R.E.A.L. Let's be Real

It has been an emotional day for me today.  'What... You mean another one?' You may ask?
Yep... Another one.

It began with a message from Aisha:
Pedro's father passed away. So sad.
My dear friends, hope you don't mind me sharing this here.
It touched me deeply as it was the third death of a father of friends, I heard of since mine passed away on New Year's Eve.  It makes me cry to think of him not being around when I visit my hometown soon. It is a tough one and I have spent most of this year grieving in my own silence when I am on my own. But this also gave me the chance to spend more time at home and reflect on my life. I can only speak of my own experience but he has been with me, guiding me, helping me with the rest of the forces of the deceased who were close to me and touched me in one way or another.

Through moments of despair, he was there to help me reach out and look into new pastures and ways to make my life a more satisfying existence. Don't underestimate the power of the love of your family and friends; they never leave your side until our time comes to join them in spirit.
'I cherish everyone I love in this life and the ones who have left me physically.'

Now to move on to the many other aspects of my day. Got invited to a spaghetti bolognese, homemade by Aisha. The greatest chef, ever. Some catching up and good girlie advice from my friend.
The dark-haired, beauty Risha arrived to join us for a Turkish coffee. She told us of her summer away and mentioned the subjects of her new paintings. She is an artist inside and out. So full of love.

I had to part in order to get home, change... yes, another outfit and pick up Sinalda for dinner at the private Century Club in Soho, followed by the theatre.  We saw 'Educating Rita'. Based on the movie with Michael Caine and Julie Walters.
"Who was the actress playing against Michael Caine?" Asked Sinalda.
"Mmm... I think it was Julia... no Julie Walters?" I remembered magically!
"No, Julie Walters is an older lady, the actress was young." Exclaimed Sinalda.
"Darling... That movie was some 20 years ago!  She would be an older lady by now!" I said laughing.
"Haha... Was it? Yes, you are right it was!" My friend agreed. "Have we gotten that much older too?"
"Well, if the 20 years have passed so fast that we didn't even realize it, then it couldn't have been that bad.  Especially that we are here now, with a much wiser understanding of what we want and we don't."  Were my thoughts coming out in words.

We watched the play halfway and decided to go out for the intermission.  It was pouring rain!  What's new ...  in London.
"I am enjoying it but it's a little repetitive."  Were Sinalda's view on the play.
"Darling, you were yawning ...  quite a lot!"  I responded.
"No... I saw you were yawning!"
"Haha... yes I yawned once after seeing you do it. It is contagious you know!"
"Really?? I didn't realise I was yawning at all!"
"So shall we leave?" I said relieved.
"Well, it is good but we have seen it." Sinalda did not want to disappoint me.
"Let's go but we won't tell anyone we left in the middle!" Oh... I was glad.
"Of course not!" She hailed the first cab.

Sinalda dropped me off at the Century Club once more to go and pay a short visit to darling Dory who had been the manageress since I started going there and had always... But I mean always welcomed me with the warmest smile and open arms.  She had informed me earlier to be going back to her homeland in the weeks to come and I had said to try and come back to see her.

Dory and I sat to a glass of champagne and got really bonded after so long. She was another person dear to my heart, whom I barely saw, which was irrelevant to the fact that we had made the connection of 'friendship' from the first moment we met.
"My time has come to leave and go back home," Dory said to my dismay. "After my father passed away and having spent time with my family before he died, I realized how important family really is and how I want to spend time with them."  She said with a heart-warming expression on her youthful, dark-complexioned face.
"And you are right my dear. I can't believe it has taken us all this time to actually sit and talk." I said.
"I am a believer that things happen for a reason. You must come and visit me." Were Dory's kind words.
"Oh!  And I shall. In good time. As it happens, I have met up with Sandra; a friend who also moved back some years ago and we are in contact again. She has kindly invited me over too.  And I can think of another friend insisting I visit as well! I must just say how special you are and how much I loved you from the moment we met." I was crying by then.
"The feeling is mutual.  Let's meet before I leave." Dory said as I took my umbrella out, ready to leave home.

When I say be real... Be true to yourself.
As I walked in the door, it was telephone conversations with friends over the value we give ourselves that got my attention.
We do at times feel an emptiness within which boils down to a lack of self-love. And the first person who would fill up that void temporarily 'would do'.  We start friendships, relationships where others around us can see and try to tell us of our wrongdoing. Listen... We have All been there, one way or another.  But we choose to learn it our way... and that is a choice to be respected.

At these times, I tell myself...
'Haldita, be real here. Look around you, what has life and all these years of observing and hopefully learning, taught you?'
'If a person has done you wrong and hurt you, one way or another, over and over again... Are you going to let this go on and on till it becomes ugly and it brings you down? Or will you save those 'precious' moments by letting it GO. Blow it in the air like a feather and let go. No one is more precious than you.'
If I am not whole, if I don't love myself and who I am and what my life is about, then how can I truly show the love I feel for others because one way or another, I will make them wrong.
Please say it with me... Dear Lord, I thank you for who I am. I love myself. All I want to feel is love and that is all I want to give.

Now, you see when I said I was feeling emotional, it was heart-felt.
Love thy Father, thy Mother and thy neighbour... God Bless

Good memories... are precious

Goodness, more going out... and going out...  and going out!
Even I can't keep up with myself here. Have been meaning to come back to the South America trip but then so much is happening in my world, daily!

I saw Shiba this afternoon for a whizz through the design exhibition. It seemed as though not much had changed since I last visited this show. We were discussing our views after many years of doing exhibitions of designs in different parts of the world; from Paris to New York.

"Why is it that as we get older, we have less tolerance? Like the exhibition today, I just couldn't be bothered to see the same old things again, especially having been to the Paris design show which is always spectacular. Those Parisians really know how to do it. Don't you think?" Shiba was talking as we took a walk around the shops after our visit.
"I think as we get older and have seen so much around the world, everything starts to have a different meaning. Our views widen and we have seen enough to know what we like most.  While our choice becomes more limited as we have grasped a better meaning of our taste in design, in food, in how we choose to live our lives and even the people we tolerate and others whom we feel best to keep away from." Was my point of view.

As we walked around the shops, Shiba picked clothes to try on while I sat on a chair and watched.
"Are you sick or something? Let me see if you have any fever!" Shiba said. "How come you are not trying any clothes. This is so unlike you!"
"I'm kind of exhausted. It's been so many late nights and besides, I have no space in my cupboards left! Really don't need any more clothes." I answered.
"It hasn't stopped you before." Shiba laughed.
"True. There is hope for us all." Was my response.
"So... What's been happening?" My friend was curious.

