My New Beginnings for 2012

When you let the sunshine enter your heart, the weather outside will not affect your feelings. Only then can you spread your radiance to the world around you.

More of that to come... Returning to our journey from Gili to Lombok, the Vila Ombak organised a boat ride to the next island, Lombok, where the crossing was possible. We got off, waiting for our taxi to take us to the airport on the more enormous island.  
Our driver, Zul, was most accommodating and suggested showing us around the island for the same price as taking us straight to our plane ride. We had four hours to kill, which allowed us to see Lombok. Brilliant.
The green island (well, it sure rained enough for it to be that green!) had an excellent feel. Bali is so over-populated now that I would love to return to Lombok again. Gili was great but a little too small for me! I like things rather 'big'. Haha

The road by the sea, going around the island

The happy school girls in uniform.
One is writing on her wrist! 'memories.'

The colourful Graveyard

The silk scarf factory, where we watched them being made

And our tiny plane, flying from Lombok to Bali!

This is where the pictures say a thousand words. My memories of Lombok.

When we landed in Bali, Lora confessed.
"Haldita, how could you sleep through that bumpy, scary flight?! Whenever I looked at you for reassurance, you were fast asleep through the half-hour flight."
I laughed and said, "Darling, I don't let fear rule me. I seem to fall asleep in such instances! Besides, Lora, you slept through our almost two-hour boat journey with waves as high as our speed boat on both sides while I watched and prayed, so now, it was my turn." 
We laughed and returned to the empty house where all the other guests had left.

Looking back at my three-week-long trip, I feel ever so grateful, and every day, I understand more and more why I had to be there. Let me explain.

It rained or poured every day in Bali. I know we were there during the rainy season. I do my homework and am a well-travelled woman, but even the locals were complaining about the constant heavy downpours. When you look, my pictures say it all.  
Now, I got dark, cloud-bathing! Had the sun come out, as a sun worshipper and a sun-soaking addict, I would have sat under those strong rayons with my usual Hawaiian Tropic oil, factor zero! And that would have been harmful to me. So that was a blessing. Always see the bright side.

From day one, we arrived at the house in Bali to be woken up every morning at the crack of dawn with the unpleasant sound of a rooster, which Lora's neighbours had acquired in her long absence. I told her one morning:
"Darling. Now I like being woken up by a cock in the morning, but this sure ain't the kind I'm talking about!!!"
We laughed hysterically at my naughty, comical remark but still woke up every day swearing at the noisy beast. By the end of the trip, even he didn't bother us much.

A frog managed to leap in the garden pool a couple of evenings, and boy had I ever heard such a noisy, coarse-voiced frog in my life. This one had it all. The first time around, Lora's help managed to catch and throw it outside in the street, but he found his way back when we returned from Lombok another evening, and we had to learn to sleep through his croak! Oh well, there are worse things in life, and he only stayed one night.

Had my dear friend Lora mentioned at the beginning that others would be staying with us in her four-bedroom house, I might not have gone there at all? Especially a couple with a ten-month-old baby and a nanny. The couple happened to be absolutely delightful; Annie and Benny, plus their baby girl, was the smiliest, most loving child I saw. She smiled big time every time she saw me, and that would melt my heart and bring back memories of my babies, now all grown up. Oh, I missed them being away.

Our last week in Bali was just Lora and me. She had work to attend to, and I had time on my hands with a rented 'Pink' Barbie car at my disposal as I love driving, and getting a scooter in that heavy rain was not for me. So, I found a good radio station and drove around in the rain, shopping in the Seminyak area where the wheels of my car were utterly sitting in water! One day, in slightly better weather, I spent my afternoon at the pool of the W Hotel, which was peaceful, reading and people-watching, and generally got time to spend in my own great company. Reflecting and thinking of my future.
As much as I love company, it was good to get to know myself better and my goals in life with a more transparent and productive perspective.

I had been smoking pot most nights of the week for the past, God knows how many years, and not having any during my long trip did not bother me one single bit. Ok, I didn't smoke like a rasta, but mainly in the evenings as opposed to the many drinks my friends would typically have. It made me a more fun person, perhaps a little madder than most. But actually, it was ALL habit. It becomes an unnecessary' habit if you repeatedly do something for many years. Hey, I'm not saying I'll never smoke pot again, but I realised it does not make me the person I am.
As my dear therapist of those eleven years ago asked me about five years ago when I went to see him for one session:
"Haldita," he said, "I understand why you had to smoke joints all those difficult years of marriage, to keep silent your inner child, to hide behind a clouded smoke to ease your pain. But you don't need that now. You're a woman with higher paths; there is no need to cloud away the bright future that awaits you."
God Bless you, Francois, for your loving support. I sent him a note again before Christmas to thank him for his wisdom and help finding myself. And that road is endless.

Thanks to that cock, or rooster in this case, I now wake up at the crack of dawn, still! And I want to go to bed around midnight, which is very early but good for me. 

