only imagine the look of surprise on all our faces with an ensemble of outbursts of laughter. His wife, who was amongst us listening, simply brushed him off with these words:
"Oh! Here we go, he and his sex talk!"
The guy got encouraged with his sex chat and carried on taking it to a higher level, a full-on comedy show of an outrageous nature. A fun party, especially with Aisha and Pedro's warm and generous hospitality, could only be great.

Last Thursday, Thomas, whom I had first met in Fabric and with whom I was celebrating his birthday not long ago with his friends there again, invited me to one of the opening nights at the Serpentine Gallery in Hyde Park. Every year, an architectural site goes up and stays on through until October, then dismantles to be taken away. Sou Fujimoto was appointed to build a vision of airy lightness amid the surrounding greenery this year.

The evening went on from there by picking Ernest up and heading to the busy Birdcage pub in the East End run by the one and only Andi Dj-ing on stage with Neneh Cherry, whose birthday I had sadly missed but managed to make it to her partner's at least. Seeing so many friends there through Ernest's introductions over the years was great.  

Despite the cold and pretty miserable weather we have been experiencing in London this spring, BBQs have not been short of hand. One at Robbie and Aari's with Aisha on a chilly evening protected by the fully leafed walls of their garden and another family Sunday at the Ex-in-laws was a good way of sticking our tongues out at the unkind climate.

Last Saturday began with an idea of a brunch picnic and ended in a gathering of good old friends at a pub lunch in Hammersmith by the river. The food at the Blue Anchor was not much to be desired, but the walk along the Thames and the semi-appearance of sunshine added flavour to our dissatisfied palates. We then headed towards Holland Park for a coffee and more of a spot in the sun. The queue of people standing next to the open-air café, all dressed up with picnic baskets, suggested a night at the Opera in the white-tented area nearby. Before the sopranos began, Robby, Dylan, Kerry and Hala all left, so Barton and his good friend Lydia suggested I join them for a sit down on the lawn of the park, close to the opera tents and soak up some heat before it runs away again. We did manage to find a spot in the sun through the overcrowded space, and since the singing barely reached us, my iPhone music took over the beats. When the sun finally disappeared behind the trees in the far, the cold air had arisen, and by deciding to give my friends a lift, the night continued to Barton's, where I got to meet Kathy, visiting London for the first time. The evening ended with a Persian meal at a new nearby restaurant to Barton's and then home.

Holland Park

Another view...

Since my return from Costa Rica, life has been 'non-stop', and if it had not been for all the exciting new projects keeping me up most nights, I would have probably felt the lack of sleep. Alas, none of that. The Stats on my blog indicate over 11,000 hits from every country I imaged possible on an Atlas; I have made prints of photos taken from various trips around the world on perspex and will be exhibiting them for the first time at Mama Brown's new unique concept space of an extravaganza of art, furniture and clothes gathered from all around the world, not to mention the delicious daily recipes of Aisha, to take place over the next five days, starting tomorrow.

'Passion Photography' is my theme, as many words can be spoken through the lens of a camera. Hence, 'Combining travels and photography mixed with words... There will be an outlook into my colourful world'. From designer turned tourist, writer and now photographer, life is all about crossing the lines of one's comfort zone and spreading those wings into the wilderness of the unknown. So much to be grateful for. Today, after finishing preparing the prints to be hung on the walls of Mama Brown's pop-up store, I made a getaway to meet up after 3:00 pm, quite later than expected, with Julie for a spot of tennis watching at Queen's Club. As we met outside the entrance and headed to court one, a drizzle of rain began, and the game was stopped. What's new, this being London! So, we headed to the bar for a glass of bubbly or two, and as the rain had not stopped, we continued to our reserved seats for afternoon tea on the grounds. Finally, we managed to seat ourselves for an astonishing game played by the tall Argentinian Juan Martin Del Potro against Xavier Malisse of Belgium. We almost gave up in the middle of the match but hung in to watch Del Potro win the three-set game.