Saturday night, my friend Isabella was working at an event in Shoreditch; an area of London which has become the party-goers' in-place to be. With Troy, We drove through the crowds of people hanging around in the streets; whether waiting at the entrance of a club or drinking away outside the pubs where they could smoke... And with this no-smoking ban, it seems the whole outdoor area of the streets with bars and restaurants has turned into smoking! Finally, with the help of the annoying sat nav, we got to our destination. We were then joined by Isabella and her friend to descend to our favourite dancing destination; our underground disco!

It was like letting some kindergarden kids loose into their favourite playground. It is interesting how different places have different meanings and memories for us all. With my passion for dancing throughout my life... I so wanted to be a ballet dancer at the age of five. Then I used to dance at my parents' parties from a young age in front of a salon full of guests; on my own, to a special music. I took salsa classes later in life, then some classical dancing. Could have made a career of it perhaps? Or perhaps NOT. Some passions are private and by that I mean, not everything in life is for sale.
In order to keep sane, away from our daily routine, it is good to find something... anything to occupy our mind and excite our souls. To make us smile and feel, life is good. I chose the company of friends and dancing.

We strolled from one room with a different dj to another, greeted some house djs who have become friends through the course of the time spent there and generally chatted to people and danced the night away.
As we entered room 2; where a great sound of techno was being played, a boy appeared face to face with me. As our eyes met, there was a sudden sparkle, I had not felt like this in a long time.  He was handsome beyond words, with big blue eyes with long eyelashes, a half-bearded face with a bone structure of the statue of David and the way he looked at me... He made me melt in my skin. And... He spoke French. All I could see was this stunning face and the top part of his white shirt. I had my one feather earring on with jeans and a white top, must have been looking way under my age! I must have been so besotted by him that I barely remember the conversation that went on between us. Beauty is to be admired, in any shape or form. I cannot even recall his name!!
He took my hand and directed me to the seat by the wall and sat himself while I stood dancing close to him. My hands leaned against the wall, as I danced up and down towards his face and touched his ears with the tip of my tongue. He was simply starring at me, encouraging me to go further. Now that I think of it, just like a madonna video!

Once the music changed, he stood up, I said: "See you." And left the room while he agreed and went on to join his friends.

I went to find my friends and continued the night dancing with yet a bigger smile.
Isabella appeared sometime later with her hands up in the air: "Where were you? I told you he was coming up with his friend to see you. To wait. They came up, we looked for you for half an hour and they left!  He kept asking for you."
"Oh well... C'est la vie!" I said in a cool way.

Sometimes good memories are all we need to keep us smiling. We can't have everything... All the time.

Music elevates the soul

It has been yet another extraordinary week of meeting up with friends from the past and re-kindling with others I had not been able to meet up with due to... Life!

It was kind of expected for me to carry on with the Shakira story... She is known almost by all and I shall continue... But I have an endless queue of stories popping up in my mind like a slideshow of photos passing by on a computer screen. So let me be who I really am... A woman who lives by my heart and where it takes me...

My Ex husband once read a few pages that I had typed, many years ago and totally encouraged me to write. But that was a long time ago and I sure didn't have the balls to continue. He also gave me a book 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron to get me started on writing... No wonder my family are so fond of him... I am very fond of him. He is a special man. But I wasn't ready. My therapist suggested it many years ago... Nope... Not ready...  I have pages here and there... And, timing again...

Now... How can I begin to express in a few lines here, all the emotions that have been feeling in every cell of my body in the past... hours, days, weeks, years and... Now.

My dear friend and partner in crime, Troy 'the albino brother' as he calls himself, have become such good buddies since I 'adopted' him when we met some five years ago in that underground rave scene. He informed me of his new job and moving to a sunny island far away in a month!  

It is hard to think that such a good friend, who has been so caring and loving shall not be within easy reach to meet as and when. But, you know what? We go back to the 'law of detachment'. I sure had to learn that well. In our modern lives travel has made up a large part of it for most of us. These are the people I happen to meet and with the 'lovely' weather here in London... How else can I put the drop in temperature from 22 C down to... Gosh, it felt bitterly cold to me!  
Did I run with my thoughts again??

Charlotte, another... sister I  have adopted... (Just decided to super-extend my family on Earth) also joined in with Troy and my absolutely charming, funny, bright, gorgeous Girl (my daughter)... What can I say? I am a mother...  to attend a piano concert with an orchestra, conducted by an old family friend.

Listening to the sound of that piano, with that gentle power that each key played to shake every vertebra of my body into a wave-like caress... it is a feeling that is individual... I fly with music. My world is fulfilled... Beauty speaks to me, not in a physical form but an emotional beauty. When I am not dancing physically to music that inspires me, I am definitely doing it internally.

I felt so absolutely delighted to meet my old friend The Conductor attached to such a truly beautiful woman. I felt we just connected immediately. The angelic sound of their beautiful daughter, so young and so confident, singing with a voice to touch every soul, was breathtaking... Then for him to play the music I grew up with... It brought back memories of love, friendship, and closeness. Of family and friends alike in 'La Belle Epoque' of our lives. Thank God for great memories. They keep us lifted and alive and give us the strength to go on... And on... And... Well, you know the rest.

Charlotte and Tory joined me to follow on to... Yet another amazing party at Aisha's.  Pedro; Aisha's absolutely adorable other half, greets me by putting me against the wall, leaning towards me and saying:... "Haldita, so are you gonna write that I threw you against the wall and..." Honestly...  I was laughing so loud, I can't remember how that sentence finished. He was mucking about of course.

My Darling Aisha looked as stunning as always, being the great hostess. This girl sure knows how to entertain herself and absolutely everyone around her. Always lovely to hug her. At this party, it was such a joy, to reconnect with friends who have gotten engaged and witness for that moment, their happiness in finding one another. It is about now!

So, let's go to Charlotte... Now, this girl has a sense of humour that cracks me up! In fact, she spent most of the evening teasing Troy about how he is going to be miserable on that far-away sunny island away from his lovely friends; us here in London.

This is her talking: "Alright... You go, Troy. I feel sorry for you. All alone on an island with your dog and the dolphins to talk to... You'll come back speaking 'fish' language... brrrut... brrrut... !" We would laugh while Troy would think and reply: 
"Yep, I'll be swimming, fishing, playing golf and that wouldn't be easy. But you're all coming to visit."

"You'll be so sad, sitting under a tree, not catching any fish and crying 'coz you miss your friends!" She would go on and on, relentlessly but all in the name of fun.