Despite a blow I had on the night of coming home to London, I am absolutely determined to make my new business work. When I visited my lovely five-element acupuncturist yesterday, I asked for 'wisdom and strength'.

The entrance of W Hotel Bali

Lora has been visiting me in London for a few days now. I am so grateful for her friendship, hospitality, those magnificent yoga classes we attended, and all the learning we had in each other's company. The W here for me and my friends stands for the 'World-Wide Wonderful Women' in my life.  

Wonderful, Worthy, Wacky, Whoopy, Worldly, Wobbly!

 

Shroominating in Gili Trawangan

What is a day if not for the experiences experimented on?

Hence, my quest for mushrooms began. Rain poured on and off as we strolled around the island's wet, sandy pathway in the warmth of the air. The road was full of various board signs advertising the magic of the fungi. 

To the moon and back!

My latte mushroom cocktail

    

At a drinks stall, I asked the seller for directions as to how the banana leaf of handpicked mushrooms was to be taken, and she, in return, showed me the drinks fridge:

"Take one, Coca-Cola? Juice?"

I opted for the latte mix. She poured the can of coffee into a blender, topped it up with the magic goodies, plugged the machine in for the mixture, and handed it back to me in a plastic cup with a straw. 100,000 rupiah was the price, roughly ten dollars.

I walked around happily with my special drink, 'mushy cocktail' as I called it, while Lora looked for a place to settle in. We found a spot on the high bed of the open-air hut, cushioned by colourful fabrics, to lay ourselves comfortably. I watched the scenery of the sea, the early evening fall and the island of Lombok opposite while sipping half my mushy drink.

 

     

The view from the hut

 

We settled into the tranquillity of the scenery and watched the world go by as I drank half the mushroom-tasting cafe latte through the straw. Frankly, did not quite dare drink it all. We sat there for ages while Lora investigated my state of being too often by asking:

"Are you feeling it yet?"

"Honest Lora," I would answer, "No. Nada de nada."  

In other words, Nothing. But the calmness in the air was so relaxing that no substitute was necessary to get me high. Besides, who would I laugh with if my comic sense of humour arose and I wanted to giggle as the outcome of taking mushrooms led to? Lora and I were amused often enough at what we said!

I wanted more to report, such as how the roots of the trees nearby began coming alive in mysterious ways or the waves of the sea turning into some sort of creature. Still, I decided to leave that experience aside as the one I had trying chocolate mushrooms in Ibiza, which was a fun memory not to be repeated on this occasion.  

The night fell, and we walked to the Beach Bar restaurant. We picked the fresh fish lying on ice carriers, asked them to be grilled over a real fire, and served at our table.

One last stop was with our laptops in hand, on the loungy armchairs of Scallywags hotel, lying by the road, watching the traffic pass by and engaging in conversation with the Swiss explorer at one table and the Spanish traveller who had been throughout India and was continuing on her journey to Vietnam, before retiring to bed.

Our last day in Gili was partially sunny. However, due to the earthquake happening on the Western side of Indonesia, the speed boats were cancelled as the crossing, which happens to be one of deepest of seas, combined with the aftershocks, must have turned the waters turbulent with estimated 10-meter-high waves. There was another way of getting back to Bali on a small yellow speed boat to Lombok, a taxi ride of two hours through the island and a small plane ride, which would have totalled a seven-hour journey as opposed to the one-hour fifty-minute boat ride it took us to get there. The agent reassured us of a speed boat traversing the following morning at 11.30am.  

The weather was good, and we lounged on the beach beds, where we ate a Mie Goreng lunch (Indonesian noodle dish), followed by a long walk around the island now that the rain had stopped.

A branch of Lost Soles!

 

The walk by the sea took two and a half hours, during which we enjoyed the calm of the sea and the emptiness of the beaches we trespassed, each at her own pace.  

We returned before nightfall for a bite at Scallywags, which could have been better than the previous chef had left. At 8 pm, we were followed by an hour and a half of massage by the best hands a masseuse could possess.

Another last day approached, and we were informed that the waves had not calmed and the particular boat was not moving that day either. So, we decided to take the long route and drive through Lombok Island.

I just got home to London last night via a night stop in Dubai and am somewhat shattered. The jet lag woke me up at 5:50am this morning, and it has been a long working day. But before I left, a saying was engraved onto a piece of wood at the end of our walk that day; it simply read...

Happiness is Within

Giggling in Gili Island... Indonesia

Venture into life's new experiences and revel in the luxury of unaccustomed pleasures.

I woke this morning thinking, 'I wanna go home now'! Then, on second thought, I told myself...

"Hey woman, you're in Bali, in the heat, despite the heavy downpours, walking around in a light, chiffon dress at most, the generosity of Lora's hospitality, feeling the great vibe this island has to offer and... Wanting to go home?!? How bloody spoilt is that?'
So, putting on a new, fresh-thinking cap, I feel blessed and grateful.