The winner, Del Potro serving

Woohoo! The sun showed up at 8:00 pm!
End of game.

Oh my goodness, it's 4:00 am, and I need to sleep before the exciting new day begins. 

Na night, Everyone.

Stepping out of Comfort Zone at Chirriposa Retreat

"Our Greatest Strength Lies In The Gentleness
And Tenderness Of Our Heart."
~Rumi

Back in Costa Rica, another day, another bus journey began in the early morning towards the beach on the Osa Peninsula. This time around, we sat in the back seat before the pile of luggage and enjoyed yet another ride through the green scenery that passed us by. A stop at a café along the route and the first sights of the Golfo Dulce were apparent; the sweet Gulf indeed. By then, friendships had flourished, and I did not feel alone for a second.

The first sight of Golfo Dulce

Where Eagles Dared!

The bus finally stopped at a bar where our luggage was transferred in the back of trucks, with the group scattered in the designated carriers as that was the only they could have driven through the river followed by an uphill dirt road towards El Tumbo de las Olas which was the house we occupied for the rest of our retreat. At first, it was hard to believe we were sleeping on the first floor of an open house, set amidst nature at its wildest. 'Interesting'... I thought. On the ground floor, there was an open-air dining area with a large kitchen, which the local ladies making lunch occupied. This opened into a garden with a round pool surrounded by tropical trees, flowers, and hammocks hanging from posts. A wooden, open staircase to the first floor was covered by a high ceiling, partially see-through glass. No doors, no windows in sight.

The view from my bed

Walking upstairs to find the white-sheeted beds, only separated by heavy white curtains, reminded me of boarding school days, sharing rooms with inmates! Haha. It was as though time had stopped long ago, and I felt young, very young, a teenager lost in time. We each chose a bed, and Tracey happened to be my roommate, who was joined later by Charel. Next came lunch and a stroll down a pathway of trees and flowers which led to the beach and the blue Gulf, a bay of mainly sand with some stones scattered here and there, the varied green of the palm trees mixed with other lush shrubs unknown in the name (to me anyway) was breathtaking. While watching some of the girls go for a swim, I took a walk around the protected area, ending with large stones set at sea. A scene from a postcard.

We began days with yoga at 7:00am where our bubbly instructor Kenny G talked of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, their influence and learning while floods of tears flowed through most our eyes. It is incredible how connected we all really are. Beauty is found in nature as in people all around us; seek it, and you will find it. I would smile. Every time hummingbirds flapped, their wings hovered above the red and yellow heliconias during the lesson. Other times there were the naughty monkeys swiftly moving from one tree to another, there was the tucan bird with a giant yellow beak which diverted our attention and generally, the wild life in Costa Rica was next to none. It made me wonder whether birds could hear us or, like plants, they simply go by feeling alone. When words come out of our mouths, they generate a certain kind of heat, depending on the sentiments put into them.

We had surfing instructions from Tania on the first day, and people disappeared into the sea while all I wanted to do was lie on the surfboard and paddle away across the mellow waves. With all the Hawaiian Tropical oil on my skin, even holding onto the panel was hard work before sliding away like a slippery fish, but I loved it. Forget gripping on it to stand up! The dream of becoming a surf babe would have to wait for another lifetime... Or who knows?!

During our stay, the food prepared by Angus was more like being on a gourmet holiday, which was different from what I had expected. Especially the very yummy chocolate cake he baked for Molly's birthday was truly more gastronomic than most I had tasted before; I believe I have tried many. Tangus, as Tania and Angus' duo team were called, had gone to all lengths to make our stay fun-filled and fully scheduled. In the mountains, the massage by a local lady was exciting; in a netted room, before darkness dissolved anything in sight but the sound of the crickets and other animals and candles around, she began by expressing gratitude to all that surrounded us and asked permission from my body to work on. Also, she followed a similar ritual at the end, which I felt very much touched by. Then, in Osa, I booked an acupuncture session with the Chinese doctor, which was a healing experience; in the dark again, with the help of a torch on his forehead, he masterly conducted the use of his needles, which generally would freak me out.