Charlotte is frank and open in a way that she would say what she thinks... ban ... with a funny twist. If you don't quite get her sense of humour people can be offended at times. even if momentarily! Her 'twisted' tongue adds extra character to her loving nature. Her heart is as pure as gold, despite how she sometimes tries to pretend that she is tough!  yeah right!

She and I met through a passing acquaintance not long after my separation. Charlotte and her supportive partner, Nicolas, have been family to me.

More blessings sent from heavens above to enrichen my life further... I keep saying... You can never have enough friends!

Rio... I love Rio

The bottom line is... Who truly wouldn't want to live a life of freedom?

Where you can say absolutely anything you wanted and do just as you please, without upsetting anyone?

If they had shown me a clip from a mini-showdown of my life now... A free-spirited woman, making her life... Her fantasy. I would have laughed at the impossibility of the idea! We each have the tools hidden within us to make space for new possibilities in our lives. Whether we choose to use them in our own way or keep them hidden forever yearning to get out... Is our choice and our right.

Travelling to South America had always been a 'dream'. It was time to make that dream into reality.

Hala and I took a month off to visit a few destinations in the continent of 'incredible bodies', the natural beauty of the land, 'steak and red wine' and 'modern apartment blocks' for the 'extra' cash around.

Our first destination was Rio - a picturesque city. The balcony of our twelfth-floor hotel room faced the Ipanema beach; a never-ending bay with wide sandy beaches and a wavy sea. The Portuguese-tiled, black-and-white promenade onto the road which was closed off to cars on Sundays is where a crowd of all ages kept fit by power walking and jogging in both directions. Others played volleyball in their perfect bodies. We were told that the majority of people here had plastic surgery from a young age. I can't quite believe that!  They sure looked natural!

Each promenade, as in Ipanema Beach and Copacabana Beach had their own individual design of black and white tiles. These tiles were brought in by the Portuguese on board ships as ballast to be replaced by treasures from the islands, after the 1808 fleeing of the Portuguese monarchy to Rio from threat of the Napoleonic invasion.

Our hotel view overlooked the twin peaks of 'dois Irmois', the two brothers, blunt like two crayon tips. Apparently, the locals called them 'The Two Tits'! They may be that... Just not the surgically enhanced sort!

On our first night, we met up with our relatively new friend (at the time) from London, also visiting Rio. Connor had met a cute Brazilian girl who joined us with her friend and all the stories of 'the friend' having been approached by a couple of old-time swingers from San Francisco!

Being in Rio was like being at home! We fitted the part of 'los Cariocas', the natives quite well. We went to a local restaurant with the group of friends Connor had accumulated since his arrival a few days ahead of us.

Next to our table of six, was a Scandinavian-looking man. Fit, so he must be living there.  Tanned, golden brown with white skin which had been getting a fair share of the sun; with a shaved head and blue colour eyes. He was dining on his own and simply glanced our way as we settled into our seats, mine being the closest to his table. I let a little time pass, he was definitely on his own. Although he seemed to be reading, his attention had clearly been diverted by our noisy arrival.

"Hello, I'm Haldita. And you?" I questioned the poor guy before he knew what hit him!

"Hi, I am Swen," he said with a dry smile. Well, he was fit enough to be an older footballer of about late forties but definitely not the football manager!

He quickly softened up in a friendly but detached manner; as if he didn't want to give too much away about himself, which always makes me more curious. Fair enough! I would say he was one of those 'exile characters'... A fugitive in Rio!

Swen joined us on the beach the next day and only gave away a slight hint of his 'ideal' lifestyle in this city of marvel with the hottest young babes any city could offer and how business through the internet brings many possibilities worldwide. It was interesting meeting him as he left us after a very pleasant afternoon of chatting and people-watching, not to be seen again.

We visited the city's many attractions. Once out of the bubble that carried us to the top of the mountain... I looked so high up to the 'Corcovado' that my hat fell off behind.  Getting close to the magical gigantic statue of Jesus with open arms, overlooking the panoramic view of the surrounding islands, was pure joy. How funny that the whole world has now turned into 'Japanese tourists' due to digital cameras. So we played our part in that.

We also rekindled with a good Brazilian friend; Alicia from Paris, who organised a trip by car to the Brazilian St Tropez of Buzios. It was a favourite spot of Brigit Bardot's in her heyday. They had a bronzed statue of her by the sea. I had to sit on her lap for a photo shoot! I and Brigitte became mates! Alicia and her very dear friend Rena took us out to Caipirinha tasting; a delicious Brazilian cocktail made in different juicy flavours. And site-seeing through their city of wonder.

We spent a pleasant afternoon at the beachside residence of Alicia's close family friends in Buzios, who welcomed us with such warm hospitality. I tried to learn some Portuguese. Todo ben? ... Si... todo ben. Obrigado. Translation being... All's well? Yes... all's well. Thank you. It is good to learn just a couple of courteous, useful words wherever one goes. It does make a difference in getting a connection, however small, with the locals. We kept getting lost there every time we came back from the beach to the small hilltop posada, run by a lesbian couple who were so helpful in rescuing us every time we got re-routed into another nameless area. Wasn't easy! We spent an evening walking around the little upbeat village, listening to a live band playing Bossa Nova in a cosy bar.

Back in Rio, amongst our tourist attractions, one cloudy, rainy morning, Hala looked into our guidebook which did not leave her side and called the tour guide direct on his line for a tour of the favelas! 'The infamous hotbed of gun and drug crime'. We also decided not to mention our adventure to our friends as it would cause them unnecessary concern. Now...  I haven't seen the movie 'The City of God' which was pointed out to me later as a true story of violent scenes in the favelas... Known as the slums! Just as well. I like to have an open mind and no fear... of people or places.

We would minimally wear Havaianas flip-flops and comfy gym clothes. No jewellery and tanned to the colour of the locals. Los Cariocas after all. A small minibus tour of eight people, all couples except Sis and I.

At the first stop, we bought a self-made CD from a rasta-looking man who smiled a lot. I thought in a worldly language, he mentioned 'marijuana'! What a super friendly chap! Not sure what was said between us, I offered him some reais (local money) and we left his stall to carry on with the tour. Next was a centre for the children in the favelas; where parents left their young ones for recreation and education for the day while they went to work. Manuel, our tour guide who himself was from a favela, explained how part of the money from the tour goes to this centre.

Walking through the dark alleys where divisions of unlit rooms with a door opening, half-covered with a piece of cloth could just be visible, I could see into the simplicity of these people's lives; a rug, a chair, barely any furniture or light. The people seemed friendly and accepted my offer of taking photos with them. Music and dancing play a large role in their culture... in their sanity.

