It was at dinner tonight that the subject of compassion and love arose.
The red light of my Blackberry came on as I was driving. Now do I obey the rules and check them when I park or...? Well, my curiosity got the better of me... again... So, I had to check my message... at least I was at a traffic light. The blackberry messenger read:
Aisha: 'What u up to? Want to join dinner at 8?'
Now, although we were always introduced when we'd met at friends' dinner parties over the years, she'd barely looked my way or said hello in those days. Not that I blamed her in any way. I used to try and keep to myself at parties - well, those at which I was to play the role of 'the proper wife'! Being in that 'box' was more suffocating than wearing the heaviest necklace. But when we're going through that phase, we are blind to what is beyond. It is as though it is our destiny and hence, the final destination. We are here to stay. In Aisha, I saw an outgoing woman, always surrounded by friends, laughing. How wonderful to see - however, far from where I was then.
So we never talked until she and I had separated - as had so many amongst us. I was out with one of my girlfriends, in one of my favourite night spots, when I saw Aisha's face through the standing crowd, accompanied by her reserved and charming gay friend. She was warm and friendly and asked us to join them. She seemed surprised as I was now very different to that shy, quiet woman she'd met before. In fact, my talking probably did her head in!
She openly confessed: "I hated you when I saw you at parties. I used to think that Haldita is so boring!"
"Haha," I laughed. "Well, I was. And I thought you were amazing and you are."
It was love from that moment on and she has become a friend, a sister and an inspiration to me. Many fun adventures with Aisha will come to mind and shall follow but, for now... Let's go back to our main subjects of love and compassion.
The discussion was at first between Ramsy and Christoph.
We were drawn into their conversation when the word passionate kept coming up. A subject close to our hearts... but is it the same for everyone? Is it simply that some are compassionate and others are not? Or are there different levels of compassion, as we are all different? Could someone who'd committed murder have compassion, too? Just different to mine and yours?
Or would someone with compassion be incapable of any act of injustice?
The conversation then turned towards love.
"We're all different and have different feelings and thoughts. I keep telling you. Compassion is different in all of us, but it is there." Went on Ramsy with great passion in his voice.
"No," Christoph exclaimed. "You either have compassion within or you don't."
"Then, how about love?" Ramsy was getting heated up and continued: "Love is a different feeling for all of us. Yet it exists in all of us."
Everybody on our table of seven had something to say when Pedro looked towards his partner and said: "Now, if the subject was sex, Aisha would have a lot more to say!"
At which point we burst into loud laughter.
I came home and decided to look up the words. Thank goodness for Google! It saves us from getting lost in the streets, by finding our route, and provides a dictionary - without moving our butt.
Compassion:
'A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune'. Which was Rana's comment at the table.
My thoughts are... Anyone could feel that for another given the situation. Yet the opposite is merciless and indifferent. Then again, if someone has no mercy, could this be no mercy for anyone or anything? Or would this vary in different situations?
Love:
'The emotion of strong affection and attachment; representing human kindness and compassion'.
Now when the word 'attachment' is mentioned, I get confused again! Through my self-development stages, my husband had given me a book to read: 'Seven Laws of Success' - the seven laws to help you gain success in everything you do. Each chapter was to be practised before moving on to the next.
For me, the most difficult law was 'detachment'. I had learnt through life experience that gaining and losing material things was easy. I did not get attached to houses, cars, or particular jewellery because they would come and go. I enjoy them when they are there and let them go when their sell-by date arrives. Goodness, how many times have I moved homes, or changed cars! How much jewellery have I lost? When their time with me is up, they have to go.
Besides, I feel rich in my heart. Now what wealth could bring higher happiness?
However, I was too attached to the people around me. It would be tears and moodiness for a few days every time a close friend or member of the family was away. I worried about them and because of that, I would get agitated, concerned they were safe and sound on their journey through life. What did I achieve through those pointless worries? As the Spanish would say: "Nada de nada!" Absolutely nothing.
If I did not learn the rules of detachment well and practice them enough to be able to let go of those around me, how would my children grow independent and free? As they follow their own paths through life, experiencing their experiences and learning from their mistakes, I need to let them go. But they must not mistake my desire for their freedom to be a lack of care or love for them. Watching them grow into loving, caring souls really has been my utmost and biggest blessing.
May God Bless All Our Children!
I'd like to add one last thing before I retire at yet another ungodly hour! Haha ...
This is to all of you making time in your busy lives to read these words: Thank you. It would be great if you could join in and write your comments. How do you feel about some of the subjects I've mentioned. Is there anything you like to share?
