'Magic'? You may ask. Yes. Search for it and you will find it.
Not easy to reach when you are troubled. Then again, what triggers those difficult moments? When they arise, how does one deal with them?
I visited the city of Mashhad in the Province of Khorassan, North East of Iran. The city has some 13,000,000 visitors a year. Is it for its museums? Historic sites to visit? No, it's mainly the shrine of the eighth Islamic Imam. The poet Ferdowsi's resting place is on the outskirts of the city. The well-known Omar Khayyam, a poet, mathematician and philosopher is buried in Neishabour in this province, a good drive from Mashhad.
We hailed a taxi in the street with Hala, in a totally rundown, small yellow car. The driver and the passenger sitting in the passenger seat in front were friends. They both looked like one of the most famous, humorous characters in folk and popular literature, Mola-Nasredin.
One of his stories goes:-
Mola Nasredin was walking with the rope in hand attached to the donkey carrying his son.
Getting closer to the village, people began to pass him by. They began to murmur: "Look at Mola, how silly is that? He's walking in difficulty in this heat while letting his young boy ride on the donkey."
As Mola heard their deliberate chatter, he took his son off from the donkey and gave him the rope, while he mounted the animal. And all in a smile, they continued their journey into the village.
The next two villagers approached them and began to whisper to one another: "Look at Mola! How cruel. He's letting his poor son walk, while he's carrying his big belly on the donkey."
Mola got stunned and descended the animal and decided to walk alongside his son, holding the rope.
Two others walked by and began to laugh. Their remark was: "Look at Mola and his son walking. Silly. While they have a donkey to ride!"
The moral of the story is... There are always people who try to criticise. In fact, they are pointing one finger at you and the other three at themselves! So, let them talk.
I count my blessings for being free to express my feelings as and when I please.
We take our liberties for granted. I am beginning to realise how precious it is to have freedom of speech. It has been an experience talking to young men and women, artists in particular, who are ready to explode in a surrounding that has oppressed their inner being. Do we, living in the Western world, appreciate or truly absorb what goes on in most parts of the world? Is it about blame or understanding?
At different gatherings, I got the chance to meet some beautiful souls who talked to me of a desire to be able to express themselves, through poems, paintings, sketches and basically trying hard to let go of emotions running deep inside and being stopped by a barrier of thoughts of 'I mustn't' and 'I shouldn't', simply as a result of restrictions?
"I studied agriculture at university here," Shila began, "got all my paperwork ready for an application for a visa in the summer, to continue my masters in Europe, but didn't get the visa." There was a sad tone to her voice. She continued on to pour her heart out on how she loves writing and has been doing so for many years but she said: "I haven't allowed anyone to read anything I've written but would like to send them to you."
I encouraged her to come out with her writing, if anything, it can be food for the soul, to let out words that are beyond every day talking to friends.
Here are words that create a mind
that run deep within a heart
in the hope to touch other souls
through an inner creation of new spirits
No spoken words
could mean as much
as those that have been reflected upon
through silent moments of questioning
Oh Dear Lord
why do these gentle hearts have to suffer
when there can be beauty found
in another corner of this vast world?
Oh! How I understand suffocation, is not being able to respond as one pleases but as one is supposed to. How that changes one's character and behaviour; most times unnecessarily.
"It's sad that our women have to endure such hard times. Especially as artists." Mazda stated.
"Yes," I said in return, "But it's during hard times that we learn most. Perhaps if there were no restrictions, such great minds wouldn't be created to produce works that couldn't develop in normal situations and times."
"You are right Haldita," agreed Mazda. "My wife's a painter."
"How interesting... And does she do oil painting? What subjects?" I was truly curious.
"She does mainly sketches of women. Some are headless, from the neck down. Others of Afghan women. One particular one which got her going on the subject was of a few women standing with their burkas on, while one standing in the front, lifted her front veil with her right hand, to portray her angry face." Mazda was a truly modern man with a lot of respect for his talented wife, who sadly was absent on the night and I did not get to meet her.
Whether most Iranian men have been able to successfully open up to the world of female thinkers is a question I am pursuing.
Talking to different generations, I must admit seeing a change in men somewhat softening up to the fact but what really goes on in the mind and behind closed doors is another story.
It was delightful speaking to two sisters; one is a poet, who told me of the dark poems she wrote due to a bad depression which, she thankfully got out of and the other; is a feminist artist. There was a kind and gentle beauty about them both.
I told the poet: "You know, what I searched for most in my life is... Peace and Happiness. I was desperate to reach a point of no return. All this talk... When I get a million, I'll be happy. When I move into my ideal house, I'll begin my life anew. When I come out of this bad relationship, I'll start to change. When this... and when that... was not where I wanted to get to. I learnt to live for now... Right this moment. The past and the future... Irrelevant, yet important."
I continued: "Darling, as much as dark writing is important and there are a lot of readers who enjoy the genre of poems but do try and bring happy thoughts into your mind. For your own soul to heal, do think of joy at times when you write and see the change in your moods."
The poet thanked me for my positive advice and it touched my heart.
It seems to me that a nation of artists has been born here behind closed doors, ready to erupt.
The answer to my question 'How does one deal with everything in life?' is... 'Don't ever quit'.
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