They dance and show their bright teeth with a burst of laughter that says... 'When I'm dancing...  I'm happy. Nothing matters!' So... Let's dance away!

At the end of the tour, as we were getting on the bus, the rasta-man re-appeared almost breathless running uphill, approached and handed me a CD bag, gave us a kiss on the cheek and left!

"You ARE Brazilian... Right?"  Asked Manuel who must have sussed out what we were up to and seemed sure of the answer.

"No..." was my answer with a cheeky smile.

"You're not?" He did seem surprised!

For the dancing, we visited the Lapa area of the city.  In this lively house, on different floors, there were endless pieces of antique furniture hanging from ceilings, on walls... scattered all over the place. We sat down to a lively dinner, met some fun French guys who we chatted to and watched the band play through the opening which ran through the middle of the building.

To follow... Meeting Shakira in a private bar was epic!

Moving on to greener pastures!

It has been a week of dinner parties, birthdays and good old friends around for dinner; plus exercise, further connecting with the world and making more new friends! How lucky is that?

Life is full of wonderful surprises.  That is... if the surprises are what we choose to look for. I agree that some are more fortunate than others and that life is not fair. So what is the solution? Let's wallow in our sorrows or try and make the most of what we have? Well, I sure know my answer, let's simply enjoy the moments as and when they come.

It was six months after our first meeting when my producer 'friend' and I met up at our usual rendezvous at Soho house, together with other friends. I was accompanied by Shilda. We chatted to the boys at the bar, going through several cocktails and, as I could feel the sexual encounters with my 'friend' has come to an end, decided to leave with Shilda, to go and boogie in one of the latest 'in' nightclubs. As we walked in and started on the dance floor, I was approached by an Italian, in his thirties inviting me to join him on his trip to Venice.

'Yeah right... As though I would just jump on a plane and go to Venice - for the first time, I might add, with a total stranger who I hardly fancied anyway!' We shortly parted afterwards.

Shilda and I came back from the Ladies where the attendant, like most other attendants everywhere, had greeted me with a familiar smile.

"Long time no see," she had said.

I won't even attempt to remember her name! I always ask and have to re-ask several times over and still... I tend to suffer memory loss with names!  What can I say?!

Anyhow, as I was saying... I noticed a very good-looking 'guy' opposite the entrance, towards the end of the dark club scene, at a table with his male friends, chatting and... having a good time.

He was tall to medium height, with light-brown longish hair, a short beard and dressed in a cool manner; a dark velvet jacket and jeans and I would say... early thirties.

I turned to Shilda, directing my head towards where he was standing and said: "He's cute!  Think I'm going to have my first one-night stand tonight!"

"Oh really? A first?" Questioned Shilda.

"Yep. And guess what? You see the guy standing there? He's gonna be the One!" I said, very sure of myself!

"I would like to see that!" Was Shilda's 'good luck with you' answer.

It was towards the end of the evening, and the place was getting emptier as I sat on the lounge-like seating beside him, close enough to talk.

As he turned around to see me, I said: "I hope we're not intruding at your table!" With the cheekiest of smiles.

"Not at all," he said with a particular accent. I am a sucker for accents!

"Do you have a lighter?" I asked as I held a cigarette to my lips. I must add, I had no idea this was a typical 'chat up' line! I was married for so long!

"Sure."  He lit up my cigarette with a smile and a glance towards 'the' cleavage! A good sign. Then continued: "So, what's your name?"

"Haldita." I answered. "Yours?"

"Grant." He continued.

What? As in Cary Grant? I thought. One of my old-time favourites. But I was not going to confess to that! It would make me sound ancient! Ha-ha...

After some light chitter chatter for a few minutes, the conversation hotted up. So I then asked: "So... What's your fantasy?"

"MY fantasy?" he asked, pleasantly surprised!

"Yes... Your fantasy. Anything wrong with that question?" No stopping me now!

"Can I be very honest?"  he seemed ready.

I nodded with the biggest grin my chin could support.

"Well... I would take you back to my trendy pad, take your top off and nibble on your nipples!" He said this in such a cool manner that made me laugh... As a woman does!

He then continued: "So, what's your fantasy?"

"Well, I'll tell you mine after we've been through with yours!"

And on that note, while leaving, I simply turned around to wink at Shilda as she stood there watching me in a 'you did it girl' look of bemusement. 

Leaving Grant's hungry eyes still on an early spring sunny morning, walking by Regent's Park, was another one of the most liberating times of my life... This was about fun and freedom.

A week later, I texted him: "Just saw the movie 'How to Lose a Guy in ten days'... Guess I lost mine in one night!" lol

And he sent a very heart-warming message which was the end of Grant. Life goes on...

A memory that brings a smile to my face!

Don't delay what can be done today to tomorrow...

We take life for granted when our mind is preoccupied with everyday chores.

I first met Carinne at the school runs. She was standing by the rails outside. Tall, dressed immaculately in trousers and a suede, fur jacket with a matching umbrella in hand. She had a European Candice Bergen look about her.

Several weeks on, at the same spot, I smiled her way and we started talking. Thereafter, we would meet occasionally for lunch at Mr Kai and other spots. Carinne was beautiful, kind and charming. Our friendship grew in a short time and I would confide in her about the changes I was making in myself and my life through therapy and workshops.

Some time passed and every time I called to arrange and meet-up, she would simply say that she was not too well and although she sounded rather frail, I did not insist on enquiring further as to what had caused her sickness.

Weeks passed and being entangled in the everyday chores of hectic work, home life, and social schedules and throwing myself deeper into the realm of self-discovery, I kept thinking to call Carinne and tell her of my achievements in feeling happier and stronger than I ever have. But next week was followed by the next and the following and so on... Without any success calling.

It was a cold autumn day when one afternoon, I heard that my dear friend who had been so loving and encouraging had passed away...

'No way... It cannot be... But I had so much to share with her... The last time I saw her walking the street, hand in hand with her loving husband, she seemed perfectly healthy to me! Although a little frail... But, wait a minute... when WAS the last time I saw her? Did a whole year pass so rapidly?' Were what went through my mind. It continued on 'Why didn't I question her regarding her illness?' Why this and why that was the endless list of questions going through my mind.

Too late now... She is gone and except for her smiling face while we talked and her concern for my well-being and her soul I connect with her every time I think of her... I lost my chance to share my newfound happiness and who knows?! Perhaps be of help to what she was going through at the time. My words to her are: "Thank you, Dear Carinne, for being a friend when I needed one. You taught me a precious lesson in life... If I have something positive, good and loving to say to Anyone, I will pick up the phone, send a text, or an email would do or better still I arrange quickly to meet up with loved ones and tell them of my love and gratitude to them. I Shall Do It Now, rather than wait.