One afternoon, we got dressed in our yoga outfits and hiking shoes to walk in the nearby river. I slid on a stone and fell into the water with both my cameras hanging in their cases from my shoulder to waste. Oh well, a farewell to my Canon G12, it did me well but the chip was saved. Nothing lasts forever, after all, but after getting to a waterfall and climbing the rocks to jump into the pond below in full gear, losing my camera became a thought of the past. Material goods are there to give us pleasure, and they are in our control. The minute we pay importance to them, it is them controlling us.

The last day was left for the 'crème de la crème' of all experiences, boating all morning to spot the dolphins. Swimming with dolphins at sea has been one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. 'They are the only animals which can scan the human body', was what their coach had told us at a resort in Cancun, 'they sense you'. There are centres, especially in Florida, where swimming with these Godly creatures could help cure various illnesses or handicaps. As soon as the two boats our superb duo team hired were set at sea, three dolphins were spotted, and we got close to them before they made their way into the Pacific Ocean. After a ride through the backwaters and, thank goodness, not a sighting of crocodiles or snakes, we anchored at a beautiful spot for scuba diving, followed by a picnic brunch on board the boats. When we finally left to head back to the port, a dolphin appeared not far off, and when we approached the giant mammal, he decided to swim ahead of our boat, literally underneath. Kenny G brought out his flute and began playing a gentle tune, which would have probably even brought a cobra out of his nest. My heart went to Molly, whose mother had recently passed away, whose spirit followed her daughter wherever she went, sending her loving messages through the sound of the birds, the playful monkeys and now, the dolphin swimming with us. I had told her from my experience that when people die, they never leave you, all you have to do is think of them and they will be there to help, protect and guide you in simply a different way. You can feel certain physical embraces. 

Picnic Brunch

The affectionate dolphin

Once we returned to land, Angus was waiting for us with another car to transport us to the last yoga session at the Iguana Lodge, followed by lunch. I chose to skip the class and leave my camera alone on the beach, where I ended up chasing butterflies for ages. Phebe had told me a beautiful story she had once read about a woman chasing a butterfly for so long while where she needed to look was simply within.

Chasing the Butterfly

At last night's gathering, Kenny G asked everyone to express their most memorable moment on the retreat. The memory of the dolphin swimming along with us in harmony was the first thought that came to my mind. Charel shared her sentiments on how the beds were set out and how comfortable we felt in each other's company, the comfort one would think of with loved ones. When it came to Mandala's turn, whose striking beauty had caught my attention from the moment she walked into the dining area on our first night and talked candidly about her battle with cancer. At that moment, I could not help my outburst when I told her:
"You're so brave!"
Indeed, her courage to go through chemotherapy and then to come on such an adventurous journey on her own was truly remarkable to watch. Not only once did she show any sign of pain, if not the one she felt now, indeed the one she had endured. Amazing woman. I also told Kenny how wonderful it was to hear him speak so fondly of his bride-to-be and his love for her. It is quite a rare thing in this day and age.  

My time in Costa Rica was precious in many ways, realising that comfort zones are basically lazy chairs that we settle into and not a way to conduct a life full of adventures to be experienced and taken advantage of. Stepping out of the blanket of my comfort zone, from handstands at yoga to walks up the mountains in jungles, personally, what gave me more courage to try out new ventures was the caring support all around, which we do not always get in life, from our genuinely superb organisers, Tania and Angus, the yoga master Kenny G and every single person there. The incredible energy attracted people with varied lifestyles and ages from different parts of the world to gather here in Costa Rica to reconnect with our spirits and move on to a hopefully more meaningful life. Angus' warm hugs every morning meant a lot to me, and the treasured chats with Tania were sublime.