On Sunday, when the whole house of guests was to leave, Lora and I went even earlier, at 7am, to venture out to a new island... Gili Trawangan.
We woke up at the crack of dawn, 5.45am, to be picked up at 6.15am by the minibus organised through the travel agent to drive us to the other side of Bali for a speed boat journey to Gili. Of course, the driver arrived 45 minutes late, but we still made it to the crossing.

Lora fell asleep during the 1-hour 50-minute journey while I watched the boat driver skilfully manoeuvre us through the very high waves, almost as tall as our boat of 40 seats and only ten fellow travellers. The only thing I could do was be positive and keep praying for our safe arrival.
We made it to the Gili Trawangan island, and I am here telling the tale!  
There were no cars but bicycles and horse carriages on the island, which we took to our hotel, Vila Ombak.

Drinks upon arrival

The route to our room at Vila Ombak

We checked into our room, left the one carry-on luggage behind and began our hike around the island as there was no sun in view. Shortly after, we noticed the modern Trawangan hotel. At the same time, the clouds opened their pores, and the rain gave us no choice but to take refuge in the restaurant situated at the back of the inn, watching the serenity of the scenery while sipping on our fresh pineapple juice mixed with mint, a taste I had acquired visiting Rio. We sat there watching the downpour onto the green fields of palm trees, standing across where we were seated. The landscape was a postcard.

As soon as the rain stopped, we passed by a tree house built on the beach belonging to the hotel and continued our walk. Not long after, another storm hit us, and we again had to hide under another straw hut, which happened to be a bar with great music called... What else but 'The Exile'! Here, we ordered a couple of Caipirinhas, on the island mode, sipping on our cocktails, watching the heavy downpour (yet again) and listening to 'Oh Lord! Please don't let me be misunderstood. How appropriate, yet I wondered why give a nickel as to how others perceive me? When there are always those who get me.

Another downpour over, we continued on. This time, we passed by white, sandy beaches with no one in sight. Except for the man carrying his goods the old-fashioned way until... What? More rain? I thought the weather was terrible in England with all the heavenly waters pouring upon us!

It was not long again before... Yep, you guessed it.
More wet? There were no open bars this time, but a derelict one appeared, and we hid under the elongated roof of the empty space. From the other side came two guys to do as we did. I started talking to them as there was nothing else to be done. Two Italians who had moved to Perth and were now on holiday in Gili.
The painter and the waiter!


The only dry space was a bench-like area on the floor, where we all sat in tranquillity, observing the rain with the view of the light blue sea ahead.
They left before the dry patch while Lora and I waited a little longer for the right moment before we made our way to another spot under only a cloudy sky.


For the umph time, we were not saved from yet another soaking moment, and this time round, we made a pit-stop at the hotel Villa Julius, where hunger struck, and we devoured the noodles with seafood.
There were no signs of the rain stopping, so we asked the hotel to call us a carriage to take us back to our residence. In fact, our estimated two-and-a-half-hour walk around the island took us four and a half hours halfway through!  


The one availability I was promised on the island was mushroom! Shiba had texted me from London to make sure I visited Gili on the same day we went to book our trip to the island!
As Lora put it: "Everyone on Gili is 'shroominating! Or getting high."
Well, the poster sale signs of mushrooms were clearly in view. Not long ago, they were sold in Camden coffee shops in London! It is organic, after all.


Now, my experience of the above 'organics' plus the delay of our journey back due to the 10m high waves in the sea from the Indonesian earthquake that we had no idea about...
To follow!

Christmas in London. New Year in Bali! & Dubai in between

I wish everyone in the world the happiest New Year's in 2012.  

Going back to Christmas in London... Saturday 24th December, my appointment with Sylvia awaited in the afternoon. It was Christmas Eve, and I had invited five friends over for dinner at my place, all at the last minute. Something about that Samurai sword I had picked up in the black cab bothered me; hence, the decision to get rid of it became inevitable.  
What was I to do? Take it to the Police station and say what exactly? Especially having been told it's illegal to keep it at home! I envisaged myself with the police:
'Excuse me, Sir, I've picked up this sword in a black cab, took it home with me and then decided I don't really wanna keep it, so here you are!' Mmm... Perhaps not.
And what if I threw it away and someone found it, only to commit some God-forbidden incident with it? The thought made me cringe. I wondered about leaving it outside a Chinese restaurant; it could come in handy for chopping as the sharpness of the blade shone every time I took it out of the box to have another look at the monstrous tool. Couldn't do that either, as some passer-by could pick it up and return to the evil act. With my fingerprints on! Greaaaat.

I recalled my young friend Salar's words of wisdom... What is found on the floor (or cab, in this case) stays on the floor!  
There was no way I wanted the sword in my apartment, so I picked a large black fabric bag from a well-known fashion house to carry the knife to my appointment, followed by grocery shopping at Harrods and M&S, then handing it to a charity shop on my way home. I am still trying to figure out how I would explain the situation.
By the time I finished all my chores, praying I would not, for some strange reason, be stopped by the police and searched carrying a Samurai Sword around town, all the shops had closed by 5.30pm. Damn!
Still not giving up, I walked towards the Charity shop, relieved I would, at least, not have to face a sales assistant with an explanation. Meanwhile, in my mind, I envisaged a glass door to the shop with a letterbox at the bottom of a wooden frame to fit the box in. I honestly prayed and closed my eyes as I got close. When I opened my eyes, to my absolute delight, the door was exactly as I had hoped, with a letterbox big enough to fit the container of the sword in! Oooooffff! What a relief. Mission accomplished, I hurried home to prepare a table of starters for my dear guests.