Everyone who has had a positive impact in our lives is to be cherished and acknowledged.

Have had a mad week... What's new!! and a very sane one at the same time. So much more to share. Some fun moments and some naughty ones... All great. Have to get ready to see a comedy with more wonderful company, followed by another super birthday bash.  I shall be back... soon, to tell.
Happy Weekend Everyone!

A day that started with effing and ended in elling...

It sure was one of those days today.

Woke up finally after a long sleep and, as every day, opened my curtains and bowed to the Lord with a smile and words of gratitude: "I absolutely love you, God. Thank you." And looking at the gloom outside; yet another cloudy day... Oh well... Typical. What to do?!

My trainer cancelled on me due to a cold. After reading a work-related email and a couple of others, urgh... I decided to sign off and get going.
There was the noise of building work from above and below. Road works; drilling on another side. Where does one get some peace at home? The idea of moving to the countryside would drive me nuts in another way. The bulb blew in the bathroom. I decided the best way to keep zen would be to attend a class at the gym. Nearly tripped on the stairs of the corridor at home. I couldn't find parking so I arrived a little late. To cut a looooong story short, I was effing at everything and everyone left right and centre... silently, of course, and couldn't wait for the evening to come.

Dinner was at the hospitable, darling Mona's. The company was fabulous and the dinner was delicious. I talked to and met more interesting people. It is funny how in London the most frequent question after 'What's your name' is 'Where do you come from'? I usually like to ask: "And where were you born?"

The end to the effing day was an elling night of 'Loving'.

During days like this, I wonder how difficult it must be for hard-working men and women, working mothers and fathers - as I used to be with a business to run. All of life's challenges and surprises; bad or good keep calm and face most situations with serenity and grace. It is not easy now... Is it? And they tell us well, life ain't easy. Just learn to deal with it.

So how does one switch from chaos to calmness?

I decided some time ago that 'I love challenges. Every challenge that life throws my way is learning. That is already a positive note towards feeling stronger in dealing with everyday happenings. It had not been an easy start to the year for me, going through deep grief for losing a loved one and I must acknowledge that it was my Ex-husband and his mother who were by my side and accompanied me to a church to light candles for his kind soul. Plus the pain from a mad moment of going through a traumatic experience of liposuction that left me in pain for months with a blooming breast-to-knee girdle to wear 24/7! I was told by doctors afterwards: "Lady, you're really lucky to be alive!"

The cold winter was bitter.

The only way to go through any kind of pain is to learn to deal with it with a positive outlook! Difficult but possible. I allowed myself time... in any way that would suit my lifestyle, to go through the emotions of sadness, of missing my dear father and feel him all around me, more so than when he was alive. He comes to me every time I think of him. God Bless his loving soul. As for the physical pain and the bad cold, I stayed in without any energy, only being able to move from the sofa to my bed and visa versa. It gave me time to be calm and to dream. Nothing wrong with daydreaming. It made me clearer where I am in life and how my time is here to move on to the next chapter of my life. I will still make it exciting and fun, but I will gradually change some habits and create new, more rewarding ones. I cannot even say that it was not easy, because it really was! Just allow time in your life when you feel it necessary in order to move on to greener pastures, a more fulfilling life!

The progress from my surgery was slow, so the next thing was to plan a trip to India for meditation, yoga and generally a sense of revival.  The trip with three old and new girlfriends was the answer for the road to recovery.  So, off we went. Now that was another story!

Life goes on and all is great again. I have built up my immune system by meditating and exercising and now feel whole again. I knew it and I took the time needed with an outlook of more happiness to come and here it is.

I always say 'Life is f***in amazing... And it can only get better!' 

Meeting friends... parties... wedding.

What I love most about London is the multicultural mix of people one comes across daily. The most cosmopolitan city in the world. To me, London is a 'mini-world'.

Last week, Isabella (my Latino partner in crime!) and I decided to meet.
"Shall we go to this party at the Stables?" She asked. "There's a good DJ playing there tonight."
"At the Stables, honey? I'm not really into riding!" Were my remarks, accompanied by laughter.
"Haha ...  You're so funny! It's an old Stable turned into a club. Really good music." She continued.
"Why not?! Not a late night though." I tried to convince myself.

The evening started with a bite in Clapham followed by a visit to the Stables at the opposite end of town. We arrived before midnight, bought tickets at the door and entered yet another 'shady' club scene. Now, shady is fine, it simply implies a different scene to a nightclub where people go to see and be seen. It is more liberating to dress casually and dance 'like no one is watching' than to constantly be aware of our surroundings and everyone eyeing each other up and down.

In the first dark warehouse area, the music was blasting away.  
We had to make our way through a crowd of people spread and dancing, to a corridor with stables on each side.  
I keep thinking 'I've visited so many cities and underground spots around the world and yet there are more surprises to come'.

Each stable had bench-like perimeter seating with a pole in the middle of the area. As we slowed down to peep through the partially open doors into each room, with prison-like bars halfway across the wall. My eyes widened more with a cheeky smile on my face as...  'Wow'! They were almost like torture chambers where, in fact, men and women alike, came to get a release from the emotions of their daily lives. I say that because no one cared who was watching and there were people hanging onto the poles dancing freely, while others sat around chatting or enjoying the music. It was like a packet of 'Allsorts'; different looks and nationalities; some in leather, casual clothes or in suits; some half-naked; only tops off!! (Don't get too many ideas here now!) Clean fun in a shady atmosphere. It is a free world after all.

We had good fun dancing.

In contrast to that was a wedding I attended last week. The groom, Kildare and I met a while back at one of those 'shady spots' I mentioned earlier. I had organised a table at the fabric club for a friend of a friend's stag due and they had kindly asked me to join them.  As I was mingling and having a good time chatting and dancing, Kildare approached me and asked, while gently tapping his index finger on my shoulder: "Now... This is a stag party and we're all men at the table. What are you doing here, I want to know!" He said this with a tone of bemusement and a smile.

I smiled back and threw my hands in the air as a gesture of 'Who knows?'
"I see... You're one of the boys. Aren't you?" Kildare exclaimed.
"I can be one of the boys, one of the girls, one of the gays! Take your pick." was my reply.
We laughed and that was the start of a good friendship with a fellow worldly character.

Kildare's extravagant wedding was set in an old monument that people had flown in from across the continent to attend. It was a memorable evening of bonding and sharing the love and happiness of the groom and his stunning bride.

