R.E.A.L. Let's be Real

It has been an emotional day for me today.  'What... You mean another one?' You may ask?
Yep... Another one.

It began with a message from Aisha:
Pedro's father passed away. So sad.
My dear friends, hope you don't mind me sharing this here.
It touched me deeply as it was the third death of a father of friends, I heard of since mine passed away on New Year's Eve.  It makes me cry to think of him not being around when I visit my hometown soon. It is a tough one and I have spent most of this year grieving in my own silence when I am on my own. But this also gave me the chance to spend more time at home and reflect on my life. I can only speak of my own experience but he has been with me, guiding me, helping me with the rest of the forces of the deceased who were close to me and touched me in one way or another.

Through moments of despair, he was there to help me reach out and look into new pastures and ways to make my life a more satisfying existence. Don't underestimate the power of the love of your family and friends; they never leave your side until our time comes to join them in spirit.
'I cherish everyone I love in this life and the ones who have left me physically.'

Now to move on to the many other aspects of my day. Got invited to a spaghetti bolognese, homemade by Aisha. The greatest chef, ever. Some catching up and good girlie advice from my friend.
The dark-haired, beauty Risha arrived to join us for a Turkish coffee. She told us of her summer away and mentioned the subjects of her new paintings. She is an artist inside and out. So full of love.

I had to part in order to get home, change... yes, another outfit and pick up Sinalda for dinner at the private Century Club in Soho, followed by the theatre.  We saw 'Educating Rita'. Based on the movie with Michael Caine and Julie Walters.
"Who was the actress playing against Michael Caine?" Asked Sinalda.
"Mmm... I think it was Julia... no Julie Walters?" I remembered magically!
"No, Julie Walters is an older lady, the actress was young." Exclaimed Sinalda.
"Darling... That movie was some 20 years ago!  She would be an older lady by now!" I said laughing.
"Haha... Was it? Yes, you are right it was!" My friend agreed. "Have we gotten that much older too?"
"Well, if the 20 years have passed so fast that we didn't even realize it, then it couldn't have been that bad.  Especially that we are here now, with a much wiser understanding of what we want and we don't."  Were my thoughts coming out in words.

We watched the play halfway and decided to go out for the intermission.  It was pouring rain!  What's new ...  in London.
"I am enjoying it but it's a little repetitive."  Were Sinalda's view on the play.
"Darling, you were yawning ...  quite a lot!"  I responded.
"No... I saw you were yawning!"
"Haha... yes I yawned once after seeing you do it. It is contagious you know!"
"Really?? I didn't realise I was yawning at all!"
"So shall we leave?" I said relieved.
"Well, it is good but we have seen it." Sinalda did not want to disappoint me.
"Let's go but we won't tell anyone we left in the middle!" Oh... I was glad.
"Of course not!" She hailed the first cab.

Sinalda dropped me off at the Century Club once more to go and pay a short visit to darling Dory who had been the manageress since I started going there and had always... But I mean always welcomed me with the warmest smile and open arms.  She had informed me earlier to be going back to her homeland in the weeks to come and I had said to try and come back to see her.

Dory and I sat to a glass of champagne and got really bonded after so long. She was another person dear to my heart, whom I barely saw, which was irrelevant to the fact that we had made the connection of 'friendship' from the first moment we met.
"My time has come to leave and go back home," Dory said to my dismay. "After my father passed away and having spent time with my family before he died, I realized how important family really is and how I want to spend time with them."  She said with a heart-warming expression on her youthful, dark-complexioned face.
"And you are right my dear. I can't believe it has taken us all this time to actually sit and talk." I said.
"I am a believer that things happen for a reason. You must come and visit me." Were Dory's kind words.
"Oh!  And I shall. In good time. As it happens, I have met up with Sandra; a friend who also moved back some years ago and we are in contact again. She has kindly invited me over too.  And I can think of another friend insisting I visit as well! I must just say how special you are and how much I loved you from the moment we met." I was crying by then.
"The feeling is mutual.  Let's meet before I leave." Dory said as I took my umbrella out, ready to leave home.

When I say be real... Be true to yourself.
As I walked in the door, it was telephone conversations with friends over the value we give ourselves that got my attention.
We do at times feel an emptiness within which boils down to a lack of self-love. And the first person who would fill up that void temporarily 'would do'.  We start friendships, relationships where others around us can see and try to tell us of our wrongdoing. Listen... We have All been there, one way or another.  But we choose to learn it our way... and that is a choice to be respected.

At these times, I tell myself...
'Haldita, be real here. Look around you, what has life and all these years of observing and hopefully learning, taught you?'
'If a person has done you wrong and hurt you, one way or another, over and over again... Are you going to let this go on and on till it becomes ugly and it brings you down? Or will you save those 'precious' moments by letting it GO. Blow it in the air like a feather and let go. No one is more precious than you.'
If I am not whole, if I don't love myself and who I am and what my life is about, then how can I truly show the love I feel for others because one way or another, I will make them wrong.
Please say it with me... Dear Lord, I thank you for who I am. I love myself. All I want to feel is love and that is all I want to give.

Now, you see when I said I was feeling emotional, it was heart-felt.
Love thy Father, thy Mother and thy neighbour... God Bless