My relatively new artist friend Aldo arrived with an introduction to his partner, Nico. Followed by Omar and Bobby, whom I met about seven years ago when they first moved to London. Tila joined, too. Bobby and I were involved in such deep conversation that I forgot to check on the beautiful meal my housekeeper had prepared the day before. When I realised, a good part of the meal was burned! And there is me promising my boy I shall learn to cook for him again in the New Year. Oh well, the most important thing was 'being together', and what was left of the food still tasted great.
After all these years, I finally managed to get to the midnight Christmas mass at Brompton Oratory with my good buddies. It reminded me of my choir days at boarding school.

Despite all the great invites for Christmas Day, I was happy to spend it with Charlotte, Nicolas and their boy. It was a relaxing day where we truly got to talk, and my friends' remarks reflected how far I have come over the years. Nicolas said:
"Haldita, in all the years I've known you, I didn't realise your wisdom. You're always surrounded by friends and enjoying life, but we never got to the depth of your thoughts!"
I answered: "If only people understood that madness is my wisdom. Why take matters too seriously when life is so short. Enjoy. Live and let live. I've nothing to prove to anyone after all."

I had to pack on Monday as my evening flight to Dubai awaited. In the cab on the way to the airport, I texted in answer to Gio:
'Ooooff! Finally, in the smelly cab on the way to Heathrow. I simply just don't get this concept of travelling light?!?'
And that is true as my 28kg luggage weighed heavily on the scales, but thank goodness, Emirates is better than most mean airlines.

Seeing Lora at her villa in Dubai's Al Manara was a pleasure. The four-bedroom house was swamped with ladies from all corners of the world now living there.
Despite my many previous visits, the city of high rises and global ex-pats had felt rather soulless, not quite my scene. Everyone seemed to live there temporarily, with the idea of making a buck or two and then leaving. With all the islands in the world, they still built a Palm Island, all the natural ski resorts everywhere, and a ski slope inside a shopping mall!  

On this trip, Lora's worldly connections over years of working there made me look at the city in a new light. Instead of visiting shopping malls, she left me in the great company of two lady DJ friends. At the same time, she attended to her daily chores, and the lovely ladies of music accompanied me for a pleasant afternoon, sitting by the sea, absorbing the beauty of nature on an almost stranded beach area. The weather was perfect for that time of year, and I spent some time on my own, meditating and stretching while the girls took a stroll on the sand. I took some great shots, which I shall download here soon.


The four of us (Lora, two DJ friends and Moi) began at the relatively new Mahiki Club in the evening. I must admit the sister club in London has never been one I cared to visit, and here, the smokey surroundings with the kind of music I dread hearing made it quite intolerable for my liking. Thank goodness we left to try out the white and modern Siddharta Lounge at the Grosvenor House, then onto Toro Toro, where I saw a London friend who was insisting I joined her at the opening of the London's Movida Club that evening in Dubai (which I thankfully refused) and finished the night off with a nightcap at The Embassy Club; getting further acquainted.

On my last and second evenings, Lora drove me to her good friend Ravi's barbecue at his family's lavish villa. What an incredibly hospitable family. The food was divine, especially those chicken skewers and the company of their friends made my stay in Dubai by far the best I can recall. Once again, my words of wisdom to a gorgeous newlywed couple made a temporary impact. Or so I hope.
The only thing I missed was the company of my brother Soltan, who had been almost my only reason for visiting the city in the past, but he did not live there any longer.

Lora and I had a 4:40am flight to catch to Jakarta. The one-hour stopover to follow on to our final destination of Bali got delayed, and we almost missed our flight having a massage at the airport parlour!

We arrived in Bali late that evening and found the only restaurant serving food at 11pm. Tulip was a Turkish eatery, good enough to feed our hunger.
In the morning, we had breakfast at Bali Buddha, where I saw a good-looking stranger pass by our table. On second glance, I knew exactly who that was. Well, almost. Walked to his outside table, as he sat in beautiful company and said:
"Christopher?"
He pleasantly replied 'no' to my question, hiding behind his dark sunglasses.
"But I know you." I insisted. "What's your name?"
"Seppe." He answered and smiled immediately in recognition, then stood up to greet me:
"Haldita, hi."
Think everyone knows I am shit with remembering names! I am the first to confess that the list of names is endless.