Much Love
The red light of my Blackberry came on as I was driving. Now do I obey the rules and check them when I park or...? Well, my curiosity got the better of me... again... So, I had to check my message... at least I was at a traffic light. The blackberry messenger read:
Aisha: 'What u up to? Want to join dinner at 8?'
Now, although we were always introduced when we'd met at friends' dinner parties over the years, she'd barely looked my way or said hello in those days. Not that I blamed her in any way. I used to try and keep to myself at parties - well, those at which I was to play the role of 'the proper wife'! Being in that 'box' was more suffocating than wearing the heaviest necklace. But when we're going through that phase, we are blind to what is beyond. It is as though it is our destiny and hence, the final destination. We are here to stay. In Aisha, I saw an outgoing woman, always surrounded by friends, laughing. How wonderful to see - however, far from where I was then.
So we never talked until she and I had separated - as had so many amongst us. I was out with one of my girlfriends, in one of my favourite night spots, when I saw Aisha's face through the standing crowd, accompanied by her reserved and charming gay friend. She was warm and friendly and asked us to join them. She seemed surprised as I was now very different to that shy, quiet woman she'd met before. In fact, my talking probably did her head in!
She openly confessed: "I hated you when I saw you at parties. I used to think that Haldita is so boring!"
"Haha," I laughed. "Well, I was. And I thought you were amazing and you are."
It was love from that moment on and she has become a friend, a sister and an inspiration to me. Many fun adventures with Aisha will come to mind and shall follow but, for now... Let's go back to our main subjects of love and compassion.
The discussion was at first between Ramsy and Christoph.
We were drawn into their conversation when the word passionate kept coming up. A subject close to our hearts... but is it the same for everyone? Is it simply that some are compassionate and others are not? Or are there different levels of compassion, as we are all different? Could someone who'd committed murder have compassion, too? Just different to mine and yours?
Or would someone with compassion be incapable of any act of injustice?
The conversation then turned towards love.
"We're all different and have different feelings and thoughts. I keep telling you. Compassion is different in all of us, but it is there." Went on Ramsy with great passion in his voice.
"No," Christoph exclaimed. "You either have compassion within or you don't."
"Then, how about love?" Ramsy was getting heated up and continued: "Love is a different feeling for all of us. Yet it exists in all of us."
Everybody on our table of seven had something to say when Pedro looked towards his partner and said: "Now, if the subject was sex, Aisha would have a lot more to say!"
At which point we burst into loud laughter.
I came home and decided to look up the words. Thank goodness for Google! It saves us from getting lost in the streets, by finding our route, and provides a dictionary - without moving our butt.
Compassion:
'A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune'. Which was Rana's comment at the table.
My thoughts are... Anyone could feel that for another given the situation. Yet the opposite is merciless and indifferent. Then again, if someone has no mercy, could this be no mercy for anyone or anything? Or would this vary in different situations?
Love:
'The emotion of strong affection and attachment; representing human kindness and compassion'.
Now when the word 'attachment' is mentioned, I get confused again! Through my self-development stages, my husband had given me a book to read: 'Seven Laws of Success' - the seven laws to help you gain success in everything you do. Each chapter was to be practised before moving on to the next.
For me, the most difficult law was 'detachment'. I had learnt through life experience that gaining and losing material things was easy. I did not get attached to houses, cars, or particular jewellery because they would come and go. I enjoy them when they are there and let them go when their sell-by date arrives. Goodness, how many times have I moved homes, or changed cars! How much jewellery have I lost? When their time with me is up, they have to go.
Besides, I feel rich in my heart. Now what wealth could bring higher happiness?
However, I was too attached to the people around me. It would be tears and moodiness for a few days every time a close friend or member of the family was away. I worried about them and because of that, I would get agitated, concerned they were safe and sound on their journey through life. What did I achieve through those pointless worries? As the Spanish would say: "Nada de nada!" Absolutely nothing.
If I did not learn the rules of detachment well and practice them enough to be able to let go of those around me, how would my children grow independent and free? As they follow their own paths through life, experiencing their experiences and learning from their mistakes, I need to let them go. But they must not mistake my desire for their freedom to be a lack of care or love for them. Watching them grow into loving, caring souls really has been my utmost and biggest blessing.
May God Bless All Our Children!
I'd like to add one last thing before I retire at yet another ungodly hour! Haha ...
This is to all of you making time in your busy lives to read these words: Thank you. It would be great if you could join in and write your comments. How do you feel about some of the subjects I've mentioned. Is there anything you like to share?
Much Love
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