It is not easy getting ready to go out! The question of what the hell do I wear? The hair? The shoes followed by accessories can be time-consuming and nerve-racking... Well, for most of us ladies anyway! But I had already decided on my new, red Cleopatra dress and my darling hairdresser Dez had taken care of the hairdo.
I allowed myself enough time to get ready. However, the dress had plenty of tiny clips on the side which were literally impossible to reach under the arm. My thoughts were as follows:

'Damn... I tried and tried... Ok no worries, I will leave it open under the jacket so Heidi can help me with it in the cab. Do I have to wear these super high heels which will kill my feet but go with the dress? The handbag... How can I find the wretched thing amongst the pile of bags in their sleeves! Where did I hide those earrings again?!
Told you... stress all the way. Haha...

"Yes, coming," I replied to the cab driver at the door.
A newlywed, Heidi got into the cab with her husband Berto on the way to the wedding party. She was a thoughtful, young and ambitious friend I met through Kildare. The poor girl struggled the whole way to try and close those many clips on my new dress; unsuccessfully! We were both red in the face, taking our jackets off with perspiration! Oh no...
So she asked Berto to intervene; whereas, he simply took a look and said: "Haldita, it seems the strap on the back is wrong, it should probably be in the front." These were the words of a truly modern man.
Grrrrrrrrrrreat... And he was right.

We entered the magnificent hall and I grasped Heidi's arm and dragged her to the Ladies' room. I had to take the dress off completely and put it on again with the strap in the correct place, while ladies entered with shock at seeing my almost naked body!   Oooops... Well, there was no choice. Goodness knows what they thought! Irrelevant. Strapped in properly, Heidi tapped water on her red face and we re-entered the hall with full attention to the grandeur of the event.

This fairy tale wedding was emotional and heart-warming. Meeting more lovely people from around the world and who knows... Perhaps even keeping in touch with some in due course.
I had my classic moment of the evening, of course. Standing outside, beneath the columns with an unlit cigarette in my hand, forever searching in my handbag for a lighter, a gentleman appeared with his own.
"Can I offer you a lighter?" He asked with a certain accent.
"A woman's bag! And with all the lighters I collect, seems I haven't brought One with me!"  I thanked him as he lit up my cigarette.
"I can usually tell accents, but I can't quite place yours." He started.
'Good try' I thought.
We chit-chatted more until the conversation was driven... quite quickly (I must say) to: "So you're single. Do you want to get married again?" He asked.
I was rather taken aback by his abrupt directness, then again... I am used to this by now and couldn't help but wonder where this is leading to.

"Well, it's great when two people meet, fall in love and want to get married but I've been single for many years now and happy. Besides, it's all about timing. Guess my time hasn't come, yet." I answered.

"Wouldn't you say that the world has changed and women's and men's roles in society have changed with it? Women are no longer as they used to be. They're after careers and have more say in society in general." It was a good point, if only I didn't feel a slight tone of chauvinism in his expression.

"For sure, women have a stronger position in society. This has perhaps confused the role of men as it used to be in our generation, but the young seem to come to terms with this more easily." I contributed.

"Yes, but don't you think relationships don't last any longer. People are less tolerant." He said.
By this time, I went straight to the point and to test what he really was getting at.
"So, are you married?" I pointed out.

"Well... Let's say I'm separated." He continued on with the conversation when I noticed a lady approaching with a look of 'there goes my husband chatting up another bird' kind of way. At which point he turned around, gave a false smile, took his lady by the arm and introduced her as his wife! 

They departed and I was left thinking ... Deja-vu! I am shocked! NOT.

Lunch today with another very dear friend; Sandra, left me inspired with many more learnings of how our lives change and what steps we each take to make our stay in this world, a more meaningful and fulfilling experience. More of that to come...

Why can't there be peace? Is the media helping?

I couldn't help but wake up to the thought of the misery Sept 9/11 brought to so many families worldwide. May the soul of the deceased rest in peace.

As I don't keep up with the news through newspapers or television, a friend sent me a message regarding a priest in New York who is threatening to burn The Quran!
Whaaaaaat? Why is the media giving this madman any importance? I did say I won't speak ill of anyone. Well, I try but surely, this is utter nonsense! We shouldn't even be hearing of this, yet it has been given worldwide coverage.

Nor could I help but notice that today marks the final day of the month of Ramadan; Eid al-Fitr and yesterday was the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashana, all to be celebrated this weekend.

My heartfelt congratulations to all. Wouldn't it be pure joy for them and every one of us to think that every day of our lives should be celebrated? To love thy neighbour and to be kind and human towards one another?

Keep on dreaming... You may think. But we can only live with hope and a positive mindset, or life will feel miserable.

Gratitude. I'm going to write my list of 'gratitude' now. 

Speedy... Speedydating!

Well, actually, it was wine-tasting! The speedy way.

Isn't it bizarre how everything, at least here in Europe has become speedy?!
On my last two trips with EasyJet, if you didn't get on speedy boarding, then you had to forget any thought of queuing and run for the best seats! It reminds me of my travels to Roma Airport many years ago.

Anyhow, my dear friend Lynda, whom I met some two years ago on a job called today.
"Darling, are you free tonight? You must come and join a few girlfriends for a speedy dating wine tasting. I think there were few places left."  She insisted.
"And why not!" was my response. "I've never done one of those before and it's good to try everything in life once.'

I already had an assessment with my new,  I must say 'hot' trainer this afternoon so went on after a late lunch with my lovely Girl (daughter) to get ready for the evening's event.

With wet tied-back hair and dressed up in another 'cleavage showing' outfit, I arrived on time!  I confess to being a woman all the way and don't always get to places on time. But I'm working on it.

The mini-cab driver refused to accept my directions to go via the embankment so we got stuck in traffic. I explained: "It's not without reason that my friends call me 'cabby'! I've probably been driving in this city since before you were born," I smiled. "But that's fine."
So he then showed off by taking me through the backstreets and getting me there on time! Perfect.

Lynda and two other girls arrived shortly afterwards and we went into the wine-tasting session.
We were handed tags with our names. I wish we could do that at parties to spare me the embarrassment of having to ask people's names so often. As we put them on, I looked at Lynda and said: "Well, mine goes next to my cleavage so anyone can have a good excuse to look!" Haha... We laughed. Life is about laughter.

We sat at tables of six: three men and three women and started with the white wine. The speaker talked about the six different wine varieties we were about to taste.