That afternoon, I spent most of the time alone, lying on the lawn at Kudeta, sipping fresh juice, listening to great music, absorbing the sun and observing everything and everyone. Love people watching. Eventually, Lora and Seppe joined me for an innocent cocktail.
In the evening, Lora suggested dinner at her favourite Dahana Indonesian. As we were leaving the place at the end of a deliciously freshly made meal, who did I bump into? The gorgeous Mireille with whom I had been partying in Fabric only a few weeks earlier! What a small world it really is! Wow.
Lora, the couple accompanying us and I, then went on to Metis, a very fancy restaurant where she knew the French owner, for a pistachio chocolate souffle dessert. Out of this world, especially accompanied by a bottle of Chateau Chanteloiseau 2005.


New Year's Eve was dinner in the villa, organised by Lora and cooked by her help here for all the eight of us staying in the house, followed by six of us going to a bar, where I had the Russian artist spray-paint wings on my upper chest. At the same time, we downed a couple of Sambuca shots, and her Argentinian photographer partner took a picture of my 'flying boobs'! Or so I called them.
We then were driven to 'Potato Head', where we had tickets purchased in advance to spend New Year's Eve partying there. Despite the long queue to get in, we cleverly pushed our way to the front of the VIP entrance, and I managed to pleasantly persuade the lady at the door to stamp us through the special entrance! God loves me; he must do.
Through the masses awaiting service at the bar, Lora approached the waiters' area and picked up a bottle of an exceptional tequila to get the attention of being served. As she walked away, waiting to be spotted and stopped by at least one of the staff, she managed to walk away with the bottle without being noticed! All very innocently. We were all far too tipsy to pay too much attention and went on drinking from the bottle all night, along with all the other softer drinks we bought through the night.

So much has happened in my life that I could go on writing forever!

But so did my friends ...  We began 2012 with a big bang of fireworks at Potato Head in Bali! In London two to three weeks ago, even the thought would have been far from my mind.
Go ahead and use your mind's power to make your dreams a reality.

My prayer for us all is ... May God bless us with a Healthy mind and body to overcome any obstacles and reach the top.

Life's but a masquerade!

Your life can be made into your fantasy. All you have to do is imagine yourself in a store filled with masks, and you can pick anyone at any time and open up a whole new way of thinking with whoever you decide to be, as and when you wish to do so. A mask does not necessarily mean a tool to hide behind but a new beginning with the new you. 

I had coffee with a lady I knew from many years ago and whom I bumped into in the Arts Club last week.  
That afternoon, we barely said hello before she began complaining about how hard marriage is, how selfish men are, etc. Obviously rather stressed out. It brought back memories of my past. I did not even want to go down the line of thinking about how anyone in my company felt when I expressed dissatisfaction. Then again, I was probably associating with a different group of people than my present entourage in similar situations. Relationships are not easy, and my friends at the time listened patiently and understandably, as did I on that afternoon.
I realised why we had to meet again. My advice to her was:
"There's a way out of this, and I'm not talking about divorce. You've been married for so many years. Every relationship needs work, be it with your spouse, mother, son or the friends we make along the way. You can't change anyone, but you can change yourself. Try not to let what your husband does bother you. It takes a lot of work to begin. Everything takes practice."
I did try to introduce therapy and the self-development courses that helped me, as in Landmark Forum, which was personally a breakthrough of old habits, acquiring new ones for a better way of living a fulfilled life. But when I mentioned the fourteen-hour-a-day sessions for three days to begin and four days for the Advanced course, my friend was not convinced she could do that.  

How can such sound advice go to waste? Easily. The fear of change is an obstacle one must overcome before making adequate alterations. And yet, change is vital if we want to move on to greener pastures.
We can be so set in our mind to be blinded by the corners of the four walls surrounding us, be it the walls of our homes or our minds. Well, I tried, but one has to get in a desperate state of yearning for change to do something about it.

Another visit to the Arts Club with Aisha was a joyful evening. As we stood by the bar to order our drinks, I noticed the tall figure of Prince Harry standing close by. The boy is adorable with that smile, accompanied by Graham Norton (who hosts a TV show in the UK). I had to stop going straight over to kiss him on the cheek! All I heard him say to a couple he was introduced to was:
"I'm already banned from going to that club!"
Cute.

Saturday night was yet another social call at Fabric! Again. I indeed had some magical times in that club with the friends I made there. I kept looking around me, dancing and chit-chatting with some of the most gorgeous young crowd God could have possibly created, the brightest of minds. I was in total bliss. Marco Carola (or Marco Polo as I called him when I couldn't remember his second name) rocked it till 10am. I was given a staff, Fabric Rockstar band, to get into the DJ booths. It sure was another fantastic night and morning. 
The next day, a friend who was present in Fabric, Greko, Facebooked me and mentioned:
'Haldita, the last time I saw you in the VIP this morning, you were accompanied by an Italian Armani model!'
It made me smile as I knew exactly who he was talking about the absolutely divine brothers who looked after me so lovingly, amongst others.