At one stage, towards the end of the trip, two days of rain and I was almost ready to go home!
What?!? It was only due to too much thinking. Despite carrying my laptop and having internet access, I could not write, put pen to paper, or read! Too much time to think is not necessarily a good thing, it would seem. God knows I was not complaining for one second, as counting my blessings constantly is all I do, even in the worst of situations, and this is by far one of the most magical destinations my travels have taken me to. 

Being back in London and spending time with family has given me a broader understanding of the importance of their love. I have not always been at my best behaviour regarding the awakening of the rebellion in me when asked to behave as requested. When told: "Haldita, you're a handful." I know exactly what that means. How can one take criticism when you know you are not pleasing someone and do not wish to change for their sake? Communication is only sometimes the key, as both parties have to agree first!
Watching the care my Uncle Ken puts into his excellent relationship with his loving wife, Aunt Laura, brought further hope in understanding how relationships can work. Also, having my mum A gel and sis Hala here has been another blessing I thank God for. Accompanied by my kids, life has been bliss.

Toxifying the detox of the yoga retreat with two visits to my favourite club, Fabric, with Sis on the last two Saturdays since the back was a pure pleasure. Getting home one morning at 7:00am to face my cool uncle reading in the living room made me further understand how important it is when one's family have an understanding far beyond their choice of conduct of how you choose to live your life. No criticism but tolerance. If you get along well with your daily routine, no one else will make your choices.  

Life is to be lived... God Bless.

Costa Rica... Que Rica Rica

Sow the seed of love and let it grow to touch every soul that crosses your path.

Goodness knows I try to stay on top of things and only travel paths that lead me to a greener and more positive pasture, but there are moments of feeling let down by others, which, upon reflection, goes back to the ego. Sometimes, I feel disappointed in myself and those close to me, so with this in mind, I booked a yoga retreat in Costa Rica to go on my own and see if I can yet achieve another higher level of being.  

On the second morning of our arrival to San Jose, the bus journey began at dawn after an early breakfast, which seemed convenient as jet lag had already kicked in. I settled into the front seat next to the driver and watched abrupt scenes of the capital as we drove by. However, once we left the hustle and bustle of the city centre, the scenery that followed was breathtaking as the green surroundings of mountainous roads began to emerge. Apart from a short visit to the Krama yoga centre, San José is still to be discovered. This time, the focus remained on experiencing the wildlife of Costa Rica in the mountains for three days and the beach for the rest of our six nights' stay. Hence, the San Isidro Valley was the designated destination in Canaán de Rivas, alongside the Chirripo River, where Angus awaited us with a deliciously prepared lunch for our hungry group of ten.  

At first, the diva in me awoke when I saw the room on the lower floor, too close to the wildlife which surrounded us, but upon reflection, the whole point of this trip was to further heighten my tolerance and acceptance of situations as they arose. Let's face it: my room was great, simply decorated with a balcony, a rocking chair, and views only the heavens above could provide; it was all lush green, with birds singing along and the sound of the river below running in the background. I went back to Tania, who was in charge of the retreat, and told her:
"Darling, I must be out of my mind to complain about my room. This is the whole point of me being here. Actually, I love it and am grateful."

On the first day, I walked down to the pool after eating; there was a chill in the air, and the clouds were hovering above. It was too cold to dip, so I settled on a large rock by the river, absorbing my new environment's beauty and sounds. It brought new meaning to the word wholesome. As I sat there taking in nature's artistry, Tania's smiley face appeared from the woods, and she sat next to me on the boulder while the beginning of our friendship started to shape. Soon after, it was time to prepare for a yoga session in a spacious studio with no windows but all open air. Our instructor was called Kenny G. Needless to say, I had not read the program and hence had yet to learn what to expect from the program nor this young all-American boy with short, curly blonde hair who seemed well rounded. 

This was another case of me booking a holiday as I had done in the past, checking in to the spa retreat in Spain last Easter on Juliette's recommendation, and getting there to find out I had booked myself on a boot camp! I truly enjoyed the following challenging week. Dare me into a challenge any day.