The first wine from the Loire Valley was to be twisted around the glass whilst holding it by the base so the temperature of your fingers would not affect the taste. You see, I learned something new for sure! Then, after keeping it in the mouth to taste... it was up to you to swallow or spit!

The flavours of oak, raspberry, spice, green apple and acidity all came to mind. We also had to guess the price of each bottle. I was spot on with £6.99 for one! All that shopping has come in handy.

The three men at each table had to move around so everyone could mingle and meet. It turned out a fun evening, going there with the usual idea of 'no expectation' but to meet up with good friends and be happy, paid off again. There was one guy, called Stevie Wonder - as white and English as can be. He was absolutely sweet and charming and also shared my passion for Stevie Wonder - as did Yolanda sitting next to me. The Swiss banker, Paul, was not quite as charming but he tried. Bless. I'd say he had a slight chip on his shoulder. The French city man, Jean-Pierre, seemed a little disappointed and left in the middle of the course. But the most fun part of the evening was at the very end after the meal when the lovely John joined our table with The Irishman, Naughty Tony and the Australian, Robert, with whom we shared a taxi ride later.

"So have you done the speedy dating?" Asked Lynda turning to the boys! Well, boys sound better than guys or men.
"Yes," answered Tony. "A few times. You go online and meet people on it."
For most of us, it was our first time.
"When Lynda called me today, I just went online and quickly booked this Speedy dating wine tasting and here we are." was my input.
"I did the three-minute speed dating once. As we kept moving partners, for questioning every three minutes, I couldn't remember anything of the first nor any others by the end!"  Robert said.
"I tried Match, although I know people have met and got married on that, it just wasn't for me." I had to open my big mouth! haha...
"Oh really? How come?" Tony was eager to find out.
"Well, there's something a little stuffy there for me!" Sometimes I wish I could stop words just popping out... "So, what happens now?" I had to redirect the subject fast.

"And did you have sex on it?" I don't even want to recall who asked that!
Now, most people find this kind of questioning too personal and perhaps even rude...  I just find it amusing. I couldn't but think of Marilyn Monroe. Cool woman. She couldn't help being sexy!
"As it happens, no," I answered with a certain attitude.

If I am to be truthful (which is the only way I can be) in John I saw a good friend. There was a gentle spark in his eyes. Tony was definitely naughty, it's a trait close to my heart and a fun friend to know. And Robert lives in my neighbourhood. It would be lovely to meet him for a chat over coffee. It is all in the name of friendship. No other intentions. I am also grateful for my friends, like Lynda, who allow me to be part of their lives. Let's open our hearts and our minds and receive.

And finally... I did give my blog card to the boys and to Yolanda. It was lovely meeting you guys xx

Compassion, Love.

It was at dinner tonight that the subject of compassion and love arose.

The red light of my Blackberry came on as I was driving. Now do I obey the rules and check them when I park or...? Well, my curiosity got the better of me... again... So, I had to check my message... at least I was at a traffic light. The blackberry messenger read:  
Aisha: 'What u up to? Want to join dinner at 8?'

Now, although we were always introduced when we'd met at friends' dinner parties over the years, she'd barely looked my way or said hello in those days. Not that I blamed her in any way. I used to try and keep to myself at parties - well, those at which I was to play the role of 'the proper wife'! Being in that 'box' was more suffocating than wearing the heaviest necklace. But when we're going through that phase, we are blind to what is beyond. It is as though it is our destiny and hence, the final destination. We are here to stay. In Aisha, I saw an outgoing woman, always surrounded by friends, laughing. How wonderful to see - however, far from where I was then.

So we never talked until she and I had separated - as had so many amongst us. I was out with one of my girlfriends, in one of my favourite night spots, when I saw Aisha's face through the standing crowd, accompanied by her reserved and charming gay friend. She was warm and friendly and asked us to join them. She seemed surprised as I was now very different to that shy, quiet woman she'd met before. In fact, my talking probably did her head in! 

She openly confessed: "I hated you when I saw you at parties. I used to think that Haldita is so boring!"
"Haha," I laughed. "Well, I was. And I thought you were amazing and you are."

It was love from that moment on and she has become a friend, a sister and an inspiration to me. Many fun adventures with Aisha will come to mind and shall follow but, for now... Let's go back to our main subjects of love and compassion.

The discussion was at first between Ramsy and Christoph.

We were drawn into their conversation when the word passionate kept coming up. A subject close to our hearts... but is it the same for everyone? Is it simply that some are compassionate and others are not? Or are there different levels of compassion, as we are all different? Could someone who'd committed murder have compassion, too? Just different to mine and yours?
Or would someone with compassion be incapable of any act of injustice?

The conversation then turned towards love.
"We're all different and have different feelings and thoughts. I keep telling you. Compassion is different in all of us, but it is there." Went on Ramsy with great passion in his voice.
"No," Christoph exclaimed. "You either have compassion within or you don't."
"Then, how about love?" Ramsy was getting heated up and continued: "Love is a different feeling for all of us. Yet it exists in all of us."
Everybody on our table of seven had something to say when Pedro looked towards his partner and said: "Now, if the subject was sex, Aisha would have a lot more to say!"
At which point we burst into loud laughter.

I came home and decided to look up the words. Thank goodness for Google! It saves us from getting lost in the streets, by finding our route, and provides a dictionary - without moving our butt.

Compassion:
'A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune'.  Which was Rana's comment at the table.

My thoughts are... Anyone could feel that for another given the situation. Yet the opposite is merciless and indifferent. Then again, if someone has no mercy, could this be no mercy for anyone or anything? Or would this vary in different situations?

Love:
'The emotion of strong affection and attachment; representing human kindness and compassion'.

Now when the word 'attachment' is mentioned, I get confused again! Through my self-development stages, my husband had given me a book to read: 'Seven Laws of Success' - the seven laws to help you gain success in everything you do. Each chapter was to be practised before moving on to the next.

For me, the most difficult law was 'detachment'. I had learnt through life experience that gaining and losing material things was easy. I did not get attached to houses, cars, or particular jewellery because they would come and go. I enjoy them when they are there and let them go when their sell-by date arrives. Goodness, how many times have I moved homes, or changed cars! How much jewellery have I lost? When their time with me is up, they have to go.
Besides, I feel rich in my heart. Now what wealth could bring higher happiness?

However, I was too attached to the people around me. It would be tears and moodiness for a few days every time a close friend or member of the family was away. I worried about them and because of that, I would get agitated, concerned they were safe and sound on their journey through life. What did I achieve through those pointless worries? As the Spanish would say: "Nada de nada!" Absolutely nothing.