I managed three hours of sleep Sunday afternoon, then got ready to be on time for dinner at Alain and Romel's, given in celebration of Aisha's birthday. Their heavenly home was warm and inviting with the lit candles everywhere; the delicious dinner and the company of Aisha's and Pedro's friends was a delight. They were amazed at how I managed to make it after a heavy night of dancing, but again, the love I feel from everyone around me keeps me going like a Duracell battery!  
I got somewhat emotional when a newlywed couple expressed how they had worked through their differences and began a new honeymoon period. When I mentioned my prayers for their happiness, Hessa was surprised at my remark.
"Really Haldita? Did you pray for us?"
"Only God knows what I did anyway. Nothing makes me happier than to see people find happiness together."

And today, I had to attend a three-hour course on Speed Awareness! Why? Because I got three speeding tickets this summer. Oh dear. No good. Considering all the years of driving worldwide and being dumped with three tickets in two months.  
At the course, I almost fell asleep twice when I saw the speaker standing above, waiting for me to answer a question she had asked during my nap.  
It was not an easy day as I had to call the plumber again to fix the toilet. My car, which had been MOTed last week, needed more oil signs. To add to my reckless day, I fell on the wooden floor on one knee and slid across the corridor, banging my left fingers on the skirting. Ouch! I can barely type from the pain, but the pain is a matter of the mind as long as nothing is broken. When enduring physical pain in the past, my body became numb to it after a while, and I have worked through the scars in my mind as of the cause. No pain, no gain. Although I'm still determining what I gained from the fall!

No one said life was easy, and you bet it ain't. The main thing is that I learned my lessons well, and the new world that opened up as a result is one that I would not change with anyone, anywhere.  

Going through life's masquerade, every mask I pick has a big smile.

It's not a Destination but a Journey

Christmas or no Christmas, my partying continues!

For someone who has no plans for most of the week on a Monday, it is MDAaaamazing (no stopping me now!) to find events to attend daily on a last-minute basis. That's the way I like it. Aha aha.
After booking my ticket on Boxing Day, I am filled with joy, flying to a warm, sunny corner of the world in great company. Actually, I can wait. Great things come to those who wait! Besides, there is so much happening in London regarding Christmas parties.

Thoughts meander in my mind, like a wind twirling through a tunnel, with many ideas of varied topics I would love to write about. A friend once advised me to buy a dictaphone and speak to it in full-minded moments. I bought the gadget the following week, but it appeared complicated. Mixed with a lack of interest in reading instructions, it has been set aside, waiting to be studied on an actionless holiday, which has yet to happen in the past year! One day.

My date last week proposed dinner at the Cambio de Tercio tapas restaurant, which I had heard so much about. I must admit the food was heavenly. Combined with the fabulous company, the mid-week evening became a feast for the senses.

Where do these days and hours fly? Despite the continuation of late nights, I realised it had been ten days since I got a chance to write my blog, and even tonight, I only got home at midnight with an urge to write, or another week would pass.
I need help to keep up with myself! Again.

Last Friday, the meeting with my partner got cancelled due to a plumbing emergency in my flat. Well, shit happens. Having stayed in all day, I got ready earlier than expected to meet Heidi and Berto at The Brompton Club for dinner. Their friend Arne arrived late, a little tipsy, having attended various Christmas drinks events before the dinner. After serving the food, the restaurant turned into a club, and the crowd seemed too stuffy for my liking, so I suggested we all went down to Scrubs Lane, on another side of town, to hear two good friends DJ-saying at a warehouse. And so we drove to the designated area.

The Loft Studios could only be spotted by the doormen outside the dark road. As we entered the outdoor space, I kept seeing familiar faces of many friends and more to come as we went to the first floor, where the music was being played. It turned out to be a genuinely fantastic evening. Heidi and Berto made their way home and left me with the uncontrollable Arne. Berto had mentioned earlier through dinner:
"Haldita, you've the patience of a Saint dealing with Arne!"
At the Loft studios, every time I was greeted by the vast number of people I knew in the room, Arne appeared from behind and would try to grab me by the neck while I would try to let go of his hand by pushing it aside in a brush. This action continued throughout the night until the 5 am closure of the place. At one stage, I nailed my fingers in his toned arm and almost came out in a rage when I took hold of myself suddenly and started laughing at the situation. Arne seemed puzzled and asked: "What happened?"
There was no use explaining, so I offered to take him home on my way.

Through the crowd, the adorable face of Giancarlo, a new friend I had met at an after-party the week before, appeared; he mentioned a very private after-party at his place, which I gladly accepted but also did say:
"I'm on my own."
As Arne was standing at the bar before we left, observing, he asked:
"So, you got the guy's number?"
I was somewhat astounded by his remark and replied:
"Yep."
I did wonder what makes a guy so cocky? Sure, he was tall, good looking and I am sure, successful in business but he also had a girlfriend I had met before and besides, there is something in the mind and soul of a person that makes them 'sexy', not merely an appearance. On that thought, I decided the only way to proceed was to drive Arne home, which was on my way anyway and not make a fuss.
Needless to say, when I dropped him at his house, he kept insisting I go up for a cuddle! What happened to the old 'wanna come up for a drink' line? Haha.