Everything I heard from other attendees on this retreat about Kenny G's marvellous method of teaching yoga was true and more. Despite the three times-a-week pilates reformer classes and boxing before travels, some positions proved strenuous. Although I began my first yoga session at seventeen, which goes back a while (long before it became fashionable), the regular practice has been far from my schedule apart from when holidaying in India a while back, then Spain and Bali the year before. After the two-hour class, another tasteful dinner was served, and everyone was ready to retire to their rooms. There were too many unknown creatures hanging around in the woods outside, including varied bugs, which I preferred to avoid getting too acquainted with; hence, going to bed was the only remaining option.

Meditation and Yoga Centre

Waking up early for the 6:00am meditation in the semi-open-air yoga hut was pure pleasure, as serenity and calmness filled the space with sounds of nature. Looking back at the lovely people I met during my ten-day stay, it took me a while to get to know each one as, at first, it is only an image of a person we perceive according to how we feel and not who they really are. Then again, it also has something to do with energy flow. 

On the second day in the mountains, we walked to the Jardines Secretos, only a few minutes up the road, and the guide walked us through this Secret Garden. It was planted with Bird of Paradise flowers of different kinds, orchids growing out of trees, water lilies, and many other plants whose names I only wish I could remember.

Colourful Secret Garden

Orchids growing on trees.

Most unusual flower!

In the afternoon, I was still not tempted to swim in the pool because of the chill in the air, so I sat on the porch and read while, every now and then, being distracted by the lush green scenery and the sound of the birds. As the sunsets were as early as 17:30, everyone headed to their rooms as darkness descended upon us after a healthy dinner. Even I went to bed at an unheard hour of 10 or 11pm! That would be after a cheeky cigarette with my new partner in crime, Kasey. 

On another early morning, we were loaded into the truck (literally), myself in the front seat (being older does have its advantages) and the others standing behind in the open, going on an adventure trail, a short drive away, to the National Park; Cloud Bridge where I barely managed to take a photo. If I had known the walk would be so challenging and mainly uphill, the choice of going might have been left out of my schedule, alas, there I was breathless trying to keep up with the rest of a very fit entourage. And so, huffing and puffing, I struggled. There, amid the wilderness, grew plants I had never seen before. The guide who stayed behind to accompany me towards the end of the trek (as everyone else was far ahead) picked a particular fruit from the tree, slightly larger than a pea and before he had mentioned the name, I picked some from the tree and sucked out the white, sweet and sticky gel-like substance with tiny black seeds. The guide said:
"We call this fruit mucus."
I would have spat the substance out if I hadn't swallowed it so quickly!

Even in Spanish, I knew exactly what he meant as it felt exactly that; yes, mucusy but sweet. Urgh! On reflection, though, I liked the taste, especially when he mentioned how much protein it contains and having climbed mountains (well, in my book), I needed all the energy coming my way. There were waterfalls almost everywhere we looked; the only shame was that everyone seemed in such a hurry that I did not get to enjoy the scenery that surrounded us entirely. Glad that was over when it was, and the few hours of ascending had left us hungry for lunch, a visit to a trout farm, where we fished for our meal, literally. The last fish I happened to catch for that meal was my first ever!

Trout Fishing in Costa Rica

Afterwards, Angus offered to show us around their home, where Tania and their cute kitten awaited us. Oh, how I admire people living amid a jungle, mainly in an open space where monkeys often pass you by on nearby trees, and seeing a panther or a snake is no risk to anyone. To live this lifestyle in the ten days I did was a massive step towards being free in more ways than simply in mind and spirit. In my book, this was getting out of any comfort zone imaginable.

A room with a view. And what a view!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Upon returning to the Chirripo Retreat, another yoga session was scheduled before an early supper. Afterwards, we returned to our rooms to pack and get ready for another bus journey to Osa Peninsula early in the morning. This time, the adventures followed us to the beach. 

 To be continued ...