If I did not learn the rules of detachment well and practice them enough to be able to let go of those around me, how would my children grow independent and free? As they follow their own paths through life, experiencing their experiences and learning from their mistakes, I need to let them go. But they must not mistake my desire for their freedom to be a lack of care or love for them. Watching them grow into loving, caring souls really has been my utmost and biggest blessing. 

May God Bless All Our Children!

I'd like to add one last thing before I retire at yet another ungodly hour! Haha ...
This is to all of you making time in your busy lives to read these words: Thank you. It would be great if you could join in and write your comments. How do you feel about some of the subjects I've mentioned. Is there anything you like to share?

Much Love

Modeling in Vienna

About four years ago (2006) from the time this blog is written, my lovely gay friend Elliot had called from America to propose a meeting place in Vienna. We would be starting a train journey from Vienna to Lviv in Ukraine, then onto Odesa by the Black Sea. In Lviv, he kept pointing at the girls' long legs with surprise and I would inform him:
"Darling Elliot, we're neither into girls, so please stop giving me a complex! Kindly refrain from noticing those long girls, walking on high heels on cobbled stones as comfortably as though they were born in them!"

As we got back from our journey to spend a few glorious days in the magical city of Vienna, Elliot's fashion designer friend Alex, who lived with his partner Jan, invited us over for dinner in his trendy basement flat. It featured arches and a catwalk all painted in a light grey colour; floor to ceiling. After dinner and some red wine, Alex encouraged me to try some of his designs and asked if I would pose in them while he took photos. So, we played the fashion game of a photo shoot, for fun.

"Darling," Alex said with a tone of excitement looking at me. "Would you be a model in my next fashion show in about three months, here?"

I laughed high and said: "Are you kidding?"

"No, really I mean it." Alex went on: "Would you do it?"

"Of course, I will," I answered without hesitation. Imagine, at my age and with my voluptuous body. It will be something I can write in my diary to read when I am 80!  Haha." It goes without saying that I was delighted.

The months flew by while I continued my travels and was always too busy to respond to Alex's concern regarding whether I would show up. The friend to join me on that trip was Shiba - a dear old friend whom I'd met so many years before on a sunny beach in Mahé, in Seychelles. We'd both been just married at the time. We checked into the hotel and I left Shiba to visit the charming city while I attended the rehearsal for the fashion show.

Upon arrival, I saw Alex's face light up. Four others had turned up to the rehearsal. The Austrian lady Alga was about my age, only slightly more weathered - if you get my drift - and a Young Yemenis girl, Samira, who seemed rather troubled with her personal life as a refugee. We were introduced.  

"And here are the two male models, they're from Turkey and work in the kebab shop close to my flat," were Alex's introduction to the other two.

Well, so they were my fellow models! 

We went through the rehearsal, trying on the clothes and walking along to Austrian March music. All rather serious. As we were trying to calm our nerves behind a curtain partition while the audience was arriving. I noticed the bag of weed I was given before the show. I turned to my new model friends and asked: "Would you girls care for a spliff?"

"Yes. Sure."  They answered in unison.

So, I got rolling and we smoked just before the beginning of the show while the smoke must have carried through to where the audience was seated.

The music began and the girls left what looked like our tent, separated by curtains all around, to go on the catwalk. For my part, all I could hear from behind the partition as I changed was the sound of Ah! Oh! I peeped through the opening of the curtain to see Alga almost fall off the stage, while Samira caught her heel on the decorated fabric covering the wall behind them.  

Ooopsy! My turn had come. As they walked in giggling nervously, I waited for my 'tune' to arrive, walked on stage with a green hunting coat to my knees, a bag hanging from across one shoulder to the hip on the opposite and... wait for it... A green hunting hat with two long feathers attached to the side.  

I stopped at the beginning of the catwalk, seeing for the first time the audience of about sixty to seventy people crammed into the now smoky basement room.

"Here we go ... This is the only chance I may ever get to be a model, so...  go for it girl! were my only thoughts. I put one hand on my waist and I used the thumb of the other to lift the edge of the hat whilst lowering my head towards the audience who by now, was not sure what to expect!

I moved my hips as Marilyn Monroe would have done and went up and down the step across. I winked at a lady I had met at Alex's on my last visit and blew kisses at another all watching from their seats below. Shiba was roaring with laughter in the front row, in total bemusement at what I would do next! I almost danced my way through the show to some supposedly serious Austrian March music which could have well been a good tune of house music to me! I was a model, for a night. How amazing!

Poor Alex was sweating buckets at my amusing role which turned his rather serious fashion show into a theatre of laughter and clapping every time I came on the catwalk. His individual style gave me the chance to put on a different show with each outfit I turned up in; from the hunting look to the Moroccan-style dress with a scarf which I swiftly turned around my head to be carried like a burkha to show my eyes only. The few times I glanced at Alex sitting on the stair, he had his hand under his chin, with a look of 'what next?!?' across his face.

The fashion show was finally over and we changed into the clothes we'd arrived in before joining the supportive audience. Helen, whom I had winked at during the show, greeted me with a hug and said: "I loved your performance and if I had a theatre production going, I would employ you immediately!"

Performance? I thought. Well, I guess she had a point. Haha. Others joined in to say how much they enjoyed it all. Thank goodness there was no room for Alex to complain.  However, this was my only attempt at modelling, not to be repeated.  

Shiba and I carried on to attend a clinic in the countryside for losing weight and the usual eating of a stale piece of hard bread and boiled potatoes while turning up at 7 every morning to a stretch class followed by various exercises during the day... After the modelling! This health spa thing of everyone being exhausted from starvation, going to bed at 9pm and being rather moody was a new experience and one that I can't see myself repeating.

Waiting on the platform for the train back to Vienna, Shiba rushed to the small supermarket at the station only to come back twelve minutes later, empty-handed.  

"What happened?" Was my hungry remark at seeing her disappointed face.

"I almost got arrested, didn't I?" She explained. "I'd picked all this healthy food for our journey, but when I saw the long queue I decided the only way I would make it to the train would be to jump the queue. This man approached me with a card in my face saying he was a policeman and if I didn't go to the back of the queue, I'd be arrested. So, I dumped everything and had to come back. Empty-handed!"

We settled into a first-class compartment, as the economy was full and were entertained by a funny yet mad Austrian artist who promised to send me one of his paintings if I wrote my address on a piece of paper he'd torn from a notebook and sprayed it with my perfume! Peter also told us his life story with Shiba's persistence. 

Still waiting for that painting!  haha ...

Go with the flow of life and let it unravel new pastures beyond your wildest imagination. What have you got to lose?