I successfully dropped him off and continued the early morning at a gathering at Giancarlo's. And I met more lovely people and danced till my tired legs could take it no longer. It was funny that everyone who had been to the Loft came with white paint scattered over their shoes. I decided to keep the white paint on my grey flannel Diors and call them the latest 'Loft Diors'.

I crawled under the duvet at a decent 8 am hour to get a two-hour sleep before the plumber returned to finish fixing the toilet, followed by a photo shoot with Salvator.
At the Loft, his friend Flavio, who knew I was having my picture taken the following day, kept asking:
"Haldita, don't you've a photo shoot tomorrow?"
"Yes,"  I would reply. "Seems I do."
"So," Flavio continued. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home asleep? You'll look terrible in the morning."
"Darling," I said confidently, "I never look terrible. Don't you worry?"
Flavio shook his head, smiling. 

The photoshoot with Salvator went smoothly, as expected, over a bottle of champagne, as I am not entirely comfortable when faced with a lens.  
"Are you shy, Haldita?" Had asked another photographer earlier that week.
"Are you kidding?" I answered in amazement. "I don't think that is a word you could use in my vicinity. I must learn to look at a camera as a friend and be less egoistic about my flaws. In other words... Accept me." As in life.

I can't believe I missed a great party on Saturday evening, as I fell asleep through the night. I woke up at 2 am and wondered whether I should call my friends and join them, but sensibly, for a change, I didn't.

Sunday was a long session of lounging in front of the fireplace at Lola's, followed by a drink with Sophie at Blakes. Midnight was a decent hour to be home on a Sunday night.
As for Monday (school night for most), I still made it out at 10 pm to head towards the King's Club through the windy, rainy scene of my bedroom window. Another Christmas party, another variation of festive people.  
Tila was arriving directly from Eurostar with her carry-on luggage. The night was a good laugh with her. Aroldo was a Facebook friend with whom we had exchanged comments many times but had only met then. When I saw him standing alone, I moved closer and introduced myself.

Aroldo stood aback, browsed over me and instantly embraced me closely and lovingly. It must have been the longest and most intimate hug I ever got for a first-time meeting! All in laughter, Aroldo said:
"That must be the best laugh I've ever heard. It's because it's coming from the heart."
Talking to him about freeing one's soul and flying above life's ups and downs was delightful. We should not be bothered by others' perceptions of us but live our dreams as we choose.
The night was too good to end, so I offered a handful of like-minded few to come to my place. As we sat in the black cab for a ride home, I noticed a long, rectangular box sitting next to me. Picked it up and opened the box to be faced with a samurai sword, now held in my right hand! A couple of glasses of champagne must have gone to my head as I held the package closely as if it were gifted to me and brought it home. How many times in one's life does one find a samurai knife? Or sword?! It's like winning the lottery. Perhaps not quite. But a good omen, nevertheless.

Another late evening ended, as the early morning began with a bang! One of my guests managed to topple the coffee table over as she leaned on the side to stand up to leave. The broken champagne flutes, the now chipped antique vase of roses, all the many candles and the holders, and the full ashtrays all fell, some on the poor girl's arm and her Alaia dress. We were all in shock! I rushed towards her to see if she had not hurt herself in any way, and thank God, she seemed fine. They left apologetically as I brushed out the carpet to prepare for my boxing with the trainer in the morning! 
All I said was: "No worries. This was not the first time, and it probably won't be the last!" 

As the week continued, what an absolute feast for the taste buds at Ernest's dinner invite to the Kateh restaurant in Maida Vale. Kelly and Gracy were amongst the table of ten, privately laid out for our party in the basement. At Ernest's persistence, I managed to entertain his guests with one of my mad stories at the music conference in Miami, at the invite of Lola, accompanied by two other girlfriends on our 'Pigs on Tour' expedition of the groupies. We learned at the trip's beginning that we were all born under the Chinese Year of The Pig! Only with minor decades of gap in years. Haha

And as for the heading of the page ...  
Never think you've arrived at your destination. Once you've reached one goal, stretch out for the next. Life goes on, and the journey continues.

Domestic Goddess... To Enfant Terrible! MDAaamazing

I learned the coolest word ever last night on my tour around the city!
MDAaamazing... Wow

I'm still discussing this with Judes in the morning at my favourite club ever. Where else? But Fabric bien sure, we wondered why this word had not been heard before!
Simply because the feeling of just a couple of dabs of MDMA blows your mind away with the right music. There is such a warm feeling of love involved from the people around you, mixed in with a blend of music and lighting! How can the world feel better?
That's debatable.
Do you know how rules work? We want to find a way to break them as soon as they are set. 

For goodness sake, I am not encouraging anything that is not so obviously there. It makes me smile in irony for the hypocritical world we are living in. If something makes you feel good, teach how to do it with moderation. Not to fuck up your mind and body but to enjoy the feel and stop thinking I 'need' more. I 'need more'. When you already feel great, just go with the flow, leave behind the feeling of 'need' and enjoy the sensation. Stop thinking further again, put aside the greed for once, and honestly let go.  
Connect with people and be kind to yourself and others.
'We are here to learn and move on... Not judge'.

Really need to figure out where to begin!
I am overwhelmed by a new selection of MDAaaamazing friends I have made.  
When Sylvia; asked me:
"Haldita, you've had your ups and downs, and I have heard your troubled soul speak at times. When someone hurts you. How lonely you sometimes confess to feeling. How you've your downs, too."  She continued:  "Why don't you write about those sides of you?"
That is a perfect point, but I don't look at these times as a problem but as a new way of finding solutions for wholesome living. I may get it off my chest with a very close friend. Then I come home to my nest or feel the love surrounding me wherever I go, and Everything is alright after that. I smile, always count my blessings, and pray for even more love, tolerance, and understanding of how we can all help with our unconditional love to make this world a better, more loving place.  
'Let's bring back compassion... Into fashion!'
My latest Motto.

Lori, whom I met about 4 years ago through the Ex. He had mentioned Lori (a friend of his) was travelling to the furniture exhibitions in the Far East and asked whether I was happy to join her in Jakarta, having never met before. He did mention:
"Well, she's a bit mad, and you two will get on like a house on fire!" 
Of course, I agreed, and our fun friendship began as of the first moment we met. We went to the exhibitions during the day and partied at night, and boy, did we shop! The Dragonfly Club was excellent in Jakarta. We then travelled to Kuala Lumpur, where one of Lori's admirers joined us to visit the vast expo, followed by a cocktail in the street full of bars and clubs, where we downed those sweet drinks and ended up dancing in a club with an international entourage of the male species. All these years later, she reminded me of some hot guy I met that night and only got back in the morning with curly, fuzzy hair like 'Tina Turner gone mad!' 

In Bangkok, there is another more significant fair to cover over four floors. This was followed by one evening at a bar on the roof of a high-rise hotel where we talked in a foreign language, thinking no one would understand; utter rubbish, basically having a laugh. It all began when I started flirting with a tall, handsome guy at the bar, only to realise a transvestite approaching and intimately talking to the guy in their language. They were clearly an item. So we were jokingly saying...
"See? The world's gone haywire! I'm just gonna pretend I'm a man. More chance of being pulled that way!"
Roaring with laughter and swearing away, a guy standing next to us, accompanied by another, began speaking to us in our native language! That was absolutely the last thing we could have imagined. They were cool as I told them off for listening to our terrible language and not coming out sooner! We laughed.
In Bali, Lori rented us a house in the Seminyak area, which I absolutely loved. With its unique boutiques and rows of Buddha heads and stone, decorative garden pieces lie in open-air ground stretches. Paul Robb had a sale on, and we went mad in there.

Lori had texted that she would be in London on Wednesday, and we arranged to meet at Chelsea Harbour, followed by my place, to chill over a light supper and a bottle of Mazis-Chambertin, Grand Cru 2004. Yummy. She was tired and went to bed at 11.30pm, whereas I left the house at midnight by Gracy's persistence to head to the new Le Baron club in Mayfair. I must be mad. 

Thursday was another wine-tasting evening with Charlotte and Nicolas at The Travellers Gentleman's Club. Mr Egon Muller talked gently through each wine we tasted, starting with a Riesling 2009 and ending with a Trockenbeerenauslese 1989. That sure was a mouthful.

I woke up Saturday morning thinking, 'My housekeeper has been away for the past three weeks'. An urge of cleanliness took over me. I rolled a light spliff, put on some excellent music and the domestic Goddess in me arose. I even cooked! Now, that's a first in a loooong time. Called Guilda at 3pm, and she came around for another catch-up and lunch accompanied by another bottle of great wine, Barolo.

I had been soooo domestically correct that the need to riot filled my mind (and my soul, for that matter). I took Ernest's offer to join him, Kelly and Gracy, with a couple of his new-found gem of friends to give Le Baron club another try. I tell you, we confessed to never having been shoved as many times by some young, half-drunk girls without a single apologetic sign! The music was mediocre, and we finally gave up. My friends went their way, and Madam here, headed to Fabric again to see Gabi, dance to Marcel Dettmann in the DJ booth, and just watch this Viking-like playing his Techno tunes.
There was no flirting from my side; he had a ring on.  

Suddenly, a friendly face appeared in front of me, moving from one room to another. It was none but the charming Kaisar whom I met a year and a half earlier, same place, and we had an after party at mine with the gorgeous Miami girls and other people I had met that morning in the club. In July, we saw one another in the Rock Star Club in Mykonos, and here we were again! Once Craig Richards stopped playing, we headed to a house party in Chelsea. Fantastic music for that morning, great company of an eclectic, wild bunch of amigos, feeling the love.

I got home after midday to head to bed with another... You got it, a massive smile on my sunny face despite the clouds outside.
It's MDAaaamazing, where half an ecstasy can take you... The sky and beyond!
Naughty but moderate! Aha